Thursday, July 06, 2006

Murder without conscience

Here are some quotes from a pro-abortion person, Miss Caroline Weber, who wrote an article at The Onion online magazine.

The Onion Article

When referring to the killing of her child she said:

"I am totally psyched for this abortion!"

"Those pro-life activists made it pretty clear that, unlike me, they actually think abortion is bad and to be avoided. Are they nuts? Abortion is the best!"

"It wasn't until now that I was lucky enough to be pregnant with a child I had no means to support."

"I just know it's going to be the best non-anesthetized invasive uterine surgery ever!"


Who does Miss Weber blame her abortion on? The pro-life movement.

"The funny thing is, I actually have the pro-life movement to thank for this opportunity."


It's our fault? She says:

"If my HMO wouldn't have bowed to their pressure not to cover oral contraceptives, I never would've gotten pregnant in the first place."


Sorry ma'am, if you hadn't had sex you wouldn't have gotten pregnant, it's not the HMO's fault for not supporting your promiscuity while not married.

To sum it up, Miss Weber said:

"I realize there are people who will criticize me, calling me selfish and immature because I took "the easy way out." I realize there are those who will condemn me to hell for what I'm about to do. Well, I don't care what they say: It's worth it for all the fun and laughs I'm going to have at the clinic. So listen up, world: I'm pro-abortion... and I love it! See you at my post-abortion party, everybody!"


Miss Weber, you have killed your child, which you admit is a baby/human being, intentionally. That does make you an admitted murderer. I'm not going to "condemn you to hell", I'm going to pray for your forgiveness and for the suffering which you will endure when you realize what you have done. Every baby you see from that moment on is going to wake you up to the realization that you killed your child.

Speak out against abortion. Don't just complain about it. Join the Monthly Call for Life at MonthlyCallForLife.com. We call, email and/or march to let our representatives know that we will not stop until they stop the killing of innocent human beings!

MonthlyCallForLife.com

United we stand - Divided they die - Pass it on

1 Comments:

Blogger Damon said...

Comment Successfully Posted

Gravatar You're serious, aren't you?
Kevin T. Keith | Homepage | 07.06.06 - 4:02 pm | #

Gravatar What a douchebag. Ever heard of satire?
Freedom Girl | Homepage | 07.07.06 - 1:55 pm | #

Gravatar Pete, I hate to tell you this, but The Onion is a humor publication where all of their interviews and articles are made up. But I'm glad you took it seriously.
Cinnamon | Homepage | 07.07.06 - 2:36 pm | #

Gravatar *cough*satire*cough
TexasHornyToad | 07.07.06 - 3:08 pm | #

Gravatar That's beautiful. I mean, the Onion is consciously working to create satire and yet you outdid them by writing an absurdly funny article without even knowing it!

How on earth did you learn to use a computer?
puck | 07.07.06 - 3:30 pm | #

AHAHAHA! Totally missed the boat, huh? You are so smart, S-M-R-T!
Anonymous | 07.07.06 - 4:13 pm | #

Gravatar Check it out: http://sufficientscruples.com/bl...tinuing-series/
slattern | 07.07.06 - 4:14 pm | #

Gravatar Oh Pete, I am really blown away with your sheer lack of a clue. I am sorry that you fell for the Onion's satire.

I hope you do a bit more research next time before you fly off the handle.

Best of luck with burning and creating your lynch mob for this fictious woman.
stormtoys | 07.07.06 - 4:38 pm | #

Wow, you're obtuse! But I won't criticize you; I'll pray for you.
WestEnder | Homepage | 07.07.06 - 6:24 pm | #

You are a dumbfuck.
Kala | 07.07.06 - 6:52 pm | #

And in your banner, is the sentence "We will end abortion through our unity and the Monthly Call for Life" a reference to a period? Serisouly, I didn't not know that the shedding of my unterine lining was actually a pro-life rally. I'll let my right-wing fallopian tubes have it later.
Kala | 07.07.06 - 6:54 pm | #

Gravatar I promise you, I'm honestly curious. Are you a little bit embarassed for misinterpreting The Onion? Who pointed this article out to you? Or have you read the e-magazine before, always taking it seriously? Do you believe us when we say it's not? Please, drop me a line.
Jessica | Homepage | 07.08.06 - 12:12 am | #

I'm pro life, but sweet Jesus you're an idiot. For your next post, how about a passionate speech on the need to immediately free Prince Albert from the can?
Boo | 07.08.06 - 12:24 am | #

Bra. Vo.
Rowan Crisp | 07.08.06 - 2:12 am | #

Gravatar Dumbshits like you are why I left the anti-abortion movement and the Republican party years ago. Christ on a cracker, dude, where have you been the last 5 years if you don't know that The Onion is a satirical site?
Neil Morse | Homepage | 07.08.06 - 7:16 am | #

Gravatar Lemme just say, I was at the post-abortion party and if fucking rocked....Fallopian tubes were just falling out for the hell of it.

I believe L. Ron Hubbard could use a mindless zealot like yourself.
L. Ron Hubbard | 07.08.06 - 11:14 am | #

And some irony from one of his other posts:

So why do many liberals believe that it's okay to kill someone who kills animals, believes in war to challenge evil or digs up a forest for lumber. The answer of course is that we expect liberals to talk and act like lunatics.
WestEnder | Homepage | 07.08.06 - 2:56 pm | #

Oops... forgot to add the 2nd part:

Blogmaster is right. Liberals always talk like lunatics. They should talk like his colleague, Rev. Spitz:

I think it is morally jusified to kill a babykilling abortionist if that is the only way to stop him/her from murdering more innocent babies. I know you don't agree...
WestEnder | Homepage | 07.08.06 - 3:03 pm | #

Gravatar Wow.

Really...

Wow.
The Dean of Cincinnati | Homepage | 07.08.06 - 7:33 pm | #

Gravatar Its semi-retarded people like you that make the world go round. Now stop blogging and get back to your job as an elevator operator. Just remember, its so nice being an epsilon level citizen, without having to worry your noggin about thinking mans problems.
JesusHatesYou | Homepage | 07.09.06 - 4:31 am | #

Gravatar M-O-O-N. That spells "dumb".
Spider | 07.09.06 - 5:52 am | #

Oh. My. God. I'm saving this as a PDF to use as an example that someone actually beleived a story from the Onion. Nobody will believe me otherwise.
Anonymous | 07.09.06 - 5:59 am | #

HAH! I laugh at you! Pathetic excuse for a caring human being. I didn't think it was possible, but you make the fascists you agree with look bad! May the great and glorious FSM have mercy on you and allow you to have a brain in the next life!
X | 07.09.06 - 6:13 am | #

Hey Asshat.. Your refridgerator is running. C'mon.. Who read the article to you?
Anonymous | 07.09.06 - 9:21 am | #

Gravatar There is no parody like self-parody. Who on the internet doesn't know that The Onion is a satire site?

And I say that as a pro-lifer myself.

I'm tempted to snark about your qualifications to be an elevator operator, but I'll just go away.

Snickering.
McGehee | Homepage | 07.09.06 - 10:32 am | #

M'Gawd. Stupidity on such a vast scale amazing, and the fact that it took you still don't get it seven years after this article was written simply boggles the mind.
flabbergasted | 07.09.06 - 1:51 pm | #

But Pete, the Onion article is from 1999. Don't you think you should try to track her down and see if her views have changed in the last seven years? That should be easy to do, except for how she's completely imaginary.

And shouldn't you be concerned by more recent events also reported in that paper of record, like this shocking development?
sd | 07.09.06 - 1:55 pm | #

Gravatar Another follower of the FSM? It is good to see His noodly appendage bringing us together. I always liked onions in my meatballs.
The Dean of Cincinnati | Homepage | 07.09.06 - 5:56 pm | #

You idiot. Have fun with your crusade, jackass.
Laughint His Ass Off | 07.09.06 - 9:11 pm | #

Gravatar Oh my! It must be REALLY embarrassing to be you.
Lynn S | Homepage | 07.09.06 - 11:01 pm | #

Nice. The Onion is a SATIRE paper, you stupid ass. You people are just dumbing down the gene pool aren't you?
Woman's Body, Woman's Choice | 07.09.06 - 11:09 pm | #

Gravatar Wow, this is just the belly-laugh I needed to end a fabulous weekend. While it is frightening that people can actually survive into adulthood with this severe a case of tunnel-vision and general jackassery, it least sometimes it provides a good guffaw.

Cheerio!
cellar door | 07.09.06 - 11:10 pm | #

Gravatar I always suspected rabid pro-lifers were idiots. Now here's proof.

Fume all you want, abortion is still legal and most likely always will be, at least in your lifetime.
someone with more than one bra | 07.09.06 - 11:20 pm | #

Gosh, I'm sorry you got confused. It must be kind of embarrassing. I thought maybe you were doing a Colbert-style parody, but... uh, the other stuff in your blog suggests to me that that is not the case.
June | 07.10.06 - 12:09 am | #

Pwned.
SZ | 07.10.06 - 12:29 am | #

Excellent. I think you should devote all of your energies to tracking down Miss Weber and changing her mind about abortion. After all, if you can change her mind, you can change anybody's.

And don't listen to all these commenters telling you that the Onion is satire. They don't know what they're talking about. You'll show them.
caia | 07.10.06 - 1:37 am | #

Hee! Thanks for the giggle. Great satire, A+.



...wait, you were serious? I... hot damn!
Sarah | 07.10.06 - 4:39 am | #

it's good to see that for every complete jackass out there who thinks he can run our country there are a hundred people ready to laugh their asses off at him. and pete.. you are a jackass.

now if we were just more vocal everywhere. somehow these guys get away with labeling liberals as hippies and conspiracy theorists (and as people who would actually write this complete joke article), when day after day this corrupt administration proves us more right. don't let them fit our country into their tunnel vision. call them out.

((OH P.S... did anyone think that maybe pete knew this article to be a joke, but used it to pursuade other like-minded tunnel-visionists to sway in his direction?? i wouldn't put it past him.))
el nado | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 4:53 am | #

Ladies and Gentlemen... we now have a new tide mark for the shallow end of the gene pool.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 5:04 am | #

Gravatar Hey, cretin, as everyone else has already told you, The Onion is a satire magazine.

The Onion article did make a good point, though. If contraception was covered by HMOs, there would be fewer pregnancies. Plus, because of you anti-choice people, pharmacists are refusing to fill perfectly legal birth control prescriptions. You anti-choice people brought on the abortions yourselves. Plus, it's clear you anti-choice people don't like sex unless its only in marriage. Talk about stupid and misguided.
The Countess | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 7:24 am | #

Gravatar Oh my god, you are SUCH a MORON! )
IUnderstandSatire | 07.10.06 - 10:53 am | #

I havent laughed so much in ages. I feel lucky to have seen this, if I made a gaffe like this I'd have destroyed all evidence ASAP. But then again I took "Recognising Humour 101" and "Basic Identification of Jokes" so I knew what I was getting into.
Ben | 07.10.06 - 11:13 am | #

Gravatar Oh my god, this is almost as good as the lady who complained about an article praising JK Rowling as supporting a Satanist, quoting an Onion article as her source.
Char | 07.10.06 - 11:26 am | #

Honkknob! You're an idiot.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 11:54 am | #

Gravatar Hey fuckwad. Do you realize that the entire internet community is laughing at you now? Thanks for making my day.
Friedbrownball | 07.10.06 - 12:54 pm | #

Gravatar Oh, but I do respect that you laid out exactly what pro-lifers really hate - promiscuous women. That is what it is all about - punishing women for having sex. If men were the ones getting pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
Friedbrownball | 07.10.06 - 1:03 pm | #

Gravatar This is the best thing I have read in a long time. With people like you fighting to criminalize abortion, no one has anything to worry about.
Kellly | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 1:15 pm | #

If your goal was to suck all the credibility out of your "movement," you've succeeded. Congratulations, you've made all pro-lifers look like a bunch of people who can't CHECK THEIR SOURCES.
dimsum | 07.10.06 - 3:09 pm | #

Dude, seriously, you need to get news from a more reputable source. Try http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/
DeStoopidizer | 07.10.06 - 3:22 pm | #

And when Bat Boy performed the abortion, he found Osama bin Laden hiding just beyond the under-developed fetus (dialysis machine and all.)
Themuleskinner | 07.10.06 - 4:10 pm | #

AWESOME. It's only Monday, and you just made my week!
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 4:27 pm | #

Gravatar Okay, I'll bite. Even if this were real, your argument about "sorry ma'am" but you shouldn't have had sex outside of marraige... makes no sense. How do you know if people are married or not? Married women get abortions. Seven-year olds that were raped can get abortions. The world isn't as simple as you think.
ELaine | 07.10.06 - 4:31 pm | #

I think you meant "Blogging without conscience."
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 4:35 pm | #

Gravatar Holy fuck. Just... holy fuck. I thought the stupidometer didn't register this low, but apparently I was wrong.

Genius, "The Onion" is satire. You know, stuff made up to poke fun and make a point?

Dig out your blogging license; you're suspended until you grow some brain.
Jacky Tar | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 4:42 pm | #

You are a fucking idiot. THE ONIION IS A SATIRICAL PUBLICATION. Jesus fucking CHRIST!!! *bangs head against wall*
WTF.... | 07.10.06 - 8:28 pm | #

Why did you abort your brain?
Azuma | 07.10.06 - 8:31 pm | #

You tell 'em Pete!

Don't listen to these liberal pinko shmucks telling you that this is some sort of 'satire'. You've done a thorough and impressive job of debunking this Miss Weber bitch and those communist babykilling faggots know they don't have one single idea or argument that can stand up to your rigorous intellectual scrutiny. Their only hope now is to whine 'But we were only joking' like the crybabies they are and try to make you look like some sort of dumbass. Pay no attention! Real Americans can spot the truth a mile away, you mark my words.

These unChristian fucks pulled the same shit on us when we used an Onion article to expose Harry Potter for the Satanist cult it was. One minute we had a grassroots campaign bandwagon going, the next minute this 'satire' tag gets laid on it, and every punk-ass motherfucker on the internet starts laughing at us. It took us MONTHS to live that shit down.

Well I say enough! To hell with this liberal satire bullcrap. I'm armed, I'm a christian and I'm not afraid to defend my way of life with extreme prejudice! The next time one of you babykilling terrorist faggots wants to debase MY goddamn country and MY goddamn religion with this so-called "satire" shit, I'm going to grab the first motherfucking liberal abortionist I come across and ram my bible and a copy of the Bill of Rights up the bastard's ass. See how you'd like THAT, you satirical internet motherfuckers!
Ezekiel | 07.10.06 - 8:32 pm | #

Gravatar This is awesome. Best thing I've seen all day.
The Disgruntled Chemist | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 8:40 pm | #

Gravatar All those people are saying 'The Onion is satire' to throw you off the trail, Pete. Don't believe them. The Onion is a respected online journal - as it says in their masthead, "America's finest news source."

Keep up the good work, my friend.
decrepitoldfool | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 8:48 pm | #

Gravatar Your new mantra:

Eye yam sofa king, we todd did.

Practice saying it out loud.
Chris | 07.10.06 - 8:49 pm | #

Gravatar Wow, that second grade education is really paying off. Amazing.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 8:50 pm | #

Gravatar In the blogosphere, no one can hear you check your sources, and then decide to take down the article. Well, maybe leave it up and pretend you didn't see the comments, and hope it all ends soon.

I bet this is not how you wanted your 15msecs of fame. Well, congratulation: you got it whether you like it or not.

For the record, I don't think you are necessarily stupid. I do think you might be a little too credulous, however. You might want to put together some arguments based on facts -- you ain't gonna convince many people if you keep shooting from the hip like this.

Maybe a review of "Modes of Reasoning"?

Better luck next time!
Fnord | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 8:50 pm | #

Gravatar Pete,

This is utterly hysterical, your falling for an obvious satire/parody from a publication that's devoted to nothing other than parody. Your piece is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
Orac | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 8:57 pm | #

Next, you can pray for a brain. I'm sure it will be just as effective.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 9:04 pm | #

Don't listen to these naysayers. They are trying to throw you off the scent. The godless ones have let too much of themselves show and you called them on it. Kudos to you.


-kyle
kyle | 07.10.06 - 9:15 pm | #

Holy crap.

Although I suppose if you can believe a carpenter walked out of a cave after three days of somatic death, there's nothing to prevent you from believing that someone would be so excited about her abortion that she'd throw a party.

I suppose you thought Jonathan Swift was serious, too.
The Teflon Don | 07.10.06 - 9:23 pm | #

lmao.
Observer | 07.10.06 - 9:30 pm | #

...I...I...I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 9:43 pm | #

Gravatar The Countess at 7:24 nailed it -- heh heh heh heh he typed "nailed" heh heh heh -- but maroons like you will be jokes as long as your obvious misogyny, in this form an anti-contraception angle and the blatant "SLUTS! Keep your legs shut until we MEN decide when you can have sex" attitude drives your *cough* beliefs *cough*
Henry Holland | 07.10.06 - 9:45 pm | #

Gravatar My God, that was the best laugh I have had in weeks.

Thanks for putting your lack of wisdom on display for all to share
John | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 9:46 pm | #

oh dear sweet raptor jesus. i would say you've made me lose all faith in humanity, but the 70+ comments of "you're a fucking moron" slightly redeems it. Keep up the good work! Maybe you should start citing General J.C. Christian or Fafblog! Or Jon Swift! They're really reputable sources.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 10:11 pm | #

No way, man. The Onion is a hard-hitting investigative news site. Look, they've already found the author of this blog.
JB | 07.10.06 - 10:13 pm | #

Gravatar Wow, you Republican yokels are really astonishingly stupid, aren't you?
Rob S | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 10:15 pm | #

Gravatar Dear sir,

While I am uncertain that you have a central nervous system of sufficient complexity to register high-level emotions such as embarrassment or shame, I still must implore you: please, please, please... no matter how many people on this comment thread cast doubt on your mental capacities or call you "asshat" it is imperitive that you never delete this entry. You have accidentally written the funniest thing in history.

Johnathan Swift and Voltaire working together for a hundred years could not surpass you.

This must be preserved for posterity.
Tom Traubert | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 10:15 pm | #

Holy shit... I can't stop laughing... at you.

But really, the Onion has a good point in showing us that this is really how some radical pro-life activists really see pro-choice people. I'm triyng to be nice here... but wow, you are a fucking idiot. How long has The Onion been doing satire?... since 1988. Wow, you're eagerness to condem this woman has completely blinded you from... all reason. Here's a tip, next time you have something to write... don't.

But seriously... that was a great laugh.
NowhereMan | 07.10.06 - 10:19 pm | #

wow, that was a great laugh.

two words: you dumbfuck
jhoch | 07.10.06 - 10:29 pm | #

Gravatar Wow. Your mother should have had one.
Frac | 07.10.06 - 10:44 pm | #

Dumbest.

Blogger.

Ever.
Foobarski | 07.10.06 - 10:46 pm | #

(P.S. Thank Ba'al that Firefox makes it easy to download and save the magic. It would break my heart to think something so, um, special might ever be lost.)
Foobarski | 07.10.06 - 10:50 pm | #

Has someone archived this yet?

I've saved it but lack a place to post.
Evan | 07.10.06 - 10:59 pm | #

Gravatar Don't listen to these idiots! The Onion is "America's Finest New Source" and contains some of the finest reporting on the abortion issue in the country - stories that the MSM just won't report for fear of angering abortion advocates. For example, the article "Recreational-Abortion Enthusiasts Applaud Repeal Of Partial-Birth Ban" was, as far as I can tell, only reported by the Onion. It just goes to show...
Ben | 07.10.06 - 11:05 pm | #

Are you nuts are just that thick witted? Using "The Onion" as source material?

Or you have to be joking.

Which one is it?

And if you are serious, you are a prime example as to why pro-choice people cannot take you seriously.
Nowonmai | 07.10.06 - 11:06 pm | #

By the way, someone should correct your terminology. Let it be me.

Clearly you have problems understanding the world in general (satire, humor, etc.) But let's get at least ONE thing straight: nobody -- yes, that's NOBODY (ok, except maybe Hitler) -- is "pro-abortion."

So here's what you need to do: get it through your humorless head and hate-mongering heart that reducing the number of abortions that occur is a goal that BOTH sides of the debate have. Calling the people you purport to "pray" for "pro-abortionusts" only further publicly displays the crass ignorance that your clueless "Onion" has already amply demonstrated.
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 11:15 pm | #

I always knew the day would come when blogs were so easy to make that retards would start publishing.
Chaka | 07.10.06 - 11:35 pm | #

Gravatar God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent— it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills."
― Robert Heinlein, in The Notebooks of Lazarus Long

Did you catch this one? "Tenth Circle Added to Rapidly Growing Hell"
Monado | Homepage | 07.10.06 - 11:36 pm | #

I can give the guy a break for somehow knowing that The Onion isn't satire, but what I can't get past is how ANYONE could read that article and think it was the real thing.

Good grief... are there people out there so ignorant and clueless that they think those quotes could possibly be real?
Anonymous | 07.10.06 - 11:47 pm | #

Gravatar I am pissing myself laughing at your stupidity!!!

You and people like you are the reason that your cause is forever doomed.
Dub | 07.10.06 - 11:51 pm | #

Gravatar schmuck
Laughing at you | 07.10.06 - 11:51 pm | #

I just wanted to get on the bandwagon when I say AHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh man, what a MAROON!
I Believe in one less god than | 07.10.06 - 11:52 pm | #

Gravatar Dude, you just became the BEST POSSIBLE example of what sad, sad mistakes abortions can solve.
God | 07.10.06 - 11:59 pm | #

You are EXACTLY the reason why there should be more abortions - or more accurately, better birth control in the first place so no one would feel they *had* to have an abortion.
Joreth | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 12:07 am | #

Gravatar IF YOU TRULY ARE A CHRISTIAN...

You should know that you can NEVER, EVER pass judgement on others. If I want to have an abortion, that's MY CHOICE. You can pray for me if you like, but forcing me to do something against my will makes you both judge and jury -- and IS A SIN.

Why can't religious folks keep their own religion straight?

KILLING IS WRONG, RIGHT?

But most zealots in this country support the war.

How is killing an innocent, unarmed Iraqi ANY different than killing an innocent, unarmed baby?

You are a sinner. And people like you make me sick.
Michael Thompson | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 12:27 am | #

Gravatar I too am laughing.
matthew aidekman | 07.11.06 - 12:27 am | #

Gravatar Also, I like that subtle reference to abolishing a woman's period.

Stay classy!
Michael Thompson | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 12:28 am | #

Gravatar Other Blogs (like Pharyngula) have been picking up on this article, and *look* at the number of comments you've had. There are almost one hundred, compared with maybe five at most for your other articles - Internet Fame at last, dude!

You have made it to the big time! Well Done! Check your site meter readings out for this week, too. You've hit a winner. (Too bad about the satire angle unless you really were being tricky and trying to turn tables on people with reverse-satire... but are you that clever?) Naahhh.

(signed) marc
Marc Buhler | 07.11.06 - 12:34 am | #

Gravatar Congratulations, Pete! You and your lack of reading ability have made Fark! Now EVERYONE will know about your bonehead move. Well done!
Some Farker | 07.11.06 - 12:51 am | #

Gravatar jesus fucking christ
andy | 07.11.06 - 12:52 am | #

Thanks to Joreth for pointing this little bit of idiocy out to me
I snatched the site & have it mirroed in case the asshat author removes it
James the evil1 | 07.11.06 - 12:54 am | #

As a Pastafarian and believer in the TRUTH His Noodleness has shared with all those willing to listen, I would like you to know that I will pray for you to the one true Flying Spaghetti Monster. Because of your ignorance and outright stupidity, I can't imagine how someone like you will ever get to Heaven. It's obvious you hate women. This is not the path to the Beer Volcano. You had better work on getting that GED and start applying some critical thinking skills. The FSM does not reward stupidity and the oppression of women.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 12:56 am | #

Pete, I have the story that should make your next blog entry. It's ABSOLUTE PROOF God answers prayers!

http://www.theonion.com/content/...tent/node/ 28812
Chuck | 07.11.06 - 1:02 am | #

Gravatar Fantastic! You ARE the voice of the right-wing! Humorless, clueless, and un-American. Thankfully, the founding fathers put up a shield against your type, it's The Constitution! Designed to keep the nation safe from you. But then you'll argue "it needs to be changed!" mmpphhff!
Frank | 07.11.06 - 1:03 am | #

Gravatar The Colbert Report is also satire - just so you know.

Hope you're not disappointed.
Dale Greer | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 1:04 am | #

I laughed so hard I aborted my foetus. Thanks for nothing, babykiller.
Bev | 07.11.06 - 1:25 am | #

Gravatar You poor, poor idiot. You are never going to live this down. Just give up this blog and start over; even if you erase this post, too many people have seen, and even the other anti-choicers will never take you seriously again. Poor little wingnut...
Mike Crichton | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 1:32 am | #

Gravatar Pete man, these people are saying that onions are not real!
Can you believe that?
I say you prove to them that onions ARE real. Cut an onion in half and rub the two halves in your eyes.
That'll show them.
.
Ick of the East | 07.11.06 - 2:25 am | #

Gravatar Did you guys and gals really expect right wing christo-fascist Bush sycophants to actually have a sense of humor?
PoliShifter | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 2:27 am | #

you are fucking dumb
hop | 07.11.06 - 2:43 am | #

Gravatar Do you think the Inquirer is real news too?
MM | 07.11.06 - 2:47 am | #

Gravatar ... or fox news?
MM | 07.11.06 - 2:48 am | #

The fact that you can vote scares the shit out of me. That is the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
Hugh | 07.11.06 - 2:51 am | #

Are you a fucking ass?
Alan Smalan | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 2:53 am | #

Watch out! Water is really trying to take over the world!

It's written! It MUST be true.


And in case you didn't get that, I was implying that you are a fucking idiot.
TDDM | 07.11.06 - 2:53 am | #

So your mom fucked her brother and made a dumb fuck like you, and you are still against abortion??
Harley999 | 07.11.06 - 3:00 am | #

Gravatar Is there realy anything I need to say that hasn't been said, like "you're a fucking idiot" or "douche bag"...
Strawberry | 07.11.06 - 3:04 am | #

I know Onion articles (such as the one that stated that J.K. Rowling really does advocate witchcraft with the HP novels) have snagged frothing-at-the-mouth right-wing fundie lunatics before, but has a blatant satire rag ever snagged left-leaning media?
Golfball | 07.11.06 - 3:06 am | #

Gravatar Easy on the boy, folks. Make him think and he might choke on his bubble gum.
Z. | 07.11.06 - 3:12 am | #

/golfclap
yetti | 07.11.06 - 3:16 am | #

Gravatar you are aware that the onion is a fake newspaper, right? the person who wrote that doesn't exist.
Alex | 07.11.06 - 3:16 am | #

Gravatar I'll bet you admire the intellect and scholarship of Ann Coulter.
WSWilson | 07.11.06 - 3:17 am | #

Gravatar oh dear! im afraid that anything you have to say in the future will have little of no meaning after this episode.

Hilarious.. absolutely hilarious!

Thanks for sharing.

Jason
Jason | 07.11.06 - 3:17 am | #

Gravatar What is satire? Is it a Frech word meant to destabilize our great country? I am sure the real name for that site is "Le Oignon".

That was a most heartfelt, and sensitive article about the sanctity of life. Shame on you dirty commie creep pinko subversive bastards, I hope you all go to hell and die. You will see the error your ways when Jesus comes down to annoint GW Bush for a 3rd term.
-Amen

First satire and now sarcasme.
Billy Bob | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 3:22 am | #

Gravatar My god, and I though *I* was a useless fvckstick. I'm glad this link is traveling the internet so everyone can see what a total fvckstick loser you are. Fvckstick.
Fvckstick | 07.11.06 - 3:23 am | #

I really hope you reproduce. In a few years time, my children might need a laugh as good as this one. The ones I don't throw into the shredder on a whim, that is.
Friso | 07.11.06 - 3:23 am | #

That's just dumb with a capital D - U - M - B.
ProChoicer69 | 07.11.06 - 3:26 am | #

Gravatar Wow.

It's scary that this is the intelligence of the pro-lifers.
Zero | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 3:26 am | #

Gravatar Baby Jesus should have come as a vision to your mom and insisted that she abort you, so that the world would have one less useless idiot walking around.

For fvck's sake, are you totally retarded? o_O
Douche | 07.11.06 - 3:26 am | #

My boyfriend fingered my pussy last night, and I became pregnant. Abortion is the best. The Onion is not a news source.
observer | 07.11.06 - 3:27 am | #

I have done my duty by passing this idiodicy along on my blogs, and have used ScrapBook extension to capture this stupidty for prosperity.

Should you *ever* run for public office, your detractors will have this article to prove you can't tell fact from fiction, and go around singing "If I Only Had A Brain".
Nowonmai | 07.11.06 - 3:30 am | #

animal porn u fuckers animal porn hot sweaty nutsack.. bbbbbaaaalallllllssss
animal porn | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 3:32 am | #

Somebody aborted the wrong part of the gene pool.
Squid | 07.11.06 - 3:32 am | #

Gravatar http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cac...us&ct=clnk&cd=1

Congrats, this page is now cached by Google and effectively a permanent fixture on the Internet landscape!

This is why red states* shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.

* There's technically no such thing as a red state. There are just great red wastelands between the nice pockets of civilization scattered around the country.
Matt | 07.11.06 - 3:35 am | #

Gravatar Don't miss Pete's subsequent post. Despite all of our best efforts, he STILL doesn't get it!!
WSWilson | 07.11.06 - 3:36 am | #

Two Words - Fucking Moron!
Matt | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 3:42 am | #

christ almighty...too bad no one aborted this douchebag before he could inflict his idiocy on the internet
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 3:43 am | #

All right, all right, I think he's gotten the point. The baying hordes of right wingers should be arriving in their characteristically behind the curve fashion any minute now. Let's skidoo!
The Voice Of Reason | 07.11.06 - 3:45 am | #

Gravatar Jeez Pete - The Onion is only a satire! If your world is governed by prejudice then you only see and hear what you want to see and hear.

But then that is typical of fanatics all over the world. Hmm. Maybe it is time to look within the borders of the US to quelch fundamentalists passing "Fatwas" (religious judgements) on other people?
Duane Boyer | 07.11.06 - 3:51 am | #

Pete, you have achieved something few bloggers do - you have found a HUGE audience to read your publications. Your responsibility is clearly to continue the dialogue that you have initiated.

Please, enlighten us further ! I'd love to know where else you're getting inspiration from.
!--! | 07.11.06 - 3:55 am | #

Bwahahaha, this just show yet again how silly the so called "pro-life" movement is. Bunch of self righteous propagandists.
green light | 07.11.06 - 3:59 am | #

Not only have you reinforced my belief in the pro-choice movement, you have also firmed up my stance on euthanasia. You've certainly got an incurable condition that qualifies*.

* Satire, sarcasm or sinful suggestion? I'll let you decide.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 4:06 am | #

Gravatar HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH | 07.11.06 - 4:54 am | #

This is the funniest god damned thing I've ever seen in my life.

God couldn't even get this funny. Oh my God! This is actually funny because of God!

HAHAHA!!
Jacky | 07.11.06 - 5:00 am | #

Gravatar You have no chance. Make your time.

all your abortion are belong to us.
zeroone | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:01 am | #

Gravatar Jesus is laughing at you.
jesus | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:02 am | #

Gravatar True genius

and you still think you should be allowed to vote?
VMOS | 07.11.06 - 5:06 am | #

Gravatar Another American idiot *sigh*
jon | 07.11.06 - 5:12 am | #

Gravatar while you're checking out the Onion, the horoscopes are usually spot on, too...
chrysalis | 07.11.06 - 5:13 am | #

NEDM
Happy Cat | 07.11.06 - 5:40 am | #

AHA. The Onion is FAKE.
LE | 07.11.06 - 5:45 am | #

Nice, you are probably the same kind of person that is a supporter of the NRA or at least have a gun at home... need I point out the hypocrisy? It's kinda funny that almost everybody with an I.Q. above 80 could make up that the article was a hoax...
GIlles | 07.11.06 - 5:46 am | #

You are the reason many people probably go pro-abortion. Better abort than give birth to a kid who goes thru life without a clue like u!

Best of luck taking your next breath buddy!
Rakesh | 07.11.06 - 5:50 am | #

Gravatar You do realize that, by posting portions of an article in a humor publication as "evidence" of a real attitude, you make yourself look exceptionally foolish.

If you don't have the mental capacity to tell the difference between satire and factual articles, your ability to reason is in serious question and any points you make won't have credibility.

What's more, The Onion is famous (and infamous) as a humor publication. The fact that you don't know this makes your appear unsophisticated at the least and incapable of doing proper research at most. The fact that you insist the article is real only further undermines your credibility and your cause.
Orchid | 07.11.06 - 6:10 am | #

Miss Weber, you have killed your child, which you admit is a baby/human being, intentionally.



No Babies were harmed in the making of this Onion Article. However, I'm sure many bottles of boos will be consumed by the staff at the Onion, in celebration, of the first duffus that took an article seriously. seriously. However, a current article declaring that " 18 year old miraculously finds soulmate in hometown " has probally happened.
Tim Cone | 07.11.06 - 6:23 am | #

Gravatar Seriously, I have been giggling for hours over this - not about the actual case in point, but everyone else's funny ass comments on this blog.

It makes me happy to see so many people justly attack this bullshit.

Cheers!
Mozart Lova' | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 6:28 am | #

Gravatar AHAHAHAHHA!!! This is now all over the net - currently riding high on Reddit.com. What a puritanical idiot you are!!
Bob Toagles | 07.11.06 - 6:38 am | #

Jesus wept.
bigbadsi | 07.11.06 - 6:55 am | #

So the Union is not real? It was all a joke? Why didn't they tell me?
Peet | 07.11.06 - 7:04 am | #

Dear author,

You are not qualified to hold a strong opinion about something.

Regards,
The world
Guy | 07.11.06 - 7:14 am | #

So that's how you get your facts, right ? Time for serious thinking on your part. You should view this as an opportunity.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 7:15 am | #

Gravatar Wow talk about shooting yourself in the foot. AGAIN.

"Mess Weber summed up her article with..."

There is no Weber. Capish?
Indian Stallion | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 7:16 am | #

Gravatar God's teeth, son, your ignorance is really flying a flag today! If you're trying for the double-finesse of satire, I have to say that, yup, we've bitten hard and you're really good at this and we should all bow down to you for being so good at it... but somehow, I don't think that that's what you were up to.

I can only imagine that someday you're going to forget to breathe.

Would you be any more annoying if you actually had a brain?
John Hedtke | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 7:21 am | #

Gravatar we should just turn voting booths into death machines to kill all people who vote republican
die american neo con dumbass i | 07.11.06 - 7:32 am | #

Wow, I can't believe someone can really be this conceited. You are an ignorant fuckwit who should be tied to a wheelchair and shoved off the edge of a cliff with a cactus up his ass.
Jigglybums | 07.11.06 - 7:32 am | #

Gravatar Stupendous - can't stop grinning at this! It's not really worth insulting you or arguing over your delusions - I'm sure you'd just be too thick to get it...
zarquon the omniscient | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 7:37 am | #

religious, conservative pro-lifers... wanna keep the baby... don't want to support it! nice!
Religion is the root of all ev | 07.11.06 - 7:39 am | #

HAHAHAHA. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Asshat.

I thought everyone in the entire freaking world knew that The Onion wasn't a real news source.

Just goes to show that the extreme right wingers will believe any bullshit.
Still laughing | 07.11.06 - 7:44 am | #

YOUR PARENTS TAUGHT YOU SEX IS NOT GOOD, SO NOW YOU'VE GONE MENTALLY RETARDED, TAKING THE ONION FOR SERIOUS.
GET A LIFE! QUIT YOUR CHURCH AND SAY "HELLO, WORLD!" COME TO MANHATTAN AND BECOME A SEX WORKER! OR GO TO IRAQ! EITHER WAY *QUIT BLOGGING!*
John Big Dick | 07.11.06 - 7:48 am | #

Gravatar Hi and thank you for your writings. My name is Tom, though my friends call me Horseonovich. I think abortion is a sin against God and this hideous woman who is so proud of her aborting an innocent should be hanged. There is no room for mercy when it comes to women who kill those innocent cell clusters they call "fetuses" and we know are beautiful babies.

Thank you and keep up the good work. Please write to me.

Tommy
Tom Horseonovich Colligan | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:05 am | #

Someone didn't realize that The Onion is a joke (i.e. its fake, idiot). Well, enjoy having the world laugh at you I guess.
FPStanley | 07.11.06 - 8:10 am | #

This is *exactly* the kind of inadvertant humour I'd expect from a pro-lifer.

Oh, BTW, you've been reddit:

http://reddit.com/info/9ry2/comments

Note that this (http://marchtogether.blogspot.com/2006/07/ satire.html) only makes us laugh harder at you
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 8:12 am | #

Gravatar Controversial stuff !
web design uk | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:13 am | #

Thanks for the laugh.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 8:23 am | #

Are you serious? You didnt really think? Did you... oh my word
jake | 07.11.06 - 8:23 am | #

Jesus fucking christ! you fucking retard.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 8:25 am | #

Hail Xenu! *cough*
Karl | 07.11.06 - 8:25 am | #

Gravatar Thanks for proving to yourself what everybody else already knows: pro-lifers are blind fucking stupid.
James Cole | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:26 am | #

hahahahahaahahahahahahhaahaaaaaa...

lol

hahahahahahahhahahaaa..

classic. absolutely classic.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 8:26 am | #

Gravatar I never thought of the idea of throwing an afterparty......thanks to you i'm gonna have a good weekend.
And you say abortion isn't fun ?
your sister | 07.11.06 - 8:27 am | #

Interesting..

It is you all that fail to see the point.

Pete has allowed you all to show yourselves as the mindless lemmings you are.

If Pete had made an error in repaeting satire as though it were fact, he would have deleted this entire thread.

Rather he allowed all of you to ramble on like a bunch of steer on a rampage without a clear thought of your direction or intent.

Pete has recognized good satire and simply made it available for discussion.

Just as the Onion uses satire and humor to make their opinion know, Pete is using satire and humor.

The truth is Pete, all good satire is grounded in some fact and that is why you knew you get the response you did.

Good job Pete
storm78676 | 07.11.06 - 8:29 am | #

You got to be kidding me. Are you, no wait, obviously you are that stupid. Pull your head out of as and get some oxygen in your brain.
Mike Mc | 07.11.06 - 8:32 am | #

you = the dumb
rsfiction | 07.11.06 - 8:33 am | #

Gravatar How do you go to The Onion's website and NOT see that it's fake?
Brian | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:41 am | #

Gravatar Shut the f*ck up with your pro-life bullshit. While driving your car, you are using up God's sacred oil. Poluting the complete world. Religion is world's No.1 reason for war. So plz do what you like, but don't bother others!
lmg | 07.11.06 - 8:42 am | #

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA what a douchebag!
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 8:43 am | #

Gravatar Wow! Those blinders you're wearing must have a life-time warranty. Do they come with a "Get Out of Hell Free" card if I call within the next 30 minutes?

Maybe you should A) Actually do some research before writing an article B) Quit throwing stones at everyone who has a different opinion from you or C) All of the above.
Craig | 07.11.06 - 8:46 am | #

I'll pray for you, too.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 8:46 am | #

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
anonymous | 07.11.06 - 8:50 am | #

Gravatar I guess by now you know that you are a dumbass and should probablynot be spouting your ill-informed nonsense in public.

Anyone who is too blind to spot that the onion is satire is OBVIOUSLY to blind to have a measured opinion on important matters like abortion.
FiveRings | 07.11.06 - 8:53 am | #

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH

*ahem*


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

(the idiot...)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 8:53 am | #

Gravatar Dude, have you thought about running for president for 2008? The republicans haven’t named a candidate yet and it would be hard to find anyone outside of the current Oval Office capable of such embarrassing and mind-numbingly stupid mistakes.
Lung the Younger | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:55 am | #

..... Why do you even exist?
Kris | 07.11.06 - 8:58 am | #

Gravatar HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*points, laughs*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You want to be pro-life? Kill yourself! No, seriously, eat a bullet. You're too stupid for the genepool. You're a danger to humanity. Really. Darwinize yourself already. Just do it. It's for the greater good of humanity. This would be the greatest pro-life act you can ever take. Just do it.
anonymoose | 07.11.06 - 8:59 am | #

Umm, as people have told you already, the Onion is a satirical magazine. One does not take it seriously. Rather, it parodies the excesses of political discourse on both the right and the left (though admittedly more of the former). Please tell me that your blog is an answering humor piece, because if you took the original Onion piece seriously it betrays a serious lack of research and understanding.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 9:01 am | #

Enjoy your 15 minutes of stupidi... err "fame" on digg:
http://digg.com/offbeat_news/ Sat...officially_dead
Ryan | 07.11.06 - 9:04 am | #

Gravatar I guess this rebuke fck doesn't even know how to delete comments
yo | 07.11.06 - 9:10 am | #

Gravatar um... did you eat lead chips as a child?
Danny Lockard | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 9:12 am | #

Gravatar HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Marcelø | 07.11.06 - 9:14 am | #

Ok, here's the thing: You are wrong for citing an Onion article. I'm pretty sure you get that at this point. I don't agree with your opinions in general either, not a single one I'd imagine.

What matters is that the commenters are acting like children. It's not going to make us look better to wander around calling everyone on the right a moron, even if we happen to believe it. They call us godless heathens, we call them right wing zealots and nothing gets done.

Don't get me wrong, engaging in some sort of thoughful debate would be utterly pointless with you because, well, you'd get emotionally involved and not hear a word anyone else said and wind up just screaming.

I'm just saying, 100 people calling you a moron or derivative thereof isn't really going to help the matter.

I mean, come on. Fish. Barrel.
Don't Forget to Breathe | 07.11.06 - 9:20 am | #

thanks Pete! you made my day.
ted | 07.11.06 - 9:22 am | #

Gravatar That's hot.
Paris Hilton | 07.11.06 - 9:26 am | #

Gravatar After reading these comments, you must be embarassed, so I'm wondering... is the red on your face making your red state redder?
Notably Notable | 07.11.06 - 9:34 am | #

Gravatar i join the entire world in laughing at you and whatever argument you were trying to make.
theBLDMO | 07.11.06 - 9:39 am | #

Gravatar See kids, this is what happens when you have sex with yer cuzzin!

Moral of the story? Don't do it--think of the children!
no name required | 07.11.06 - 9:41 am | #

Gravatar Irrefutable proof that you need your brains vacuumed out to vote Republican--thanks Pete!
Vote GOP=Embolden Terrorism | 07.11.06 - 9:44 am | #

Get a sense of humor, dumbass.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 9:51 am | #

people like you become the leaders of fascist countries.
d | 07.11.06 - 9:53 am | #

Gravatar Hahahahah you're a fucking idiot.

OMG SAVE TEH UNWANTED BABIES
Jay Effex | 07.11.06 - 9:57 am | #

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*gasp*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Nice one! You don't look at all stupid.
nobody of import | 07.11.06 - 10:00 am | #

Gravatar You are getting royally - and fairly -- reamed for falling for this gag. The Onion staff high-five each other when someone takes one of their satires seriously.

If it's any consolation lefties get taken, too.

On the article itself, this isn't one of their better satires. Too meanspirited and crude in its approach to the abortion debate. Not funny at all.
Orion | 07.11.06 - 10:05 am | #

I'm pro-life and even *I* think you're an idiot.
Anon | 07.11.06 - 10:05 am | #

What a tard. I love that you took this seriously. It just shows your side to be the reactionary, humorless asses we all know you to be.

(Also a pastafarian here - can I get a RAmen from the congregation?)
klemptor | 07.11.06 - 10:06 am | #

Hilarious. This crap is now spreading through the 'internets' like wildfire.

You've made an ass of yourself, and I'd wager that at least a 100,000 people are aware of it already. Beautiful.

You fundamentalist Christianists are so ignorant, bitter and humourless you actually thought someone would say they were 'psyched' for an abortion. How fucking stupid can you be?

Oh my, I haven't laughed so loud since... well, I can't remember.
John B | 07.11.06 - 10:07 am | #

Gravatar Hey P E T E you're a goddamn M O R O N...or some derivative thereof...
George W. Bush | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:07 am | #

Pete, is it?

First, let me just say that you really are a gullable fool for believing the Onion.

Second, (assuming that Pete = male) what right do you have to say anything bad about abortion? You have a penis, not a uterus. When you are brutally raped someday and have to carry that monster's abomination around inside of you for 9 months, then we will talk about how abortion is the devil.

Please do me a favor and shut up.
Tired of All | 07.11.06 - 10:08 am | #

Gravatar What a knucklehead! What a moroon! What an IDJIT!
Shemp | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:10 am | #

I'm going to have to get pregnant so I can have an abortion in honor of this insane blog piece. Then I'll get my nails done and go shopping.
Stopper | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:12 am | #

Gravatar Somehow, I don't think the word 'gullible' quite covers your stupidity.

And you know, all this traffic and I don't think you've converted one person to the pro-life lobby..

I'd kill (in a pro-life friendly way of course), to get this amount of attention!
The little person laughing beh | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:17 am | #

Gravatar Most people who are absolutists are completely out of touch. You're certainly no exception, Petey. Get a clue. Better yet, get an abortion - they're fun!
Mike Hunt | 07.11.06 - 10:18 am | #

BWAHAHA!! You thinking that was a real article is so much funnier than the article!
thom | 07.11.06 - 10:26 am | #

Did you actually say you are going to pray for her to suffer? You are an evil bastard. Just like many Christians, you aren't christian at all.
Did you even read the Bible? Because you sure didn't learn anything from it.
youareevil | 07.11.06 - 10:27 am | #

Gravatar Yeah, sorry to say, but its been posted at the Anandtech Off Topic Forums... you are official humor bait now, they are relentless.
Dan | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:29 am | #

Good old Pete. Promiscuity is obviously OK within marriage for this bunch.

Keep on scraping the bottom of the brain barrel.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 10:30 am | #

Gravatar I was going to point out that The Onion is satire, and maybe have a quiet chuckle at your expense. But the sheer volume of people doing just that would make my effort seem rather gratuitous.

I can't decide which is sadder... that you took this seriously, or that your 'complete lack of a sense of humour' genetics is going to be passed on to your children, who likewise won't understand why they keep being sniggered at. Please - for the love of all that is good and sane in the world - don't procreate.
nonny mouse | 07.11.06 - 10:30 am | #

Gravatar you know what you got me lolin on the internet. QQ MORE IMO. the fact of the matter is lol.
jewhoo | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:33 am | #

Gravatar IT'S A TRAP click my homepage
jewhoo | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:34 am | #

Thanks Pete, this will keep me amused for the next year or so.
blogger | 07.11.06 - 10:34 am | #

Gravatar i love you. seriously. :*
alec | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:37 am | #

Gravatar Idiot. Obviously from the South?
Rob | 07.11.06 - 10:39 am | #

Perhaps this post is evidence enough of your talents that Our Leader will appoint you to a position on the Supreme Court.
urkel | 07.11.06 - 10:39 am | #

Oh! Thank Heaven for 7/12! Hmmm. Needs work.

I heartily second the comment above that you bookmark Fafblog and the good, gawdly Gin'rull J.C. Christian. I make the good Gin'rull part of my personal daily briefin'.

Here's another suggestion. How about you pickin' up where the person who ran Terri Schiavo's Blog left off? You've certainly got the brain activity of Miz Terri.

Now, let us all indulge our Inner Bill Murray lounge lizard singer:

Star Jones Wars.
Yeah, Star Jones Wars.
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
Star Jones Wars, yeah, baby...
An Enquiring Mind | 07.11.06 - 10:41 am | #

Gravatar I'm pro-choice.
God | 07.11.06 - 10:43 am | #

Gravatar Linking to an image hosted by another website is called bandwidth stealing. If you had downloaded it and saved it to your own server, then you would be violating copyright.

You have a right to an attorney.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 10:44 am | #

Proof of evolution, your parents had a Monkey.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 10:49 am | #

My entire office has this frikkin site up on their computers... GET BACK TO WORK YOU HALFWITS!!!

This is fucking hilarious. Pete, you definitely need to join forces with Kirk Cameron. He could give you a guest spot on his site.
4casey4 | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:51 am | #

Gravatar Seriously though - like, this does kind of totally undermine your ability to grasp difficult subjects. I wonder if you're gonna take a step back and rethink your political views, or whether you are gonna keep on truckin' - because like, you seem a bit of a busybody christian and you've kind of proved to yourself and everybody else that there's no real way of getting through to you. I hope you aren't in any position of authority or power... what am I saying, you're a blogger, of course you're not - hahaha
Justin Dowling | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:51 am | #

Doesn't "Caroline Weber" look familar? Some child actor for the 80s, perhaps?
An Enquiring Mind | 07.11.06 - 10:51 am | #

Well, first you're a class A moron for using the Onion as a reference. Second of all, what would you say to all the MARRIED woman out there who are in the same situation as our fictitious heroine? My husband and I don't want children ever. Would you tell us to stop having sex in case of conception -- which in intruder would be aborted faster than you can say "Pro-Life". Wait, no you said that all married couples are allowed to have sex (unless it's those nasty gays, I imagine). Not all abortions are requested by "promiscuous women" having sex out of wedlock. Quite the contrary, there's a new trend in married, middle age women who are either finished with having children, or didn't want any to begin with.

You know, I really don't understand people like you. You claim to be "Pro-Life", but still insist on a clump of cells being worth more than a woman who may suffer extreme psychological, physiological, and financial damage if forced to carry to term.
faelyn | 07.11.06 - 10:54 am | #

FUCK PRO LIFE THE AND THE CHRUCH, ABORTION AND SEX GOOD NOT FUCK U BITCH
FUCK YOU PRO-LIFE | 07.11.06 - 10:59 am | #

Gravatar wow NICE Work cheeze fuck your brain must be noodles (which i would love to eat). FRy dem noodles up and eat them out of your asshat... MMMMM that taistes BItchin
SUPER FOOL | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 11:00 am | #

God is just pretend! Human beings can do whatever they want to their bodies!

And the Onion is a "fake news" source. Good thing you quoted the article!

You've made a great impression on behalf of pro-lifers everywhere! THANK YOU! Now we know you're ALL retarted!
The Truth | 07.11.06 - 11:03 am | #

I've long wondered how pro-life people can be against Stem Cell Research, but after reading this I realize you're all just humorless idiots.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 11:06 am | #

Gravatar Holly Molly... This stupid Red-Stater doesn't know the Onion is fake does she?

See folks, this is what happens in Red-Topia when you push crap like "Intelligent Design" into schools. your kids are getting dumbereroreror
Porter | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 11:06 am | #

Gravatar I just wanted to participate in this special moment, when people from all over the internet came together and joyously mocked the blinkered oaf who wrote this.
I look forward in years to come to telling my children that, yes, I was there on THAT day. If I don't decide to abort them first, that is. Oh, and in the case of the first two the abortion will have to be retroactive.
Joe | 07.11.06 - 11:08 am | #

HAHAHAHAHA! Joke's on YOU! Oh my gosh! You took that article seriously!!!!!
Rita | 07.11.06 - 11:10 am | #

Cerebral paralysis.
Mental inertia.
May-blossom senility.
Can't be borne by the sane or civilized.
Blogger should be abused with a wet trout.

Administer an bazooka to your own straining wits, Pete. There's not an instant to spare.
Bosda Di'Chi | 07.11.06 - 11:12 am | #

...tard.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 11:17 am | #

Unbelieable.

To paraphrase Rick Cook: just when I thought I've seen the biggest idiot, the universe makes a better one.
Gil | 07.11.06 - 11:22 am | #

Gravatar *reads your blog*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*points at you*

YOU ARE SO STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPID
Sam | 07.11.06 - 11:24 am | #

OMG

The glory of the internet is that this can go all around the world. What does it feel like being so famous cos your so stupid?

This is already doing the rounds in the UK and it'll be heading elsewhere already.

In fact I'll be emailing this to a few people my self.

Glorious...
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 11:33 am | #

Gravatar oh what an ignorant cun7 you are
barbar | 07.11.06 - 11:34 am | #

haha, this post is priceless!
Pornlet. | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 11:35 am | #

Maybe concentrate on yer own issues, rather than scouring the net trying push your parent's morals onto others?
Anyhow, you get todays ass-hat award onion boy!
pro-FreedomToChoose | 07.11.06 - 11:38 am | #

Is this the place where we all come to point and laugh? Looks like it! Haha!
Curfew | 07.11.06 - 11:40 am | #

Pete:

Do you fall down a lot? Sometimes when you're standing still?

Congrats on making the del.icio.us popular list!
Andre | 07.11.06 - 11:41 am | #

Wow, still going. I pointed to this in my blog & mirrored your page to help out a little.
Folks, if you missed it, check out his follow-up post where he insists that it's not really satire but an actual reflection of the beliefs of pro-choicers written in a numorous fashion AND insists Ms. Weber is a real person.
storm78676, as for your comments, obviously you didn't READ that follow up post where he DEFENDS this one as valid and refuses to acknowledge his mistake. I doubt he has the capacity to achieve the kind of refined satire you accuse him of.
james_the_evil1 | 07.11.06 - 11:41 am | #

Please, Pete, do the world a favor.

Stop what you're doing right now, and kill yourself. I urge you. I beg you. Please rid the world of your presence.

Do it for all of us. Do it for your children!
Wow | 07.11.06 - 11:41 am | #

Aw don't be so mean to poor Pete. Remember - if we lived in an earlier age his inept children would have been killed once they were born by a wooly mammoth or a ship wreck, rather than being supported by our liberal social programs.
borderlineJenn | 07.11.06 - 11:44 am | #

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA.






Idiot.
Tiq | 07.11.06 - 11:45 am | #

Gravatar Time to upgrade the site-meter, dude.

The free version only tracks the most recent 100 visits on the worldwide map, while for just a few dollars you can see where the last 4000 have come from.

That 100 visit figure works out to the last few minutes! (And the 4000 is just a few hours' worth.) Upgrade NOW!

(signed) marc - from Australia

..
Marc Buhler | 07.11.06 - 11:47 am | #

Gravatar best blog ever.
Deeky | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 11:49 am | #

Gravatar You BELIEVED an article published by the most FAMOUS FICTITIOUS HUMOR MAGAZINE in the WORLD!?!?

I guess you must've been confused about the headline Life Jackets Issued to All Americans for Some Reason since you didn't get one. And that interview with Jesus Christ in 1999, talking about his upcoming 2000th birthday must've BLOWN YOUR MIND. And Howard Stern Organizes Women's Health Clinic must have been a real surprise!

I'm saving this blog post forever. Thank God for Archive.org.
cammila | 07.11.06 - 11:49 am | #

do you know what satire is? If you take the Onion serious, i wonder what extremes you are willing to go.
sean | 07.11.06 - 11:51 am | #

lol you fail at internet
internet | 07.11.06 - 11:52 am | #

Cockgobbler.
Cubu Ashiru | 07.11.06 - 11:53 am | #

What an IDIOT to take an Onion article seriously! Guess what? National Lampoon's: Vacation was NOT a documentary!!! Sorry, to burst your bubble.

In the words of Carlos Mencia....

"DE-DE-DEE!!!!"
ManicNole | 07.11.06 - 11:54 am | #

Haaaahahahaaa you're so dumb!
James | 07.11.06 - 11:59 am | #

Posting a comment here is a futile effort - how can I possibly believe someone who is capable of perceiving The Onion as a legitimate source has the ability of actually reading comments?

In case you make it this far Pete - you should know that the continuation of your right-wing rants and fallacious arguments will bring no peace to the world. Perhaps if you spent a little more time promoting legitimate forms of birth control and less time planning to bomb Planned Parenthood clinics you might get somewhere.

In case you are curious, when China starting paying for birth control measures (both surgical and non-surgical methods) their abortion rate dropped through the floor. Maybe they are on to something huh Pete?

Nawww....those commie bastards are just interested in killing babies for the fun of it, changing the poles of the moral compass, and stealing jobs from our Confederate flag waving, NASCAR watching, trailer home living, Camaro driving, welfare receiving citizens dammit!

Keep fighting the good fight Pete. Luckily for me I take solace in the fact that no woman would ever sleep with you without an unfortunate dosage of ether and a dirty sweat sock, thus the chances of you impregnating anyone is non-existent. However, every time you fap to the underwear section of the JCPenny's catalog you are killing millions of sperm. You are a murderer sir - and you will pay for your deeds one day.
CosM | 07.11.06 - 12:00 pm | #

When Pro-lifers have their way and abortions are illegal, the only way a woman can get an abortion is illegally. And of course that is going to be dangerous and she may die. Then their victory would be a death, and they call themselves Pro-life.

Huh?

Stupid, just like this jerk.
Lyppy | 07.11.06 - 12:04 pm | #

Just goes to show you what type of simpleton is pro-life attracts. I'm afraid Pete has a tiny tiny penis and is not "pro-life" but "anti-sex". That's why he feels the need to strict sexual partners. Who knows, if dozens of women hadn't laugh at his lack of manhood, he might be a decent person. So next time he whips out shorty, girls, please stop giggling.
Ha Ha | 07.11.06 - 12:05 pm | #

Just reading through the various comments on this post is highly entertaining. My personal fave:

"I'm pro life, but sweet Jesus you're an idiot. For your next post, how about a passionate speech on the need to immediately free Prince Albert from the can?"

ROTFLMAO x 15!
Quiplash | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 12:05 pm | #

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

*breathes*

...AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

you fricking muppet
The TailGunner | 07.11.06 - 12:05 pm | #

Gravatar Ummmm... yeah. Okay. Now tell us about how you heard Bat Boy was caught in a butterfly net, doused with ether until dead, and pinned to a cork board and put on display in the Albuquerque Public Library.
Desertphile | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 12:06 pm | #

Death by Onion!!!
!! | 07.11.06 - 12:09 pm | #

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

I laugh harder every time I read this.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!1!!1oneoneone

You fail at life!
Reverend J | 07.11.06 - 12:11 pm | #

Gravatar Dumbass
the man | 07.11.06 - 12:11 pm | #

Gravatar You guys all got trolled, bigtime. Sad.
Trollmaster 7000 | 07.11.06 - 12:13 pm | #

Fucktard.
Phil McGap | 07.11.06 - 12:14 pm | #

Ummmm...

You were home-schooled weren't you?
marceline | 07.11.06 - 12:16 pm | #

Guys, Pete is satirising the satire. There is no way there is someone that stupid, just look at some of the things they say, even the stupidest of people wouldn't say what he says and mean it.
Jenny | 07.11.06 - 12:18 pm | #

You are such a moron. Only someone that believes that abortion is murder would take an Onion article seriously.
Matt | 07.11.06 - 12:24 pm | #

The Electronic Liberation Front invites you to join the Avocado Ribbon Campaign to end stupidity on the Internet.

The ELF is attempting to protect the resources of the Internet for the intelligent, by isolating the net from the stupid. To this end we have lobbied extensively for the permanent removal from the Internet of those persons with an IQ of less than 120. We are also endeavoring to restrict the legislation and regulation of the internet by the stupid.

We look forward to a day when the stupid will not even be aware of the Internet, and they will be able to safely watch Alice reruns on the Superstation while we, the intelligent and wise, post anonymous messages in usenet forums and engage in other activities that stupid people have time and again shown they cannot comprehend.


Avocado Campaign Advocate | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 12:26 pm | #

Gravatar AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

You are really dumb.
salvage | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 12:28 pm | #

Yutz.... giant fucking yutz.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 12:31 pm | #

"it's not the HMO's fault for not supporting your promiscuity while not married."

Boy Pete .. you just can't get laid huh? and need to punish anyone that can.. sad jealous little man.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 12:34 pm | #

Seriously, you are a moron.
Dr. Saius | 07.11.06 - 12:36 pm | #

i guess people who believe Fox News is "fair and balanced" will believe anything!
mrsbutterworth | 07.11.06 - 12:42 pm | #

Gravatar Just amazing. Do you have any idea what the Onion is? It is a satire mag. The articles are not real. Wake up in there. So you missed the whole point of the article which is that no one goes out of the way to get pregnant so they can have an abortion. And also that it is some of the same so called pro-life doctrines that cause woman to experience unwanted pregnancy in the first place.
susan | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 12:48 pm | #

In the immortal words of Rachel Green, "No uterus, no opinion."
woman | 07.11.06 - 12:49 pm | #

Dee Dee! I haff fiiiiiiinaly found someone dumber THAN YOU! Read his blog: He is so STEWWWWWWWWWWPID!
Dexter | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 12:51 pm | #

Gravatar Peter,

Hopefully, this experience has taught you to CLOSELY examine your beliefs. This is a simple world made complicated by people who behave just as you did; speaking before thinking first.

I encourage you to expore all religions of the world. That way, you will know WHY you believe certain things. Your behavior indicates a past full of actions taken based solely on your upbringing -- not on what YOU have decided to be true.

Many times you will find yourself wanting to evade the hard questions. But in order to wake up; you must first realize that you have to let go of your own past mistakes and FORGIVE yourself.

I wish you Bright Blessings of the highest love.
colleen pridemore | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 12:51 pm | #

Gravatar You know what the scary thing is?

The USA is full of fuckwits like this.

Many of them have guns.

And all of them can vote.

(shudders)
Shaper | 07.11.06 - 12:52 pm | #

Gravatar Ha! And: Thank You!
Assuming your response to the Onion piece is not a put-on: hilarious, but so valuable!

Thank you for becoming a poster child for the lack of reasoning ability so common in the anti-choice movement. I've heard of people in other countries not understanding what The Onion is, but you apppparently are a _Native English Speaker_!

To miss the satire is amazing: striking since your writing ability being at least high school level, but there is a second-grader quality to your world view and ability to process and dissect ideas.

Note, for instance, that the article is self-consistent in orginal form (the Carolone Weber character hapily anticipates the prospect of abortion), but your interepertation did not have self-consistency criteria applied. In your interpretation you have Carolone Weber 'blame' her HMO for her pregnancy. Incorrect, she thanks them, since lack of oral contraceptive allowed the abortion, for which she is 'totally psyched'. You have "Weber" both celebrating abortion and blaming someone for it -- an inconistency you'd need to point out, especially in a piece attacking "her" judgement.

This lack of flexibility in thought and identification of the reasoning of others is characteristic of the still-forming minds of young children. Please consult at the nearest University teaching hospital about this, there may be a treatable organic etiology to what appears to medium developmental disability. My congrautulation on high functioning in other areas (assumedly obtaining a computer account, mastering typing, etc.) but please get that consulation -- and assoicated cognitive, functional, and motor testing --as soon as possible. The current disabilities may be important warning signs of very serious conditions.

You have helped choice enormously. Thank you! (And please look after your health as suggested above.)
non-med | 07.11.06 - 12:53 pm | #

Hahahaha you dumb bitch.
irn | 07.11.06 - 12:58 pm | #

so harsh a criticism on a humorous mistake...you all must be perfect.
munkey906 | 07.11.06 - 12:59 pm | #

Gravatar You are unbelievable. Nothing you say should be taken seriously because you fail to fully investigate the source you're lambasting! Shame on you.
Tony | 07.11.06 - 1:00 pm | #

If a fake artcicle bothers you, then I'm giving discount abortions and assisted-suicides this week only, just for the writer of this blog
Uncle Jimbo | 07.11.06 - 1:00 pm | #

Gravatar idiot
Pete, you are a retard | 07.11.06 - 1:01 pm | #

Gravatar Sarcasm is one of many words in the dictionary. Please, please, do everybody a favor and look it up sometime so you don't get your panties all in a wad over something so clearly sarcastic. Geez, if the law said you had to get an abortion, I could understand you being all riled up, but it clearly doesn't. Don't like abortion? Don't get one! See how easy that is?
jim lovell | 07.11.06 - 1:02 pm | #

Gravatar This is my new favorite bleg on the internets.

It is parody of wingtards, right?

Right?
Sherman | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 1:04 pm | #

Satire?
Laurie | 07.11.06 - 1:06 pm | #

You...thought... the Onion was.. serious?
Damn, lady. Get a brain.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 1:09 pm | #

Maybe as we approach the 300th comment to your reaction to a news article on the onion, with every single post harolding what a complete moron you are, you're questioning whether there's a god or not for having created such an enourmous waste of time like yourself.
Nick | 07.11.06 - 1:09 pm | #

Gravatar What they said up there.
Jerry | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 1:12 pm | #

Gravatar You am space peopel.
you are retarded | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 1:14 pm | #

Wow, I knew right wingers were incapable of indipendant thought but... wow just wow.
FatherJack | 07.11.06 - 1:15 pm | #

YES!
As if your clueless rant wasn't entertaining enough, these are some of the best comments I've ever read.
Thanks for being a fucking idiot!
SS | 07.11.06 - 1:16 pm | #

Gravatar No need to reiterate the specifics of your imbecilic literalism and utter lack of reading comprehension, so I shall simply add that YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT!
By the way, have you seen Stephen Hawkings' robotic exoskeleton? It's hot. And real. Really.
J | 07.11.06 - 1:18 pm | #

it's fuckw*ts like pete who are sending the US down the sh*tter. is it any surprise people in other countries mock and scorn us?
pete: you shame this nation.
mrsbutterworth | 07.11.06 - 1:24 pm | #

Gravatar Just remember everyone--"Pete" is only one of at least 23% of the US population proven to be just this batshit fucking stupid (if not moreso).

And they always vote Republican.
omigod | 07.11.06 - 1:24 pm | #

Gravatar you are a retarded douchebag.
die | 07.11.06 - 1:27 pm | #

Yeah, and all sorts of other outrageous stuff is going on in the world. Like, did you hear that Congress is going to move to another city if Washington DC doesn't build them a new retractable Capitol dome? That was in the Onion, too.
Steve | 07.11.06 - 1:27 pm | #

Can someone explain the logic of telling Pete to kill himself? The amount of violence and hostility is baffling.

If you all are as you say pro-choice why can not Pete's ideas be another choice?

What is wrong with people in a community coming together to buy a property to remove the business from their neighborhood? If people wanted to say get rid off an industrial plant you all would want what? Of course, legislative action but here we have people through civil action removing an offending structure (instead of government) and you all can not stand that. You are afraid just maybe the majority of Americans are not for unrestricted access to abortion. By the way, neither was the Supreme Court in Roe v. Wade. Pete publish the decision for the lemmings.

What is next, government mandated offices for abortion?


This author created a post that's all and yet all respond like he is the new Hitler.

Wow
storm78676 | 07.11.06 - 1:30 pm | #

Gravatar Why are you blogging when you should be marching on your local abortion clinic? Babies are dying while you are typing, you godless heathen!!
nikolai | 07.11.06 - 1:31 pm | #

Gravatar HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!
M. @ Connexion Bizarre | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 1:34 pm | #

Gravatar "We're goin to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo

Goin to the Zoo all day"

from a children's (!!) song by Pete Seeger
johnieb | 07.11.06 - 1:35 pm | #

How stupid are you Pete? Seriously? You took the bait: hook, line, & sinker.

I LOVE The Onion, it's hilarious.
Faithful Onion Reader & Believ | 07.11.06 - 1:37 pm | #

Please tell me you are Andy Kaufmann
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 1:37 pm | #

dumber than advertised!
ha-hah! | 07.11.06 - 1:37 pm | #

Gravatar HAHHAHAHA, this is why dumb fucks like you should not be alowed close to a PC,
another dumb Pro Life guy shows the world what a turd he is!
VeNT | 07.11.06 - 1:39 pm | #

I'm not pro-life, I'm pro-afterlife. Letting an innocent baby be born is the most heinous sin imaginable because then that baby is at risk of learning about the Word of God and becoming morally responsible for their inevitable sins. An abortion is a free pass to heaven. Aborting a baby is the greatest favor one can do because it guarantees that baby's soul will never have to face the torments of hell. The fact that abortion is a sin makes it all that much more noble. What greater altruism could there possibly be than to risk hell yourself in order to save someone else from it?
Anonymous coward | 07.11.06 - 1:40 pm | #

Gravatar Holy Fucking Shit!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just goes to show....Christians be dumb.

Long live The Onion!
Todd Fucking Bernier | 07.11.06 - 1:41 pm | #

My goodness you are an idiot.

Thank you for taking the time to expose this now blindingly obvious fact, and therefore removing any chance that anyone will ever listen to you without laughing again.

Good job!
Kitlizzy | 07.11.06 - 1:41 pm | #

Next up: Pete publishes an impassioned plea to Sylvester, asking him to stop harrassing poor Tweety.
Louis | 07.11.06 - 1:43 pm | #

Gravatar Dear Sir:
I agree with your stance on abortion. As a Christian you must realize that the end of days is upon us, and your savior is due at any time.

As a member of the Church of Satan I know that anti-Christ likewise is due at any time and an abortion could stop his rise to power.

The Onion is obviously not aware of how sensitive this is to both of us and we must work together to stop abortion so that the battle against your lord and my lord will happen and the end of days will begin.

Tickets for the final battle will be available through Ticket Master.

May the rapture get you and your kind off the planet ASAP!

Sincerely yours,
Lou
Lou | 07.11.06 - 1:47 pm | #

We all laugh at this fool...

But I hope we all vote to keep this kind of neo nazie away from the law books.
Get these people out of power | 07.11.06 - 1:49 pm | #

Hahahahahahaha!!! How can you be so ignorant????? Don't you know what kind of newspaper The Onion is???? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! And he took it so damn seriously... hahahahahaha ....ahhh... this happens when you are stubborn... I guess I don't know... hahahahaha
Bruce | 07.11.06 - 1:49 pm | #

Gravatar RAmen!
Vivek | 07.11.06 - 1:54 pm | #

Gravatar "Your'e making baby Jesus cry!"
Wife Swap | 07.11.06 - 1:57 pm | #

Gravatar Jesus loves you for making him laugh.
Uccellina | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 1:59 pm | #

Yes, the person writing this blog is too ignorant to understand The Onion.

And, you're probably Pro-War, Pro-Death Penalty, and a MEAT EATER. Pro-Life, my ass.
jamie | 07.11.06 - 2:00 pm | #

Okay, People -- I'm so happy to see all these comments, but can I just say this: if you can take the time to mock, you can take the time to vote.

Please remember people -- asshats like this guy Pete DO VOTE.

All of us need to remember this on the next election day. Whether it's a local, state or federal election, we need to turn out and actually stand behind our beliefs.

Guys like Pete are responsible for getting Bush...er, I mean Cheney and Addington (if you don't know who I mean check out the July 3rd New Yorker) into the White House.

Pete's stupidity coupled with his idealism make him a dangerous man. I can only take solace in the fact he's a laughingstock for so long. So please...

PLEASE people...read credible news sources and VOTE. Every chance you get.
reality check | 07.11.06 - 2:01 pm | #

Gravatar While other people find you funny I find you vile and disgusting and your existence reprehensible. If murder wasn't illegal I would track you down, rip your eyes out and skull fuck you to death but only after you eat the peanuts out of my shit. Half wits like you that try to impose their will on other people should be bound, gagged and sodomized with a cheese grater until you slowly bleed to death and die.
Tom Tuttle | 07.11.06 - 2:04 pm | #

Gravatar WOW, hope you feel good after ranting and having half the site's attendace laugh at you. not with you like u hope... At you.
Joe | 07.11.06 - 2:06 pm | #

Gravatar The first time I saw The Onion, as a freshman at UW-Madison, the headline was "Great Macaroni and Cheese Bakeoff". I thought, man these people in Wisconsin love their cheese! The next week, the headline was "FLYING MONKEYS SEEN AROUND CAPITOL DOME" (with a photo).

It's no surprise to me that nutjobs like this person can't tell the difference between FLYING MONKEYS and REALITY.

Flying monkeys were responsible for 9/11. We must kill the flying monkeys!! Also, they're spilling across the borders and taking our jarbs. Not to mention threatening our marriages, but that's just the gay ones.
Tim | 07.11.06 - 2:06 pm | #

Gravatar yeah, i agree with tom too!
Joe | 07.11.06 - 2:06 pm | #

Another example of the uninformed spouting their ignorance about things of which they know nothing. What do you expect from folks that think that a talking snake that tricked someone into eating fruit caused the world's problems? Or that an old man gathered 7 of all clean animals and 2 of every unclean onto a single boat? These people need to realise that if they want to believe in fairy tales, that's fine.. just don't bring that primitive, ignorant, superstitious claptrap and hogwash into our government and laws.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 2:07 pm | #

I think this is a ruse and the one who is laughing is the person who created this blog.
Daniel | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 2:11 pm | #

sorry that you're too ignorant to do a little research before standing on your right-winged, christian, pro-life, pro-war, pro-guns, pro-death penalty box....get a fucking grip.

may b-smooove sex you wild.
jeloise | 07.11.06 - 2:12 pm | #

Gravatar These fundies are just too funny. In an unfortunate pathetic sense.
Richard Edwards | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 2:18 pm | #

IF YOU CAN'T TRUST ME WITH A CHOICE, HOW CAN YOU TRUST ME WITH A CHILD?
One thing's for sure: I can't trust pro-lifers to distinguish satire from real journalism. Listen, pro-lifers: just because you don't have fulfilling sex lives doesn't mean you should lash out at everyone else who does. Envy is a sin, so is judgement of others.
thebible | 07.11.06 - 2:20 pm | #

Gravatar HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

You have no sense of humor, you crazy fool.
PanzerDSS | 07.11.06 - 2:21 pm | #

Gravatar i just wanted to say that caroline weber is hawt and can abort my baby whenever she wants.

that is all.
just passing through | 07.11.06 - 2:24 pm | #

Gravatar Stupid asses dont even know what the Onion is. Its fake news dumbfuck.
Your a dumb bitch | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 2:24 pm | #

Oh boy, great move, your site probably never saw as much traffic as from this humor piece of yours.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 2:25 pm | #

Gravatar I cna't beleive people like Lou are aloud to post hear!
Lou's buddy | 07.11.06 - 2:25 pm | #

Hi Pete,

It must feel nice to know that everyone hates you.

Assheaded-ness like yours is holding back evolution (yup, evolution).

You're also a hypocrite, and a disgrace to the human race.

Get a fucking clue.
Stookie | 07.11.06 - 2:25 pm | #

And you do not even close down the comments..., probably you have no idea how...

You are a complete moron

While breathing, remember: in...out...in...
Dolph | 07.11.06 - 2:29 pm | #

Gravatar Here's some other fiction to make you lose your shit :

http://www.filthylies.net/d/2005...d/ 20050608.html

Enjoy!
enigma | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 2:33 pm | #

Ok so this is a for real rant of a Bullshit article. Next time condemn SOuth Park like its occuring in the real world. Jeebus there really is no hope for the world.
JDub | 07.11.06 - 2:37 pm | #

You mean you didn't realise this isn't supposed to be taken seriously?

*points and laughs*
$loth | 07.11.06 - 2:38 pm | #

You fucktard.
Jon | 07.11.06 - 2:41 pm | #

very good work! I hope everyone in the world reads your piece and sees your point. Which is, that you lack basic comprehension.
a | 07.11.06 - 2:42 pm | #

A+ Commentary.
I'm glad you responded to this article from the Onion.
It just shows your complete and total igorance.
likwid | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 2:44 pm | #

You are a silly, silly man.
Rob | 07.11.06 - 2:46 pm | #

HI!

IF YOU FOUND THIS KOOK FUNNY, YOU SHOULD BUY JERKBEAST!

www.jerkbeast.co.uk

It's funnier than many abortions!
BUY JERKBEAST! | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 2:48 pm | #

Okay, I'm seriously laughing out loud here. Thanks for this.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 2:49 pm | #

Gravatar If you don't believe in abortion, for the love of God, please don't reproduce. You really shouldn't curse a future generation with your fucktard genes.
Mike McNamara | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 2:49 pm | #

FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD! FUCKTARD!
The Dirty Vicar | 07.11.06 - 2:52 pm | #

Gravatar well i can't say i'm surprised you believed the article as real... i suppose you believe the bible is true as well? people like you shouldn't be allowed to vote
anonymous | 07.11.06 - 2:53 pm | #

I'm more shocked at home many of the respondants here are straight out of the gate with the four-letter variety of comment.

I ask what's wrong with THEM? The author didn't realize what was going on, but they most certainly do.

Nice manners, people.
Dan | 07.11.06 - 2:54 pm | #

Commas and periods go inside quotes, you moron. Learn to punctuate.
Furfey the Duck from Colorado | 07.11.06 - 2:55 pm | #

Dear Pete,
Were you aborted? I sthat why you hate abortion?
- Ali G
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 2:55 pm | #

Gravatar You have got to be the stupidest person in the solar system...
Cory Boston | 07.11.06 - 2:56 pm | #

Is The Onion still up and running? I thought that site shut down in 2002. Someone inform me if I'm wrong.
Mike | 07.11.06 - 3:00 pm | #

Question: how do you dress yourself in the morning?
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 3:02 pm | #

Wait unitl this guy see a few episodes of the Daily Show or Colbert Report. His head is going to implode!
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 3:02 pm | #

Dan

People are voicing anger and angry humor in many different ways and for a variety of reasons. I can only guess that a majority of them are doing so because shit like this makes this country look even worse to the rest of the world. A strong majority of the people here in the US (regardless of party affiliation) like to pretend this extreme part of our society doesn't exist...And besides, who doesn't like to rip into the occasional 'dog barking at traffic' mad religious fool every now and again.

4casey4
4casey4 | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 3:03 pm | #

Blogging Without A Brain

It appears that the internet at large has discovered the first person without a brain to be writing a blog. Technically Pete has a brain, but it stopped growing when he was a fetus of only eight weeks, so medically and legally, he has no brain to speak of.

When asked to explain how he was able to achieve such a feat, Pete replied "Ramen. Ramen." His mother/sister explained that "Ramen" was the only word that Pete was able to speak, but that she always knew he would one day enter the blogosphere.

And so the dreams of brainless Pete and his mother/sister have come true as he spreads his ignorance through the blogosphere to try to find someone else that's as stupid as he is.
onewise1 | 07.11.06 - 3:04 pm | #

Mike: If you go into the Local, Sports, etc links on the left, you'll see new articles there.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 3:04 pm | #

Gravatar a woman tells you she would consider it 'okay' if she were raped and murdered, and you took her seriously?

why, because she could keep a straight face while talking to you?

like I am now?

*cracks*

BWAHAHAHAHA!! omg this is too funny.

*gasps for air*

thanks, the 'decadent liberal left' needs supporters like you.
sara | 07.11.06 - 3:06 pm | #

actually this doesn't suprise me; coming from the pro-life crowd. Let me guess, your anti-science as well?

Its a shame you self-righteous idiots are running the country at the moment.
druski | 07.11.06 - 3:10 pm | #

wow. 361 comments on how much of a mistake you made and still you don't take the comments down. lol I think the commments are even better than the article.
haha | 07.11.06 - 3:13 pm | #

Gravatar Check out this great article about the Fall! here!
ih8abortions | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 3:17 pm | #

What about those of us who are married, yet don't want children? Are we considered "promiscuous" too?
Carol | 07.11.06 - 3:18 pm | #

Gravatar Dear anti-abortion people.

Let other people get on with their life and stop trying to control them. We don't life in a facist state, after all, although sometimes I have to think twice about that, and it's usually because of people like you.

Why must you always have a problem with what other people want to do? You have your beliefs, and they have theirs. You follow yours, and they will follow theirs.

Stop trying to enforce your opinions on someone else, it's just pathetic.

Thank you for your time.
Navid Nabijou | 07.11.06 - 3:21 pm | #

Jesus thinks you are an idiot.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 3:21 pm | #

"We call, email and/or march to let our representatives know that we will not stop until they stop the killing of innocent human beings"

YEAH! lets stop the war in Iraq and government exectutions!!

oh wait we're only saving the lives of those that arent actually alive and walking around yet. sorry - wrong blog
vpot pusha | 07.11.06 - 3:22 pm | #

I don't believe everything I read. On the Onion nor on your blog.
Eeldude | 07.11.06 - 3:23 pm | #

Gravatar Eat Fresh America
j.fogle-cloonicles | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 3:24 pm | #

we need more prolifers like you..stupid retard.
mattbastard | 07.11.06 - 3:26 pm | #

Gravatar I... Love you.
dj | 07.11.06 - 3:27 pm | #

Gravatar This blog made me think about

SNAKES ON A PLANE!

l0ll3rcaust
Sam U. El-Jackson | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 3:27 pm | #

Gravatar Dude, it's satire. You know, like a joke.
Nikita | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 3:27 pm | #

Gravatar HAHAHAHAHA Pete you are a total moron! Right now you are the laughing stock on several forums. I really hope one day you do get a clue.
Ted Griffin | 07.11.06 - 3:28 pm | #

"Every baby you see from that moment on is going to wake you up to the realization that you killed your child."

I've had two abortions, both were excellent choices for my life, which I have never regretted. I made the right choice for myself, and the women I see with babies made the right choices for themselves. There is nothing about seeing a baby that makes me feel ashamed or guilty, because I have never harmed a baby. I removed fetuses from my uterus prior to the quickening, and I don't equate that with the murder of a baby.

I hope that every woman you see from now on makes you feel the guilt and shame of your efforts to try and control what goes in and out of their vaginas. Shame on you for wishing to force women to go through childbirth as punishment for "promiscuity." I wish their was the equivalent danger for you to go through as a result of sex, but there's not. Not to mention the fact that you've probably got a snowball's chance in hell of ever getting laid by a woman. It's not like you have time to go a-courting when your Saturdays are spent screaming at medical patients.
You Can't Force Something Thro | 07.11.06 - 3:29 pm | #

"We call, email and/or march to let our representatives know that we will not stop until they stop the killing of innocent human beings"... unless they are muslim and/or brown.

what an a$$hat )
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 3:29 pm | #

storm78676, are you married to this charmer? That's the only way I could imagine someone defending him. Typical righty, though. "No, he MEANT to not get that the Onion is a humor mag. Then he could prove that you're not not able to get a joke! PS: you are Godless Hypocrits(tm)."
Andre | 07.11.06 - 3:29 pm | #

You made Jesus cry....
tears of laughter.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 3:30 pm | #

Gravatar Jesus now wishes your mom had had an abortion. The governor of your state blames you for lowering the statewide IQ level. TBL regrets inventing the WWW and giving people like you a mouthpiece. The staff of the Onion is ROFL at your expense. Well done, sir.
ohman | 07.11.06 - 3:30 pm | #

Gravatar um.... look pal. i don't do this very often. but i told tipton, i told hinn & now i telling you. leave me out of this.

thanks,

JC
Jesus Christ | 07.11.06 - 3:33 pm | #

Gravatar Yo evvybody buy the new HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS
Tony V | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 3:36 pm | #

y bro, united you fall. divided we laugh.
jd | 07.11.06 - 3:37 pm | #

kudos to you sir. not many people would have the bravery to speak out against The Onion and the hatred it embodies.

for your next topic, please speak against Kevin Spacey. That guy is a total asshole. I just saw a documentary where he was trying to take over the world by dropping some crystals in the ocean and creating a new world that he could then occupy all by himself. Billions of living humans could have died as a result of his very selfish actions, and that is not very Christian.
christian carl | 07.11.06 - 3:40 pm | #

to add to the great people who have gone before me on theses comments. You are a dumb fuck. The onion is purely satire nothing more
austin | 07.11.06 - 3:46 pm | #

Moron.

I respect your beliefs and all, but hate to break it to ya, the Onion is a bullshit paper.
I have one thing to say... | 07.11.06 - 3:47 pm | #

Gravatar Aww, sheeit, i done knew some foo done ate up my crack. Why you eat my crack Pete? Now you done did make an ass out yerself.
Crackhed | 07.11.06 - 3:49 pm | #

Wow, I mean Wow.

I bet you really dig NASCAR
I always wondered what kind of person considered a bunch of cars driving in a circle 500 times entertaining.

I now have my anwser.
Thank You
and may you invisible superman that lives in the sky and counts how many times I masterbate have mercy on you.
Schmunky | 07.11.06 - 3:50 pm | #

Pete, I want to have your baby, so I can abort it and hand you the fetus.
The Virgin Mary | 07.11.06 - 3:51 pm | #

You are a certifiable idiot. The Onion is a satirical newspaper-- oh wait- I am sorry- is that word too big for your stunted vocabulary? It means it was not real.
Lame ass..
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 3:51 pm | #

It's not your fault or her HMO's fault that she got pregnant: It's MY fault. (I got her pregnant by putting my penis inside her vagina and then ejaculating semen into her, which contains the sperm that unite with her egg, thus fertilizing it and "conceiving" a child.)
Schmackity Schmoo | 07.11.06 - 3:51 pm | #

Gravatar o_O

I think there's a problem with your brain being missing.
deviousmonkey | 07.11.06 - 3:52 pm | #

Gravatar VOTE PETE FOR CONGRESS!!!
Crackhed | 07.11.06 - 3:52 pm | #

Gravatar Zealots + internet = bad news
Jeebuz | 07.11.06 - 3:53 pm | #

Gravatar LOL. You're a fucking moron.
EJ | 07.11.06 - 3:53 pm | #

Pete...

You "Know nothing about real life" gullible, moron. You are a shining example of why the the pro-life movement has no real voice. They live in the same obscure reality as you.
De_Bunk | 07.11.06 - 3:54 pm | #

Gravatar I forgive you for the sin of ignorance my child. Ignorance of the Onion's satirical nature, and ignorance of My satirical nature.

If you actually read and understood Any of my teachings, you'd know that I don't want you or anyone to try and impose their will, beliefs, or morals on anyone else...no matter how righteous the cause.

Just turn the other cheek. If you don't want an abortion, then don't have one!

Yours in Me,
J.Christ
Joshua Nazareth | 07.11.06 - 3:56 pm | #

ygUDuh

ydoan
yunnuhstan

ydoan o
yunnuhstan dem
yguduh ged

yunnuhstan dem doide
yguduh ged riduh
ydoan o nudn
LISN bud LISN

dem
gud
am

lidl yelluh bas
turds weer goin

duhSIVILEYEzum
ee cummings | 07.11.06 - 3:57 pm | #

Gravatar You should really delete this entry, it's pretty embarassing that you didn't realize that The Onion is a joke newspaper. All the stories/articles/etc are fake.
Jason Pratt | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 4:00 pm | #

People like you are the reason I'm pro-choice.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 4:01 pm | #

Gravatar McRib is back...


I mean BK Stackkerz!!!
The Burger King (Dan Cortes) | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 4:04 pm | #

Gravatar Give me the gold!


Leprechaun news story! seen it??
Lepro-chaun | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 4:05 pm | #

Sadly, you are probably self-righteously indignant to our crass heathen reactions to your mind-numbingly blind judgement...

Don't take your post down--traffic to your blog will slow immensely.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 4:09 pm | #

I am so excited about penetration. I engage in penetration at least six times a day. And I love to swallow cum. I hope to get pregnant in my throat, and I will throw a party after I have the first oral abortion.
observer | 07.11.06 - 4:09 pm | #

ps: the onion is satire
PROUDMOONBAT | 07.11.06 - 4:10 pm | #

Please don't have children.
Anonymous | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 4:11 pm | #

Gravatar srsly tho this chick is hottt she on myspace?
idhitit | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 4:11 pm | #

Gravatar Uhh...will you please go back to your corner and eat some paste before you hurt yourself.
Special Ed Teacher | 07.11.06 - 4:13 pm | #

Sooooooo glad dozens of other people explained The Onion to this guy so I don't have to it.
TxLegeBoy | 07.11.06 - 4:17 pm | #

uh, that fact that you're a complete moron aside...I have to say that one thing in your blog that is consistently wrong terminology is your insistence on using the terms pro-life and pro-abortion. This isn't an "equal" debate. Choice is THE LAW. No Choice is NOT the law. Why don't you idiots call yourselves:

anti-law

and call us:

pro-law

Crazies!
Concerned Grammarian | 07.11.06 - 4:17 pm | #

One time, I like went to the shop to buy some candy, right, and this dude like totally tried to rob me. Which was funny cos he said his name was Rob.

I lolled at that.

Then, I gave him my wallet, I kung fu'd the gun out of his hand, kicked him in the back of the knee, punched him full force in the throat, and discharged a round into his chest.

But then I noticed.

He was a she.

The breasts flew and seperated at a right angle. The bullet, due to the 'gangster' fashion in which I had been holding the gun, travelled straight downwards tearing through the *womans* body.

A baby began to cry.

Then the crying stopped.

And that's how I became an abortion doctor! I know have a clinic in Boston MA.

Look me up!
oddo | 07.11.06 - 4:19 pm | #

Oh my sweet merciful god. Get out of my gene pool.
The Onyx | 07.11.06 - 4:20 pm | #

Gravatar LOL
you quoted the onion like it was fact.
were you also the one who booked steven Colbert as teh speaker at the white house press dinner?

Why does it seem that more and more right-wingers have no sense of satire? is it because comedians have taken R. wing opinions and turned them into jokes ?
do you ever find yourself in a room where everybody is laughing except you?
your in one now!
C. Emily Pleigh | 07.11.06 - 4:20 pm | #

You're so stupid, it's hilarious!

BTW, I bet you eat meat, but you don't want people murdering humans? You're a total hypocrit. It's still murder if you are eating an animal (btw, I'm not a vegan or vegetarian, and I'm also pro-choice). But you're probably one of those morons who believes animals exist for the benefit of humans.

Also would you like me to send you my period blood every month since it's so precious to you and signifies life for you? Maybe you should drink it if it's that great to you. By the way, another person causing someone pain is not innocent. Babies can be painful to carry, they are causing the mother pain, this is not innocence. They are hurting another person. Get a grip on yourself budday. Plus, why should I ever listen to someone named Pete tell me I shouldn't abort? You are most likely male, and will never quite understand what it's like to be a woman.
Lindsey | 07.11.06 - 4:21 pm | #

How is it even possible to be that stupid?
We'll see this guy on the Darwin Awards next.
Bren | 07.11.06 - 4:22 pm | #

LOZL
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 4:25 pm | #

Gravatar Comment 420, about a guy who just doesn't get it, go smoke another one Cheech.
Dopeman | 07.11.06 - 4:30 pm | #

dipshit!
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 4:31 pm | #

I hope that I really piss you off when I say this. And do NOT ever pray for me, I am an athiest. I have had 3 abortions. I am not sorry that I had any of them. It makes me sad that the mistakes happened because I always use protection. And that is what a lot of pregnancies are---*MISTAKES*. Not a mistake for having sex. Sex is amazing. But just for not realizing the condom was slipping off or whatever. And I'm only sad because it cost a lot of money, although worth it. The only time I ever tell people about my 3 abortions is when I hope that it will upset them and hopefully give them a heart attack or something. And that is what I hope for you. I hope you cry about my 3 dead fetuses. Can't even call them that anymore, now they're dried up mush. hahahaha I hope you get so upset that you die.
Nicole | 07.11.06 - 4:32 pm | #

Next article I think should be on how Planned Parenthood makes 9 figures primarily through their investment in Partial Birth Abortion Krazy Skwigli-Wigli Skull Skissors...
Rusputin | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 4:35 pm | #

Hot damn nicole, thats some mean shit!

you got myspace? LOLZ
oddo | 07.11.06 - 4:36 pm | #

Gravatar Pete:

Remember how I told you that if you didn't stop touching yourself all the time you'd become retarded?

Well...
Mr. Big | 07.11.06 - 4:39 pm | #

I hope the staff at The Onion has seen this.
Bridget | 07.11.06 - 4:40 pm | #

We are aware.
The Onion | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 4:43 pm | #

Gravatar I know I'm late by about a week, but I have to say that I was having a rough day today until this. I'm starting to think Darwanism is a crock cause evolution should have selected you years ago.
late by a week | 07.11.06 - 4:44 pm | #

Thank you, I was feeling a bit down and that really brightened my day. Ignorant flaming activists are some of the most hilarious things out there. I'm sure this article will be deleted soon, but I saved a mirror just for when the time comes that I need a good laugh at the expense of someone else's pure gullibility. Blogs like these are guarunteed proof that a sucker really is born every minute, and modern technology is making the suckers more abundant than intelligent beings.
Wow | 07.11.06 - 4:45 pm | #

Gravatar You are the dumbest mother fucker on the Internets.
Tim | 07.11.06 - 4:47 pm | #

Hit every branch falling off the stupid tree didn't you?
joemama | 07.11.06 - 4:51 pm | #

Gravatar You should write for The Onion.


TOO FUNNY!!!
The Bulldog Manifesto | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 4:55 pm | #

I was very depressed today as I had been planning to abort my pregnancy. I changed my mind however after reading your article. I decided that I wanted my child to see how hilariously stupid you are. Thanks
Just passing through | 07.11.06 - 4:56 pm | #

...and I present to you the winner of the "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Poster Child" contest.
C.R. Darwin | 07.11.06 - 4:56 pm | #

Gravatar dumb--da--dumb--dumb---DUMB!!
KrapArtist | 07.11.06 - 4:57 pm | #

Gravatar your a laughingstock hahaah hahahaa
hahahaaha

the worst part of this whole thing is that pro-lifers keep polluting the gene pool.

pop!
hahaha | 07.11.06 - 4:58 pm | #

Gravatar keep the "Darwin Award" quips coming...priceless phrase, use it more!
okstupidpeoplercommentingnow | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 4:58 pm | #

Thank you for the biggest belly laugh i've had in years.
Amanda | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 4:58 pm | #

Gravatar your
you're

their
they're
there
4yrreference | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:00 pm | #

Gravatar Pete, I bow to you. As a liberal, I have spent a good deal of time wondering my party was truly the better one. Were Republicans really as stupid as I expected them to be? The thought came to me several times and haunted me night and day. Well, my friend, you bring comfort to my life. You have taught me the true nature of Dubya Drones. I had feared comments from you groupies about us Democrats might have some truth to them. Were we crazy for caring about the thousands dying in the war more than a handful of unborn fetuses? Were we really tossing humans aside to animals in wanting to stop an animal torture ring over saving a single unborn child whose mother didn't want it? Were we unpatriotic not wanting our soldiers to die pointlessly? Were we going against God to not want homosexuals to be treated like spawn of the Devil for something beyond our control? Yes, our ways were truly those of lunatics, assuming "lunatics" means "people who actually use the brains in their heads". Thank God I now know that conservatives like you are not only as idiotic and blind as I thought, but about a million times more so. You have proven that you are the lesser party. Though, I know, for a Republican, that's all in a day's work. Good work Pete, and keep up with your life’s work, because it’s all you’ll ever be good enough for.
Caitlin | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:00 pm | #

YOu fucking stupid moron cunt.....
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 5:01 pm | #

Bababooey?

NOICE!
bad.mad.cat | 07.11.06 - 5:03 pm | #

Epic lulz A++
Keithbuff | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:04 pm | #

Gravatar you're an idiot.... must be the only person alive to not realize that the Onion is a satirical newspaper.

der
Sarcasm | 07.11.06 - 5:05 pm | #

Gravatar 420.
josh agran | 07.11.06 - 5:06 pm | #

pete, i just wanted to say that for every 100 comments from people on here berating and laughing at you, there are thousands more of us, also laughing.
BCO | 07.11.06 - 5:14 pm | #

Oh my! John 11:35 with laughter!!!
Lt. Col V Sassoon, 98A/3B/echo | 07.11.06 - 5:14 pm | #

Gravatar Could this be a really good troll?
I dunno | 07.11.06 - 5:15 pm | #

it's a shame you weren't aborted
anonymous | 07.11.06 - 5:15 pm | #

I get it now! Fundamentalists like you choose not to believe in evolution because apparently you simply didn't evolve past the mental capacity of an ameoba.

Wow, talk about stupid.
Jeff | 07.11.06 - 5:15 pm | #

Gravatar Do you need a special license to be so fucking stupid?
Speide Bahl | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:15 pm | #

You made my day you magnificent moron.
dissento | 07.11.06 - 5:15 pm | #

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Mar...gether_For_Life

Congratulations Pete! Your pontificating on the morals of fictitious characters is being immortalized on wikipedia! Bravo!
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 5:17 pm | #

The satire presented in this entire blog is so sublime...the author coming across as a sincere believer and then using The Onion to bolster the argument? Not even Jesus' General can approach such levels.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 5:18 pm | #

Gravatar There's still time for a "oops, I goofed!" post. You can laugh this off, petey. We certainly are!
wumpus | 07.11.06 - 5:18 pm | #

Oh, this is just too easy.
Stalin the Shark | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:18 pm | #

Gravatar more proof that liberals are leagues smarter than Christofascists.
thereisnospoon | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:18 pm | #

Gravatar I think stem cell research may yet hold promise for people like Pete. I've heard they may even be able to create brain cells.

Call Bush and ask him to stay that veto, Pete!
MarchTogetherForBrains | 07.11.06 - 5:21 pm | #

PUT ON YOUR ASSHAT!!

AND DANCE MONKEY, DANCE!
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 5:21 pm | #

Gravatar These blog comments are proof that America is full of sinners!

Like Marilyn Manson! read my blog about him, link below!
Rev. Gary Davis | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:23 pm | #

Gravatar Oh my God... when people are as stupid as you, I thought they would not be able to type.
s | 07.11.06 - 5:24 pm | #

To be completely charitable, I can only say that you sir, are an idiot.

A duddering, shut-in idiot.

Spend less time praying for others, and more time praying for a little intelligence of your own.

It's no wonder the right-wing considers us liberals to be intellectuals - if they are all this fucking stupid.
junior barnes | 07.11.06 - 5:24 pm | #

Caitlin--what planet are you from? I thought liberals were "open minded", yet you go and stereotype every last Republican/conservative based off one dumb twat's blog entry? Holy shit, you're just as stupid as Pete.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 5:25 pm | #

Gravatar Heh. Now that it's been pointed out to you that the article was a BIG JOKE about an IMAGINARY PERSON, how do you feel?

Oh, I know, I know! You're saying to all your equally gullible pals, "But there really are gals out there who feel this way!!!!!"

Geez, the clue phone is ringing for you... pick it up. It's Reality calling to tell you that you literally do not know what you are talking about when it comes to abortion.


What, were you traumatized when the fetus said, "Today my mommy killed me!" at the end of the movie?


That kid never existed either.
Louise | 07.11.06 - 5:26 pm | #

I can't begin to tell you how sad it is that you actually thought this was a REAL story.

You need serious help.
TekBoss | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:26 pm | #

You should be ashamed of yourself, wasting your time on left-wing practical jokes while the uneducated lower-class is being encouraged to eat their own children.

http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html
Becky | 07.11.06 - 5:28 pm | #

Gravatar ATTENTION THIS IS THE HYPER_REAL PETE

I STANDBY MY BLOGGING MY ORIGINAL BLOG WAS TEH GREATEST BLOG EVER BLOGS R THE FUTRE OF NEWS REAL OR FAKE BLOGS
Pete | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:29 pm | #

Further proof that while most of us humans evolved from a chimpanzee-like ancestor, there are a few still stuck with a sub-simian intellect. Well done, moron.
People are dumbasses | 07.11.06 - 5:29 pm | #

Gravatar *snerk*

http://www.dailykos.com/story/20...7/11/155545/ 719
Sagra | 07.11.06 - 5:30 pm | #

I think others said it well...but not only are you a moron...but even worse, you're an anti-choice moron.

Double Douchebag Wammy. Congrats.
Genevive | 07.11.06 - 5:31 pm | #

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! You are an idiot. I'd pray for you but I am an atheist.

Jesus, I hope that YOU don't have any kids.

Fucking douchebag moron.
Billy Shears | 07.11.06 - 5:31 pm | #

OhMehGod

you just ownt yourself!!!11!!one!one!!1
ROFLCOPTER | 07.11.06 - 5:32 pm | #

Gravatar Peter,

I tracked down Caroline Weber and I asked her, point-blank, if she had written the article that appeared in The Onion.

And she admitted that she had, indeed, written said article. In fact, she told me, she LOVED writing that article because she knew it would upset people in the pro-life movement.

Caroline Weber is a woman of loose morals. I know because I then propositioned her and she consented to have sex with me on the spot. (I was testing her.)

I pretended to be interested. After all, she is an attractive woman and it took all of my Jesus-given strength to resist her "charms" (those being a set of very perky breasts and an attractive, round and firm derriere). And I asked her if she was using any form of birth control and/or should I be using a condom.

She said, "Not at all! I hope I get pregnant again so I can abort another one of God's children!"

This woman has Satan inside of her. Somewhere. Maybe down there.

Anyway, just wanted to back up your post. Your take is dead on, Peter.

Jesus loves you.
Holy Moley | 07.11.06 - 5:34 pm | #

I can't believe there is already a wikipedia entry as a result of this shit. Pete might end up going into his church and pulling a columbine on his congregation if it gets any worse here. I especially like all of the earlier recommendations for pete to have sex with animals...hahahah.

Pete is now famous for being the dumbest shitbag on the planet... Go Pete Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go to my blog for good Indie Rock mp3s
4casey4 | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:34 pm | #

I think the girl has a real point. I mean, why don't we start commissioning our best chefs to create lines of baby pies. MMMM, baby, mmm...
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 5:35 pm | #

How did you make it this far in life being such an unbelieveably stupid person??
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 5:36 pm | #

If I were you I would be ashamed of myself for not checking my sources out. This is why the political situation in our country is so messed up. The so called activists do not even know how to fight intelligently for their cause.
Blue | 07.11.06 - 5:36 pm | #

I assume i can thank you for the 35% approval rating.
GWB | 07.11.06 - 5:42 pm | #

Pete, I am sorry that everybody is making so much fun of you. I have two nephews who are developmentally disabled, and I know how difficult things are for them.

I'm proud of you for learning to use the internet! Don't let these people stop you! Make sure, the next time you read an article, you run it by mom or dad to make sure it's real first, and then let us know your opinion. Go get 'em, Tiger!
Jerry | 07.11.06 - 5:42 pm | #

Gravatar Woo.

I would not want to be 'Pete' right now.

well, Pete, I hope you can take it as a lesson learned. You probably fell for this satire, because you genuinely believe liberals are evil people who like to carelessly abort fetuses just because it's fun.

An abortion is a terrible decision to have to make. It is the ending of the potential for a child.

It just isn't the killing of a *child*. And, as such, it's a decision that remains entirely with the parents, that neither government nor church nor anyone else should have any say in.

You know that the number of abortions under Bush has increased from under Clinton, right? That's because poverty has increased, which forces people to make difficult decisions.

As Clinton said, we look forward to a world where abortions are safe, legal and rare.
jim | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:43 pm | #

Gravatar Smooth one, dumbass.
Christine | 07.11.06 - 5:47 pm | #

Gravatar Hey dude, is your refrigerator running?? LOL!
And you purport to tell me how to live my life and force me to procreate?! Jesus, if you have kids do I feel sorry for them.
KB | 07.11.06 - 5:47 pm | #

Gravatar Has anyone sent this to The Onion yet? I'm sure they'd be thrilled!
KB | 07.11.06 - 5:49 pm | #

Pete,

Thank you for making the rest of us look like geniuses. Moron.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 5:50 pm | #

Gravatar rofl

You must be one of the 30% left that just doesn't get it.

I sincerely hope you are on drugs. I hate to imagine that someone not under the influence of some drug could actually take the Onion as a serious publication.
unbound | 07.11.06 - 5:53 pm | #

What a douchebag you are Pete and if you speak for the entire bunch of people from the "right" of the political spectrum where I ONCE came from I pity them and you. You are spiteful, hateful people and because of those traits you miss humor and most of the big picture where serious issues are concerned...no wonder our country has gone to hell and we lock people up for wearing t-shirts that say, "Veterans for Peace" in the city of Chicago now. Why don't you go to the playground where you truly belong.

"we look forward to a world where abortions are safe, legal and rare." I am pro-life but when a woman has a decision to make about whether to carry a child to term, that is her own to make and it is between her and her God if she believes. It is not between her and the world! The same it isn't the world's business how many peole you sleep you in your lifetime if you so choose not to share that information. Everybody has to know what everyone else is doing instead of minding their own damn business. Is your life really that boring????
stormingamerican | 07.11.06 - 5:54 pm | #

LoLz satire.

I honestly thought the article YOU wrote was satire. Now THAT'S

100% LOL

:-*
PJDJ | 07.11.06 - 5:55 pm | #

Gravatar Man I am so happy we have the Internets. I haven't laughed this long in months!
iliketodrum | 07.11.06 - 5:56 pm | #

Gravatar How much did your mom and dad pay for that junk DNA?
Tony Morano | 07.11.06 - 5:57 pm | #

Gravatar Hahahahahahahahahaha! Idiots!

This is how smart the pro-life movement is. Arguing with a satirical paper. Next up: Bat Boy- Why are they so MEAN to him??
Zette T | 07.11.06 - 5:57 pm | #

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!


By the way, until you can *prove* that an embryo has a soul, it's just a lump of cells until it has higher brain function. And it's absolutely none of your business what the woman carrying that lump of cells chooses to do with it.
Fred Carpenter | 07.11.06 - 5:59 pm | #

Gravatar Hysterical! That was funny! The Onion article that is; you really believed that crap!?
Ole Blue | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 5:59 pm | #

Gravatar Wow. How a person of your intelligence got on the internet in the first place is beyond me.
Feh | 07.11.06 - 6:00 pm | #

Gravatar If this is all the brighter heads in the pro-life movement have to offer I guess all we have to worry about are their bombs and guns.
Kragg | 07.11.06 - 6:02 pm | #

dude. where have you been. you've never heard of the onion????
papataco | 07.11.06 - 6:02 pm | #

LULZ. Just seriously, LULZ. I love you, internets.
Ameh | 07.11.06 - 6:05 pm | #

Jesus loves you ... everyone else thinks you're a waste of breathable air.
Paul | 07.11.06 - 6:05 pm | #

Dear Genius:

The Onion is satire.

It's true, isn't it? You guys really *don't* have any sense of humor whatsoever.

Man, are you gonna hate the afterlife. It's full of sight gags.
The Fob | 07.11.06 - 6:07 pm | #

Egads--there is already an article in wikipedia about this!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Mar...gether_For_Life
bobo | 07.11.06 - 6:10 pm | #

Well, I mean, if there are people stupid enough to believe Fox News...
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 6:12 pm | #

Gravatar Dear Pete,

That was dumb. Really dumb. I hope you know that no one will ever take you seriously again.

I will pray to the FSM on your behalf. May he touch you with his noodly appendeges.

RAmen,
Ashley
Ashley | 07.11.06 - 6:18 pm | #

Gravatar You may in fact be the most ignorant blogger on the planet, and that is really saying something.

*points and laughs*
Hoover | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 6:19 pm | #

Gravatar Just from misinterpreting The Onion, the honest thing for you to do would be to realize you're not qualified to speak publicly on most subjects, let alone one as thorny as abortion.
Ax | 07.11.06 - 6:21 pm | #

all I have is avoid the hell out of the hot dogs and pate at the party. Who the hell knows what is in that......
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 6:21 pm | #

someone who doesn't even have the wits to spot heavy-handed satire is obviously well equiped to tell other people how to manage difficult and complex circumstances, right?

poor judgement, and judgemental -- you're a real winner, 'pete'.
amy | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 6:22 pm | #

Gravatar Don't worry, Pete. Jesus let my retarded friend into heaven. I bet you can still get in.
mmmmmm babies | 07.11.06 - 6:24 pm | #

You know I have been so down due to the constitutional crisis we face in America lately. I mean we have people being arrested for wearing anti-bush t-shirts, we have people being locked up without due process, wiretapping domestically without a search warrant, not to mention the prisons in Europe that are torturing people in America's name...all for good ole retard Dubya! Then suddenly I come across this moron who seems to not have enough intelligence to realize that the onion is satire! ROF thanks for the laughs!
my side hurts so much | 07.11.06 - 6:25 pm | #

Gravatar Dam yuo make me look smrt! :ot:
George Walker Bush | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 6:26 pm | #

Gravatar lol, you're an idiot.
Demo | 07.11.06 - 6:29 pm | #

Gravatar So now everybody knows it was a satire. What I want to know now is: Where is the retraction? Now that you know that The Onion is a satire, it would be a serious breach of ethics for you to leave your posting up without a retraction.
Luke | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 6:29 pm | #

I'm retarded and I knew this was a fake article at a very well known satire publication.

you are the stupidest person ever.
Corky Thatchere | 07.11.06 - 6:31 pm | #

Everyone has already said it.
You have got to be one of the most stupid people in the world today.
Congrats!
Another reason to keep you people off my body.
Not With You | 07.11.06 - 6:32 pm | #

Pete,

Hear that whistle?

That's the lifeguard at the gene pool.
- You - OUT!
lcs | 07.11.06 - 6:35 pm | #

Jesus christ what a FUCKING MORON! AHAHHAHA!
JS | 07.11.06 - 6:35 pm | #

Gravatar haha, you're a douche and 500 people are telling you about it



501 now
doug | 07.11.06 - 6:36 pm | #

Gravatar See name and email
Die | 07.11.06 - 6:37 pm | #

I'm sorry te say this, my child, but I am not pro-your-life. If you would kindly kill yourself, I won't have to deal with you in the afterlife you probably believe in. kthxbai
GOD | 07.11.06 - 6:38 pm | #

Gravatar "That was amazing! Did you have to swear a circus oath to never reveal the source of your clown powers?"
--Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
Enkidu | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 6:43 pm | #

Gravatar Wow. Wow. You're f*cking stupid folk.

(and you actually think that you or the government has the right to tell anyone whether to have sex before marriage or make decisions about her own body? Remember the Taliban and stuff).

Wow.
Nate | 07.11.06 - 6:44 pm | #

This is much funnier than anything on The Onion. I'm glad your mother didn't have an abortion, we wouldn't have had you to laugh at.
Fred McFred | 07.11.06 - 6:46 pm | #

Gravatar Don't feel too bad, at least the readers got a good chuckle (including myself).
lurker | 07.11.06 - 6:46 pm | #

Gravatar Hi Pete,

Thanks for posting my story on your site. I really appreciate the free publicity you're giving us abortionists. Its through supporters like you that our quest to kill as many babies as we can continues to thrive.

As a show of gratitude, I invite you to my next abortion, which is scheduled for next October 27th at Planned Parenthood. Afterwards we're having another abortion party, and will be drinking the fetus' blood! Its gonna be so much fun, and we'd all love to have you.

Thanks again for the plug,

Caroline Weber
Carolne Weber | 07.11.06 - 6:47 pm | #

Gravatar Blogger Pete is a fucking moron
dum dum dum dum dum
Flagg | 07.11.06 - 6:49 pm | #

You are a complete failure and a waste of natural resources.

Love,
John
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 6:49 pm | #

Gravatar You just put the pro-life movement back 5 light years.

Next, please do an article on whether your pharmasist has cotton balls.
Tenzo | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 6:50 pm | #

Gravatar No, you guys don't realize that The Onion is usually satire but this piece was based on fact...okay I can't even type it with a straight face. But don't worry guys. When I was younger this guy told me if my hand was bigger than my face then I was a genius and then slapped me in the face with my own hand. We all have our moments.
Cody | 07.11.06 - 6:52 pm | #

Hahahahahahahah. Check your facts errr I mean check your satire! Moron!
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 6:52 pm | #

Gravatar http://www.penismightier.com
Fnarg | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 6:55 pm | #

Gravatar "because I meet women like her in the field all the time."

Pete, Earth to Pete...What fucking field is that? Don't tell me you do "field" work?!

Wait, yeah go out into the field please, and let Evolution do its part!
iliketodrum | 07.11.06 - 6:57 pm | #

Dum-de-dum-dum. Damn, rethugs are stupid.
Karla Marx | 07.11.06 - 6:59 pm | #

Gravatar This is hilarious.
Nice job "Pete" or George Dubbya, as you're more widely known.
Now get back to using the Oval Office computers for a rousing game of solitaire.
carmen | 07.11.06 - 6:59 pm | #

the amount of hate displayed here saddens me
penguin | 07.11.06 - 6:59 pm | #

I bet your mom is wishing she'd had access to an abortion right now, Pete!
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 6:59 pm | #

Gravatar This is similar to Delay putting a Colbert interview up on his website...good grief you people are dumb.
No One You Know | 07.11.06 - 7:04 pm | #

Don't let 'em get you down. so what if hundreds of people around the country (maybe the world) know you as 'that dipshit who can't understand a joke'. Your heart was in the right place. You didn't insult Miss Caroline Weber, and instead said you would pray for her. Thats big of you, and if she existed, i'm sure she'd appreciate it. And you're standing up for what you believe in, and thats honorable too. Next time just go after something real. AND you genuinely feel that abortion is murder and you're doing all this because you care. Good for you I say. Oh and incidentally this isn't one of those things that just goes away. I totally showed all my friends.
Ovary Omelette | 07.11.06 - 7:04 pm | #

Gravatar You are either the dumbest person or the most messed up person in the world. You are either so stupid that you could not tell it was satire, or you could tell but still decided to try to use it for your propaganda purposes. Either way, I pity you.
Ed | 07.11.06 - 7:10 pm | #

Hundreds? Your kidding right? Try millions! The Onion is sure to get wind of this one and I am sure they will run with it. This is like the Holy Grail for The Onion!

hehehhehe....
Steve Stunning | 07.11.06 - 7:11 pm | #

This is awesome. Thank you so much, if it weren't for idiots like you I would have nobody to laugh at.
dice | 07.11.06 - 7:11 pm | #

It's people like you that make me wonder how the HELL the human race continues to function in any real way. Holy mother of god. And not only are you a complete fool who is incapable of recognizing that The Onion is a work of satire, you also think that you and your government have a right to dictate another person's reproductive choice. Let me ask you something: after these unwanted children are born, do you look after them? Didn't think so. Do you donate money to social programs to help these kids? Do you worry about the long term damage done to a child born to a 15 yr old whose father raped her? Do you worry about the 15 yr old? Are you yourself EVER going to have to face the difficult decision of either a) terminating a pregnancy or b) dying? Do you care for one f&*king second about that kid once it has left the womb?

Just go away.
ezmy | 07.11.06 - 7:11 pm | #

Gravatar LOL!

Hey, douchebag, guess what?

If *ever* (EVER, I say) there was a poster child for abortion, *YOU* are it. The last thing the human gene pool needs is you. Evolution is about improving the quality of rational thought, which means folks like you need to be bred out.

LOL! HAHAHA!!! What a dingleberry ...
TK | 07.11.06 - 7:15 pm | #

Wow, I suddenly don't feel nearly as bad standing here holding a bloody coathanger.
Stupac | 07.11.06 - 7:19 pm | #

Gravatar Satire trumped by satire? It's better than great. It's greatabulous!

Say, when a woman suffers a miscarriage or a spontaneous abortion, is she a murderer too, Ms. EffNut?

The Effing religious right. May they all burn in hell for their abject stupidity, hypocrisy and just because they are living examples of why abortion is so important.

Thanks for the giggle, twit.
Hello, Moto? | 07.11.06 - 7:20 pm | #

Good god, you are a dumbass.

I knew the Onion was fake back when I was in high school, but apparently it takes a little longer for braindead anti-abortion retarded ranters like you. Nice job making absolutely no acknowledgement of your idiocy, too
PhoenixFlare | 07.11.06 - 7:22 pm | #

HA HA HA, you people are only as stupid as you are fucking evil.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 7:23 pm | #

Gravatar pete-

please get in touch with me ASAP. i have a bridge to sell you. cheap!
onionpencil | 07.11.06 - 7:26 pm | #

Jeebus to Pete: Shut yer piehole. Get a life...one of yer own.

ps: dumbass.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 7:26 pm | #

Gravatar Greetings Mr. Peter,

I hope this communication finds you well. My name is Malcolm Abachu and until recently I was Finance Minister for the nation of Liberia until recent events hastened my departure from government service. I found your name in a business registry and am assured that you are a gentleman of the highest integrity and intelligence.

An American woman by the name of Miss Weber recently travelled to our country for a certain medical procedure not available in her home country. Unfortunately, the procedure resulted in her untimely death. Miss Weber left a considerable sum on deposit at the National Bank of Liberia, monies that, with your assistance, I would endeavor to recover.

If you, kind sir, would present me with your banking information and a photocopy of your credentials and identification, I would tender 35% of the monies Miss Weber left on account to you.

I hope you keep this communication strictly confidential. Thank you.

Yours in Christ,
Malcolm Abachu
Malcolm Abachu | 07.11.06 - 7:27 pm | #

Gravatar Pete,

"You are so freaking talented"

I'm watching Seinfeld,the one with Bette Midler

p.s. you dumb dumb dum dumd udm dum dum
xjudjudx | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 7:29 pm | #

AHAHAHAH HAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HA HA! HA!
George | 07.11.06 - 7:31 pm | #

pps:

Pete, your engraved invitation to my next monthly abortion party is in the mail. All the girls will be premenstually sloughing off eggs & uterine linings, & a tad edgy, so bring beer. We'll have plenty of whine.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 7:31 pm | #

Gravatar does the 7th Commandment apply to stealing bandwith? Because that's what you did when you hotlinked a picute of a FAKE writer to a FAKE news site.

You are dumb.

The Onion=Fake

you are stupid
stew | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 7:33 pm | #

Dude. WOW! this is fucking awsome response to that evil onion conspiricy-shit.

Kill the abortioning mothers while there still pregnant, SSAVE THE PREFORMED FETUS@!!!!
Jesusismybuttbuddy | 07.11.06 - 7:33 pm | #

what a great article. don't mind the naysayers, you stick it to that bad "onion" website, they're killing babies!!!
lol | 07.11.06 - 7:34 pm | #

hahaha........even as we sit here laughing at this ridiculous post, it is making the rounds on the internet....spreading laughter for one and all.

hahaha. What an idiot. hahahaha
JenD | 07.11.06 - 7:35 pm | #

Over 550 comments so far pointing out that this is satire...how could I resist piling on? It's like frickin' Woodstock, man! "Where were you when that sex-hatin' crazy dude responded to the Onion article in all seriousness?"
Johnny Gentle (famous crooner) | 07.11.06 - 7:38 pm | #

The chinaman.

Not the issue.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 7:38 pm | #

Gravatar Your a special kind of idotic self abosrbed moron arnt you.

Its ok. I forgive your ignorance and will pray that you will see the error of your ways. And that every time you see an onion before you, you will wake up and relize what a bafoon you appear to be.

Congrats.
Tara Grieb | 07.11.06 - 7:39 pm | #

Gravatar wow, pure genius... lets try and rip on a newspaper that exist ONLY to parody the news, where every article is an invention in the mind of a comic writer...


you are a retard. Abortion exists so people like you can't breed or influence others into imbecility....

see look how I'm forced to react...

I'm just gonna have to have a couple of abortions to make myself feel better.
person with brain | 07.11.06 - 7:41 pm | #

if people are alive the moment they are concieved how come i just turned 22 instead of 22 and 9mos.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 7:43 pm | #

BWAAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 7:46 pm | #

I SHALL PRAY FOR YOU PETE
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 7:48 pm | #

United We Stand, Divided We Look Like Complete Morons. You have just proven the stereotype that pro-lifers are misinformed, humorless idiots. Gold!
Thea | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 7:49 pm | #

Greetings Mr. Peter,

I hope this communication finds you well. My name is Tsihc Susej and until recently I was Aborted Fetus Minister for the nation of Liberia until recent events hastened my departure from government service. I found your name in a business registry and am assured that you are a gentleman of the highest integrity and intelligence.

An American woman by the name of Miss Weber recently travelled to our country for a certain medical procedure not available in her home country. Unfortunately, the procedure resulted in her untimely death. Miss Weber left a considerable amount of placenta and fetus material on deposit at the National Bank of Liberia, material that, with your assistance, I would endeavor to recover.

If you, kind sir, would present me with your banking information and a photocopy of your Junior God Patrol membership club ID, I would tender 35 grams of the fetus material Miss Weber left on account to you.

I hope you keep this communication strictly confidential. Thank you.

Yours in Christ,
Tsihc Susej | 07.11.06 - 7:51 pm | #

Gravatar What a perfect example of how Christians will believe something without making an effort to find out whether their is any truth behind it.
Furthermore, it is great to see a perfect example of just how out of touch with reality people like you can be. Not only are you incapable of following your own rules, but you can't even keep up with the most basic of society's norms. The Onion has been around for over 10 years. If you are going to use the internet as a medium to spread your hate and narrowism then at least research your internet sources.
NOTE TO READERS: You can't believe everything some jackass writes on the internet, or publishes in a book.
dirt worshipper | 07.11.06 - 7:53 pm | #

wow... dude. pick up the clue phone. jesus is calling. He says if you put down the bible and pick up a dictionary, the word satire is in there somewhere between IDIOT and STUPID. Check your sources next time, whizbanger.

Take care and God bless your thick skull.
jesse | 07.11.06 - 7:55 pm | #

LOL

Ok... seriously... someone please tell me that this diary entry is a joke.

/is skeptical
EconAtheist | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 7:57 pm | #

Gravatar To God (should you exist),

I just want to thank you for Pete. If you hadn't made Pete, thousands of people wouldn't have just had a wonderful time.

-Garrett S
Garrett | 07.11.06 - 7:57 pm | #

satire. if the bible wasn't the only book in your house, maybe you'd have heard of it. buy a dictionary, idiot.

way to support the theory that the religious right are a bunch of moronic, easily led sheep.

unless you are actually pro-choice, and you are just posting things like this to make the anti-choicers look bad. if so - bravo! awesome!!
charlotte, who actually has an | 07.11.06 - 7:58 pm | #

ROFL
OnionReader | 07.11.06 - 7:59 pm | #

Gravatar Send me your address, Pete, and I'll send you a free God detector. You can start writing again about what God wants after the dial moves.

http://www.yo-god.com
Dean Booth | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:01 pm | #

Congrats... you're officially an idiot. This rates highly in the world of douchebaggery. Heck, you should check out Stargate SG1... apparently they've found a portal to alternate universes! Quick, you'll be the first to blog it!
anon | 07.11.06 - 8:01 pm | #

Hey man, wanna buy a bridge?
R | 07.11.06 - 8:01 pm | #

Gravatar Congrats dumbest person alive. You win the "I'm a fucking moron, and a republican" award.
Sushisource | 07.11.06 - 8:01 pm | #

I did not have the time to read all the comments and don't know if anyone mentioned it, but- can we agree that Pete's mantra of "United We Stand, Divided They Die" is scary as FUCK?? Or, if not that, then the best mantra evaaaar for a megalomaniac? Yes, oh yes.

Seriously, thank you for your stupidity. It almost makes me feel better, that this somehow explains the outright idiocy being played out every day by our government.
blahblahblahblog | 07.11.06 - 8:02 pm | #

Gravatar Don't worry son, everyone makes mistakes in life. The real story here is that you just cannot believe everything you read, including most of the posts here.

My real point is, you suck at the internet.
Dad | 07.11.06 - 8:03 pm | #

Gravatar This just proves my point. People on the Christian right are bloody morons. Idiots. Without a brain. Operating with less than 80 I.Q. points. Self righteous, moronic, without any subtlety, without any understanding. Jackasses, the whole lot.
T.S. | 07.11.06 - 8:03 pm | #

Gravatar This just proves my point. People on the Christian right are bloody morons. Idiots. Without a brain. Operating with less than 80 I.Q. points. Self righteous, moronic, without any subtlety, without any understanding. Jackasses, the whole lot.
T.S. | 07.11.06 - 8:03 pm | #

Gravatar On a more serious note, it's people like you who are responsible for the tens of thousands of deaths in Iraq, for the unnecessary suffering in New Orleans, and all the other such attrocities perpetuated by the "Godly" administration you kept in power. You know not what you do, but I do not forgive you.
Dean Booth | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:04 pm | #

Gravatar There's not much left to say except-

lol
OwnageJones | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:06 pm | #

oh my god so much lulz
cparamo | 07.11.06 - 8:06 pm | #

Hey Pete, i thought you could use a joke after all the heat you've been recieving, so here it is:

how many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

depends on how fast you can abort them...
aborted babies taste like candy, if you weren't so stupid you could realize that.

The onion is funny leave it at that, i would go into hiding if i were you (i hear osama found a good cpot, maybe you should get in touch with him)
aborted | 07.11.06 - 8:06 pm | #

Gravatar WOW!

UNBELIEVABLY FRIGGIN' STUPID!
Erikthered | 07.11.06 - 8:07 pm | #

Whatta maroon. Thanks for the laff . . . now, go save that vag, simp
rotflmao | 07.11.06 - 8:08 pm | #

Gravatar Thanks for the much needed laugh today but on the other hand, it's kind of depressing to know that there are people THAT stupid.
LaLa | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:09 pm | #

Gravatar Actually, I do believe in abortion. Too bad all the rural jackasses who use my name for their bigotry don't. God knows you're all too fucking stupid to live.
Jesus Christ | 07.11.06 - 8:10 pm | #

Gravatar Hey Pete,

Thanks for the laugh!

Sincerely,

El Comandante
Comandante Agi | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:11 pm | #

I am so sorry. I don't think anyone deserves this much abuse.









On the other hand ...

GOD this is funny!
## | 07.11.06 - 8:13 pm | #

I will also be praying ... for you to get some common sense, that is. Though I must admit, your dumb ass has provided an enormous amount of satisfaction to me. You've proven that the ultra-right wing of the country is a bunch of out-of-touch nutjobs living in its own personal ideological echo chamber hell bent on silencing dissent or alternative points of view. Your ignorance has done wonders for my outlook on our current political scene.
Benito | 07.11.06 - 8:14 pm | #

You really aren't aware that the onion is a satirical humor site are you? Such a thing would have been made clear by simply looking at few articles on the site or even doing a quick check through google for "the onion." Instead you chose to publish without even doing a simple check on the reliability of your source.

I do honestly hope that this is a failed attempt to add your own level of humor to this satire and not a serious response to what is quite blatantly a comical article.
Valhalla | 07.11.06 - 8:14 pm | #

Holy sweet mother of fuck you are stupid. Thanks for making my day, you stupid asshole.
Phil | 07.11.06 - 8:15 pm | #

Please read my book The Coming of Tan, it will make everything clear to you my child. You are not really stupid, juts a little confused, it happens. O kwa tan zeen wan, friend.
Riley Martin | 07.11.06 - 8:15 pm | #

first.. it's the ONION, lady. the fucking ONION. nobody believes the onion.

second.. so WHAT if people have sex before they're married? are you a Christian? then it's GOD'S place to judge. NOT YOURS.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 8:16 pm | #

Gravatar Like several commenters here, I am a bit bothered by the intense criticism and hate directed at you, Pete. We all make mistakes.

But the problem is that you and people like you believe Americans are too free, and you have elected those who can turn the U.S. into the land of the less free.

Believe anything irrational thing you want, but once you try to impose your irrational rules on everyone else, be prepared for the well-deserved hate.
Dean Booth | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:19 pm | #

ABORTIONS KICK ASS
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 8:20 pm | #

Gravatar Pete is the world's biggest Jackass who will believe any fantasy for the truth- from the Bible to the Onion.
Jason | 07.11.06 - 8:23 pm | #

Gravatar Going on my 5th abortion next week, cant wait!
Julia | 07.11.06 - 8:24 pm | #

Gravatar The Psychotic Patriot is furiously working on a post ... uhhh... somewhat similar to this... ummm... one... using a NY Times story about the rape and murder of a teenager in Iraq, which fills the neocon bill of killing all the Muslims (and a little slap and tickle beforehand wink wink). I would never believe this NY Times story as real, because, you know, it was in the NY Slimes.

I'm ashamed at all my liberal bretheren and sisteren taking cheap (but exceedingly funny) shots at Pete. He is only doing what he feels called to do, which appears to be forcing people to have as little sex as he does.

So lighten up, libs. We're looking directly at the future here with Pete, and it's really seriously funny.

Remember, I'm writing a post that will be even more satirical than Pete's, believing the NY Times!

Nah. I just couldn't resist leaving a comment on the most popular (for all the wrong reasons) one-day wonderblogs on the internets.
JamesRaven | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:29 pm | #

Gravatar I guess he felt the truthiness of it. :P
Jason | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:29 pm | #

Gravatar Pete's response: http://marchtogether.blogspot.co.../07/ satire.html

...I'm afraid it's hopeless, not only with Pete but with all those like him.
Dean Booth | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:33 pm | #

Gravatar I daresay, this cake appears to be rofl.
Some Sir | 07.11.06 - 8:34 pm | #

Gravatar Hahaha...pwned!


Visit www.sternfans.net

The West Coast Howard Stern Fan Site.
Sternfans.net | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:36 pm | #

You've received a place of honor at the Laughing Academy.

Be assured that this will be distributed throughout the Internet, and that you will be encountering this for decades.

The Internet is a Darwinian place. You've heard of Darwin, right?
You Poor Sap | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:37 pm | #

Gravatar Good lord. I'd offer you a clue, but you are clearly beyond help. Just keep believing whatever it is you believe, just stay out of our lives.

Ha ha. proves everything I ever thought about fun-duh-meantalists.
F'in Librul | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:42 pm | #

Wow.

How could ANYBODY be that stupid?
Extremely amused | 07.11.06 - 8:43 pm | #

593 comments? Time to pack up, tuck tail between legs, and start a new blog somewhere else.

And try to avoid gaffes like this the next time.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 8:44 pm | #

this is fuel for my "post-term abortion" campain...

Thank you pete!
Anti-lifer | 07.11.06 - 8:45 pm | #

Gravatar lol...sorry man
David Quijano | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 8:46 pm | #

Gravatar Pete, you magnificent bastard - I READ YOUR BLOG!

And it was fucking High-Larious!

Don't ever change dude. And make sure the cream cheese you have between your ears keep churning out the comedy gold.
Dunciad | 07.11.06 - 8:46 pm | #

Hey Pete, people like you make me happy that I had an abortion. I certianly wouldn't want to be resposible for raising a retard like you.

Keep writing, though.

You're precious!

btw- my husband and I pray for your misguided little soul.

To Satan, of course.
Moxymoth | 07.11.06 - 8:57 pm | #

I normally pride myself on my tolerance. But Christ, you are a fucktard. And God hates you, he told me so.
GFY | 07.11.06 - 8:59 pm | #

Gravatar Dude... hope you are not on vacation!
Haloscan might be asking for some extra $$$ to house all these comments!!!

Well at least you can say you made #1 on BlogTopSites. Bet you didn't think you could do it

________________________________________
ZZ Bachman / ZardozZ News & Satire Portal
ZardozZ | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 9:01 pm | #

Gravatar You're an idiot. Better luck next time.
eugene park | 07.11.06 - 9:04 pm | #

You're one of those people who thinks cartoons are real, aren't you? One of those kids who wore a superman cape and tried to jump off your house, right?

I know you were. Don't worry, it's a secret between us. ~
What-cha-Mah-Call-et | 07.11.06 - 9:05 pm | #

Gravatar Umm, you do realize that "the onion" is satire, right?

I mean, you'd have to be pretty dense not to realize that.

Maybe you are satirizing satire in your blog?

OH! I get it now! HAHAHAHAHHA! erm..
basilbub | 07.11.06 - 9:05 pm | #

Gravatar Pete,

Unlike most of the people commenting here, I am going to ignore the blatancy of your level of intelligence in posting this. I'm not here to call you stupid. HOWEVER, your implication that only unmarried women get abortions is untrue, and not very informed. What about victims of rape or incest or women who have more goals in life than being brood-mares? What about selective reduction for multiple fetus pregnancies? What about babies who will be born with horrible deformities or die shortly after birth anyway? What about when contraceptives don't work?

I also object to your objections about birth control; Arent you trying to avoid abortions? You'd think pro-lifers would realize that sex is PART of life, and people are going to have it. Even good christian women. (GASP!) Isnt that what the 60's and 70's were all about? So how do pro-lifers like yourself not get the point already?

The bible says sex is only for procreation. Until all pro-lifers commit to not having sex, I don't believe them. True, this was written long before modern reality, but you seem to want to keep up all these archaic outdated practices, so...

Oh yeah, and one more thing...these days we call someone who walks again after being dead a zombie. Anyone who worships a zombie is kinda scary in and of itself... :: shiver::

p.s. i agree, no uterus, no opinion. You tell me you dont think there might be a little merit in the idea of abortion after you have been pregnant and suffered through that; hemorrhoids, cramps, morning sickness, diabetes, and all the other 'beautiful' side effects...
Atriphene Greene | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 9:07 pm | #

Not only are you a moron and making yourself look foolish by responding to a FAKE newspaper, but you're also a moron for expressing your moronic opinions. I'm married, and I don't want kids right now. I use contraceptives, but if for some ungodly reason I were to get pregnant, I'd still have an abortion, simply because it's my body, and it's my right. I bet that tears you up, doesn't it? You, sir, are one load of semen your mother should have swallowed. Idiots like you are sucking up my precious air and wasting space on the planet. Please do us all a favor and remove yourself from the gene pool by killing yourself. Now.

Seriously, go turn the oven on and stick your head in it. You can also try playing in traffic, turning the car on in the garage, swallowing household chemicals, playing russian roulette, jumping off a tall building, putting weights on your ankles and jumping into a large body of water, dousing yourself in gasoline and lighting yourself on fire, etc, etc. You get the idea. Now that I've helped you brainstorm, please go kill yourself.
Cristina | 07.11.06 - 9:11 pm | #

Gravatar i could only make it through the first two-hundred or so comments, before my tears obscured the screen and my stomach hurt from giggling.

sometimes i worry about the forces of evil (bushco) winning, but if the operators of fascism are at this level, i have no fear.
rupert | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 9:12 pm | #

Abortion could've ended this tragedy of a blog.
The truth | 07.11.06 - 9:13 pm | #

Gravatar Pete and Repeat were out in a boat, Pete fell out; who was left in the boat? Pete and Repeat were out in a boat, Pete fell out; who was left in the boat? Pete and Repeat were out in a boat, Pete fell out; who was left in the boat? Pete and Repeat were out in a boat, Pete fell out; who was left in the boat? Pete and Repeat were out in a boat, Pete fell out; who was left in the boat? I don't get it, signed, Pete
sin_bad | 07.11.06 - 9:14 pm | #

Gravatar I'm not for one second surprised that this article was written by a pro-lifer.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 9:15 pm | #

Gravatar Blogs are great

except for Pete's!
stew | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 9:17 pm | #

Gravatar You are not very smart?
tom thompson | 07.11.06 - 9:22 pm | #

His Karma killed his Dogma....
aMeta4 | 07.11.06 - 9:23 pm | #

Perhaps the brain-trust here, who are continuously pointing out that "The Onion" is a satirical entity, and calling him (Pete) an idiot, perhaps are unaware that Pete might just be Onioning all of you?!
George W. Bush | 07.11.06 - 9:25 pm | #

Gravatar Wow, if ever there were a walking typing example for why abortion should remain legal for brain dead fetuses.
Cat | 07.11.06 - 9:29 pm | #

Gravatar You're are the perfect argument for pro-choice. Thank you. Keep up the good work.
Liz | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 9:31 pm | #

In other news dinosoaurs have been cloned in jurassic park. and superman has returned!
morf | 07.11.06 - 9:34 pm | #

I haven't read all of the nearly 600 comments to this, but in scanning, I don't think I've seen anything from anyone who actually has been through the procedure.

I'm here to share my experience.

I'm a married woman, and we do use birth control, but sometimes it fails...disastrously.

We have neither the money or the future prospect of money to raise a child, nor do I suspect that any offspring of ours that we would foist upon the state would be cherished and loved and adopte by a family that could feed, clothe and educate that child.

My birth control failed.

As I found myself upon the table, drugged out of my mind, the doctor who was making part of his living doing this procedure had the BALLS to say, "Are you sorry you ended up here?"

In the pre-operative suite, all 13 of us got to know each other well: one girl was seduced by her high school gym coach; another was raped by a relative; several of us were there through simple failures of birth control and a few of us were repeat offender White Trash people who just simply considered an abortion (yuck!) less expensive than birth control.

I said to the doctor, stoned as I was, "Hey, you give me $100,000 to raise this kid, and I'll stop you from sucking it into the sink drain. Or else, adopt it!"

And the bastard said, "You should've thought of that before you opened you knees."

If I hadn't been stoned beyond all reason I would've kicked him in the head.

I won't be a woman who will raise a little under-privelaged criminal: I will think through what I do.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of that BABY (yes, I said the word), but I won't contribute to a society in which we abandon our children to the mercy of the system and expect OTHER PEOPLE to rear our children.

I want to live in world where children are wanted, supported, fed and educated properly. Barring that, I live in a world where abortion exists.
helen | 07.11.06 - 9:35 pm | #

Gravatar This is just another reason why less people are taking the pro-life movement seriously.
rugburnjunky | 07.11.06 - 9:36 pm | #

You go, girl! Stick it to that moonbat publication "The Onion"!

LOL
Mark C | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 9:38 pm | #

Gravatar Even *I* knew that was satire.
Terri Schiavo | 07.11.06 - 9:41 pm | #

Gravatar Hey Pete - hear that honking outside your door? The short bus is here to pick you up and drive you home.
Short Bus Driver | 07.11.06 - 9:45 pm | #

Gravatar You DO realise that the article you linked to and quoted was satire, right?

The Onion is a newspaper of parody and satire, nothing more.

The only thing that would have been funnier is if you had quoted a Weekly World News article.
The Doctor | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 9:45 pm | #

Helen you stupid bitch. Get me the coat hangers.
Helen's mom | 07.11.06 - 9:46 pm | #

The only rational course of action is to find and firebomb this imaginary woman.

IMAGINARY FETUSES MUST BE SAVED!
ohjames | 07.11.06 - 9:48 pm | #

Gravatar Lightning has struck twice.

After agingyoung@yahoo.com cited as proof an Onion article showing all homosexuals to be extraterrestrial devilworshippers, or something, I never expected [feared] that I'd find another imbecile inferring anything Oniony to be factual, accurate, or otherwise real.

Pete: In a few months, when this information permeates the protective lining of your brain, and you realise what an utter fucking mistake you've made, go directly to http://GodHatesBrains.com and ask for forgiveness; then stop over at http://LandoverBaptist.org just to be completely safe.

--Gremlin
http://gremlin.net
Gremlin | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 9:49 pm | #

I've had two abortions. The first one was a horrible experience and I had emotional issues about it for a few years. (mostly because the guy who got me pregnant refused to believe that I was pregnant and offered no help in the situation.) I found out that I was pregnant again a few years later and had another stressful experience. The second abortion was better in terms of pain, but I can't say I enjoyed it.

Why did I do it? I wasn't ready and I had a drinking problem. I didn't want to risk my life or a child's life by having a baby with birth defects.

Whatever your ideas about what morals are, I think I took personal responsibility and made the right choice for the mistakes I made.

Call me a drunk slut, but you have no idea what it's like to make that choice. I had to take care of my addictions first. I did the best thing I could.

I'm thinking about having a party now. Thanks.
no babies until I want 'em | 07.11.06 - 9:51 pm | #

I have the coat hangers
Helen's Dad | 07.11.06 - 9:53 pm | #

Wow. I mean, is it possible to have missed that the Onion is a satirical publication? How could you have made it past the main page without getting the joke? God bless you Limbaughstic Dittoheads for giving intellegent conservatives and liberals and all us in between something to laugh at!
StunnedInRichmondVA | 07.11.06 - 9:54 pm | #

ssts
Erik | 07.11.06 - 9:55 pm | #

What a stupid moron! Are all anti-choicers as dumb as you?
Dayna | 07.11.06 - 9:56 pm | #

im so glad Pete hasnt found out about my plans for a chain of drive-thru abortion clinics.. id really be in for it then..
dyssident | 07.11.06 - 9:58 pm | #

I am amazed you can even operate a computer.
Wing | 07.11.06 - 10:03 pm | #

Gravatar Wow. I don't want to kick a guy when he's already down, so let me try to put a positive spin on it--

I'm jealous of all the traffic to your blog, Pete!

And...let's keep abortion safe and legal.
eyedoc333 | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:03 pm | #

Gravatar Just wanted to add one more name to the list of people who read this and are laughing at you, dumbass. OWNED!
Baby Puncher | 07.11.06 - 10:07 pm | #

Gravatar And these are the morons that think that they have the special right to "breed"?
piltdown | 07.11.06 - 10:13 pm | #

Hahaha, hilarious. You're the laughing stock of like 2 dozen message boards now. NICE ONE!
MAP | 07.11.06 - 10:14 pm | #

This is the best thing that's happened to me all day.

Thanks.
mike | 07.11.06 - 10:16 pm | #

hilarious - such a fucking botard
Marin | 07.11.06 - 10:19 pm | #

Gravatar So, you mistook the Onion for a news source? Aren't you glad to know you have something in common with the Chinese communists?

-jcr
John C. Randolph | 07.11.06 - 10:20 pm | #

Gravatar Dumb Shit -- do you live in a hole? If you are for something, make sure you know what the f&$k you are talking about. I'm against abortion too, but Jesus Fucking Christ your stupid!
UrAnIdiot | 07.11.06 - 10:20 pm | #

Your new Caroline Weber myspace default image.


If you really want some good Indie rock mp3s from up and coming bands check my blog. Thanks!!
4casey4 | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:21 pm | #

You're an idiot.
j | 07.11.06 - 10:25 pm | #

lurk more noob
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 10:25 pm | #

I can't even keep up with all the comments; by the time I finish reading one comment thread, a hundred more comments have been posted, and an utterly clueless Pete has decided to post not one, but two follow-ups as undeniable testimony of his stupidity.
j | 07.11.06 - 10:27 pm | #

I read that and then all the smart fell out of my head.
Laika | 07.11.06 - 10:27 pm | #

THAT is bloody GENIUS. Thanks, Pete. Wondering if this lady's actions count as an attempted manslaughter?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ 20060...gnant_rescuer_2

You should really get on that.
wellWELL | 07.11.06 - 10:28 pm | #

Gravatar I believe Nelson from the Simpsons said it best: "HAH ha!"

Please never post again. You're a terrible person, Pete. Terrible and incompetent. And an idiot, to boot.

Most of your comments made wet my pants with laughter, though - that's a positive thing.
Leela | 07.11.06 - 10:28 pm | #

Hey Pete, well you know how dumb you are by now, but really what gives you the right to tell women what to do with their bodies?

How about women all over the world getting on your case to get the snip so you can't procreate and bring another dumb shit into this world.

Way to go idiot.
Mick | 07.11.06 - 10:29 pm | #

Gravatar I know it is mean to laugh, but honestly! This is just so beyond belief it is hilarious.

Sorry Pete, here is some advice for you you should shut this joint down, slink away from the blogosphere, take a hammer and smash your computer to bits, and embrace life as a luddite, take up knitting or something.
SpankySunrise | 07.11.06 - 10:30 pm | #

It really saddens me that I am in a culture war with the likes of idealogs like this. Oh well, save the babies so we can send them off to war...
Baby Killer | 07.11.06 - 10:35 pm | #

ha. you fucking idiot. just goes to show how ignorant, self-righteous and stupid anti-choice folks are!
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 10:40 pm | #

Wow. You're stupid.
laughing | 07.11.06 - 10:42 pm | #

Wow. What more is there to say?

This was also comment #666.
beacoupfish | 07.11.06 - 10:45 pm | #

Gravatar This was great! I'm sending all my friends and relatives to read this blog entry!

I haven't laughed this hard since I read the last issue of The Onion!!!
Blogmamma | 07.11.06 - 10:46 pm | #

It's unfortunate your mom didn't believe in abortion.
helio | 07.11.06 - 10:47 pm | #

Am I comment 666?
Dude | 07.11.06 - 10:47 pm | #

Gravatar hahaha

cant stop laughing
hahahah | 07.11.06 - 10:49 pm | #

Kudos, and Huzzah, for being completely oblivious to the world around you. Truly admirable how you can go to The Onion, and somehow miss the fact that it's a humorous publication printed with satire in mind... in case you didn't know, that means it is 'fake for humor.' I'd hate to read your review of Jonathon Swift's "A Modest Promposal." And keep your christian ideology to yourself, quit trying to impede everybody elses life with your own beliefs. You don't run this country.
randy | 07.11.06 - 10:53 pm | #

Gravatar I do believe Herr Preznit has a Cabinate position waiting just for you...
Fred | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:54 pm | #

Gravatar I can't believe how cruel everybody here is being. A post like this is a gift. You're supposed to make fun of people like this behind their backs, mostly so they won't stop what they're doing.

Seriously, fuck you guys for being so nasty. Now I'm feeling sympathy for an addled loon who'd just as soon see me dead.
Clarke | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 10:55 pm | #

Wow. The fact that you seem to be able to type and spell boggles my mind.
slcathena | 07.11.06 - 10:55 pm | #

Gravatar Hello,
I am the Ms. Weber that had that abortion seven years ago. Everyday I think about my baby that I willingly killed. So to right my wrong I am gonig to go around the country killing abortion doctors.

Ms. Weber
Ms Weber | 07.11.06 - 10:55 pm | #

ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE GETTING ABORTIONS
Carl with a K | 07.11.06 - 10:56 pm | #

Pete,

Die in a fire.

Love,
C
Caulk and Ford | 07.11.06 - 10:58 pm | #

wow your a tool
K-dubz | 07.11.06 - 11:00 pm | #

Idiots of your caliber are the best pro-choice argument.

One of those fetuses could grow up to be as stupid and utterly worthless as you.
Los Heuwirth | 07.11.06 - 11:02 pm | #

i hope you hate yourself after today. it will save the rest of us the trouble
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 11:05 pm | #

Gravatar DEE DEE DEE!
Carlos Mencia | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 11:07 pm | #

Gravatar Sweet Zombie Jesus! Yer MOM called, and said that if she'd known you'd turn out this fuckwitted she'd have aborted your ass immediately!
Bad Spock | 07.11.06 - 11:07 pm | #

Gravatar I just wanted to thank you for reassuring me that with people like you fighting abortion, my right to practice my religion instead of yours is in no danger whatsoever, you CLUELESS MORON!!!
Susan Cohen | 07.11.06 - 11:10 pm | #

Gravatar I just wanted to thank you for reassuring me that with people like you fighting abortion, my right to practice my religion instead of yours is in no danger whatsoever, you CLUELESS MORON!!!
Susan Cohen | 07.11.06 - 11:10 pm | #

Oh my god, I have just lost my faith in humanity. Thanks a lot, Pete!
Taina | 07.11.06 - 11:13 pm | #

You're a tool. Just so you know.

(PS: There is no God.)
kodak | 07.11.06 - 11:15 pm | #

You should have been a blow job, asshat.
Paul | 07.11.06 - 11:16 pm | #

pwned
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 11:16 pm | #

Gravatar Wow. I almost find no need to post here after seeing everybody cover every base. But I thought I would just make it known, because of this article, because of your stupidity, and because even after you made such an enormous mistake and STILL tried to defend yourself, I have decided I am pro-choice. It was a choice I'd been trying to make for a while now, I'm a very thoughtful person. But I will not be assosciated with people like you. So for all it might be worth, Thank you.
Apeirophobic | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 11:21 pm | #

Gravatar EAT A QUEER FETUS FOR JESUS
Ben Johnson | 07.11.06 - 11:23 pm | #

Wow. Do we have an official 'stupidest blogger on the net'? I think we do.
Aaron | 07.11.06 - 11:26 pm | #

oops.
me | 07.11.06 - 11:27 pm | #

Jesus says, "Don't be a dick".
Jesus | 07.11.06 - 11:29 pm | #

Gravatar YAMS YAMS YAMS YAMS YAMS
Jeff K | 07.11.06 - 11:29 pm | #

Gravatar Murderer? No way. Murder means "the unlawful killing of another human being." Since when was it unlawful?

And woo! Abortion! I wish I were a woman, so I could have one, too!
Thaddeus Jude | 07.11.06 - 11:31 pm | #

Gravatar Classic.
thinks_on_feet | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 11:34 pm | #

Gravatar HAHAHAHA YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING POWERFAGGOT
jerky mchicken | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 11:37 pm | #

Gravatar One you might have missed from this week's Onion is "Just Wait 'Til I Get These Fucking Rubber Bands Off" by Freddie the Lobster.

Judging by his photo, Freddie is indeed a real live lobster, so he *must* have written the accompanying column. Apparently, we are all in for it if somebody pulls the rubber bands off Freddie's claws, because he is seriously pissed.

I dunno if one of your retarded political theories like banning condoms has anything to with this at all. Just make sure you don't take the rubber bands off of Freddie's claws, because if he pinches me, I'll come after you next!

Oh wait, maybe the whole thing is a joke. Lobsters can't compose newspaper columns. Shit, how could I be so gullible!
ohman | 07.11.06 - 11:41 pm | #

We will MARCH! We will SHOUT! We will hack our babies out!
Oneder | 07.11.06 - 11:42 pm | #

Methinks you've inadvertently made an argument FOR abortion.
Sammy the Stem Cell | 07.11.06 - 11:42 pm | #

u r retarded
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 11:43 pm | #

It's okay Pete! You are now famous! You will soon be featured on CNN etc. One thing I must say is that you represent the right so damn well.

In a sigle bound you showed America why you are a part of the 38% who worshiip Bush. Did you hear about the librals fighting in Iraq?
Satire or saphire | 07.11.06 - 11:46 pm | #

http://itsmabus.info

Man, why do I even bother saying anything. It's not like he hasn't got the point yet.
Mabus | Homepage | 07.11.06 - 11:50 pm | #

Gravatar Who said The Onion is a humor magazine?
Since January 2001,
( e.g. starting with
http://www.theonion.com/content/...28&special=2001
) The Onion has reported more news correctly and truthfully than many esteemed newspapers and other mainstream media. So who can fault Pete for taking this Onion article as serious as too many of us take Fox News?
Dead Serious | 07.11.06 - 11:50 pm | #

Good to know you check your sources. Top notch job.
Anonymous | 07.11.06 - 11:53 pm | #

How do you feed yourself? You're so stupid the food would get lost from your plate to your mouth.
my gawd
norman | 07.12.06 - 12:02 am | #

Gravatar You are such a fucking idiot, just my kind of guy!! God told me he wants heaven to be a perfect place, so he is going to get rid of sinners, idiots, and fat people. I don't know if you are a sinner or if you are fat, but you are definitely an idiot, so my son, welcome to my kingdom!! I look forward to meeting you after you pass into eternity!! Unlike God, I don't discriminate and I welcome idiots like you!!
Satan | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 12:05 am | #

Hey,

I like your style. You should come and be an editor for my Wikipedia!

-Jimbo
Jimbo Wales | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 12:08 am | #

Gravatar Well, you embarrassed yourself in front of the entire internet, well done
Eric | 07.12.06 - 12:10 am | #

Just one more piece of evidence that pro-lifers aren't all there upstairs.
m-hmm | 07.12.06 - 12:11 am | #

Gravatar That was a gorgeously clueless article. Thanks for making my day.
Tim McCormack | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 12:14 am | #

in a word, Oniown3d.
Dum | 07.12.06 - 12:16 am | #

I have *enormous* respect for freedom of speech, no matter who's speaking; this is your blog and you're welcome to write whatever you want to on it. As Voltaire supposedly said, "I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." (I wouldn't quite go to THAT extreme..but then, I doubt Voltaire would have either, if it came right down to it.)

My concerns with your posting are that 1) You didn't do your homework when you quoted a satirical article, and 2) It sounds self-righteous. Where in that article was the supposed writer's marital status divulged? And why does it matter?

I respect anyone who firmly stands by their beliefs under fire, but I think your efforts are misguided.

(PS--I'm pro-life, too.)
Anon | 07.12.06 - 12:17 am | #

Gravatar DO YOU HAVE STAIRS IN YOUR HOUSE LOL
PENISES | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 12:18 am | #

Since you are so fucking retarded not to know The Onion is satire, here is another great Onion article that might shock you. If it is indeed true, you're probably damned to hell by now.

http://www.theonion.com/content/...tent/node/ 29540
Intellectual Insurgent | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 12:20 am | #

Gravatar Did anyone consider that this might be meta-sarcasm?

If only. Yes you are about the stupidest blogger on the Web. Funny how someone can acquire enough language skills to type on a keyboard and write sentences, but somehow have zero actual brain cells.

Jaw-droppingly idiotic.
not aborted | 07.12.06 - 12:22 am | #

Abortion is all part of God's Plan. See:

Understanding God's Plan
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 12:23 am | #

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHH AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH HAHAHAHAHHA! Stupid fucker.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 12:27 am | #

he changed his blog layout and disabled anonymous commenting. we should stop commenting here.

http://marchforlife.blogspot.com/

you can't comment there unless you have an account.
seennotheard | 07.12.06 - 12:29 am | #

Gravatar About five or six years ago the Onion did an awesome article about Harry Potter and how it teaches children to worship Satan. My mom's Bible study friends forwarded it to everyone they knew thinking it was real. God, I love the combination of the Onion and Christians.
Andrew | 07.12.06 - 12:30 am | #

"United we stand - Divided they die..."

Umm - I thought you were pro-life? What kind of motto is that?

Of course you totally missed the point of the article. Nobody looks forward to abortions, but people shouldn't be condemned for it either.
Get over it.

Please use your energy & money to help fight poverty and famine - you might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Let go of your anger, man.
Jesus did not promote anger, and I have a feeling you believe in Jesus - don't you? Why don't you do a little research and discover the love he promoted. WWJD?

I tell you he wouldn't behave like you!
Pearly | 07.12.06 - 12:30 am | #

NEW BLOG AT: marchforlife.blogspot.com
buttfucklover | 07.12.06 - 12:31 am | #

Gravatar OMG, this reminds me of when Focus on the Family believed an Onion story about gays recruiting young kids.

This would actually be funny if it weren't so sad. Sucks to be you dumbass.
Pirate fan | 07.12.06 - 12:34 am | #

Gravatar i can't add a thing to the discussion.
i just can't pile on.
nope not gonna do it.
as much as i would like to, not gonna happen.
uh uhh.

twit.
yupitsme | 07.12.06 - 12:37 am | #

Gravatar man.. at least put some AdSense ads and monetize this dumbiedumbie
nicozab | 07.12.06 - 12:37 am | #

When I was a child, I read a story of a woman who yelled at young boys of her own race because they were "perpetuating the stereotype." Now, I read your blog. PLEASE STOP BLOGGING. YOU'RE ONLY PERPETUATING THE STEREOTYPE THAT ALL CHRISTIANS ARE MORONS.

Dipshit.
Ben | 07.12.06 - 12:38 am | #

Interesting. I'll agree the blogger -- Pete -- made a silly mistake, here, mistaking The Onion for a serious publication. That's dumb. But it doesn't justify the bile that's been poured out here.

It's clear the real anger is directed at Pete because of his views. Which is, like I said, interesting.
Curious | 07.12.06 - 12:38 am | #

Gravatar It's clear the real anger is directed at Pete because of his views.

His view that the Democratic Party is the Nazi Party?

Great view.

>_>
sker | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 12:40 am | #

Hahahahaa.....everyone is entitled to their oppinion, but creating an argument against an Onion article...that's classic.

got to love the conservative right.
Sean | 07.12.06 - 12:48 am | #

Funny. bbs.fuckedcompany.com
. | 07.12.06 - 12:59 am | #

in the dictionary there is the word "dumbfuck" and your picture is next to it.
babies ate my dingo | 07.12.06 - 1:00 am | #

This is the funniest thing I've read on the internet. I don't feel sorry for him for a minute - he's not just a moron, he's an arrogant moron. He deserves all the scorn he gets.

He's exactly like all the right-wing talk show hosts. We can't make a dent by arguing with them - all we can do is laugh and laugh.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 1:00 am | #

Gravatar it's unfortunate that you thought the onion was a real news site of some sort. actually, it's astonishingly sad. but i think most of the people here are just bashing on you because you are a pro-lifer. in other words, if you were not a pro-lifer, no one would care that you thought the onion was real. they use the fact that you thought it was real as a sophomoric argument to announce and support their preexisting beliefs that pro-lifers are just mindless right-wing bible thumpers, or something. so, the reddit title "pro-lifer thinks the onion is real" is just unfair, cuz you being a pro-lifer has no bearing on the fact that you thought the onion was real, and vice versa. anyway, open up your mind, take care.
kevin | 07.12.06 - 1:01 am | #

Wow you ARE a sensation Pete--you already have your own entry on wikipedia!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Mar...gether_For_Life
jimbo | 07.12.06 - 1:05 am | #

You're an idiot.

I'm so happy people like you exist. A: For the sheer joy I get when seeing a complete idiot while not trying to dodge them in my car. And B: Because people like you make my above average successes seem GODLIKE to my boss.

So, thank you for the continual employment opportunities I am afforded because you're almost too dumb to breathe. Oh, and the raises too - because they know they'd have to hire stupid people like you if I were to become bored or dissatisfied.

BWAH!
Ghryswald | 07.12.06 - 1:07 am | #

Thank you for making abortion funny.
Steve Gibson | 07.12.06 - 1:14 am | #

How the hell did you not know this was a sarcastic article? How do you breathe?

What the fuck?
Liam | 07.12.06 - 1:15 am | #

Pete, honey. Ignore these liberal trash bags. These commie traitors hate God and want every child aborted. I support your article. I think you should run your next entry on the homosexual agenda.

Here is a post by another God fearing Christian like ourselves.

http://www.misanthropic-bitch.co...al_agenda.html/
HeidiFleiss | 07.12.06 - 1:16 am | #

I sincerely, deeply hope that you are being as sarcastic as The Onion itself. Otherwise, it's just too terrifying.

Go. Read other articles on The Onion. Please. The ENTIRE WEB SITE IS IMAGINARY AND FOR ENTERTAINMENT.

I'm just shocked. And scared. That someone would not know that.

If you yourself are joking...wow. You're brilliant.
Sarah | 07.12.06 - 1:17 am | #

Gravatar Congratulations on becoming known as the stupidest blogger on earth on Wikipedia (the 5th most popular website on the internet).
Michael Skelton | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:17 am | #

God...American conservative Republican douchebags are all like this idiot. That's what's scary.
American | 07.12.06 - 1:20 am | #

Gravatar A very good Post. Only on thing bothers me. Isn't more honest to cite you plagerism? Who would Jesus steal from?
John | 07.12.06 - 1:28 am | #

I feel much better being pro-life now, with such informed activists by my side.

._.
Michelle | 07.12.06 - 1:33 am | #

Gravatar Ok. so there are those who believe the hilarious Onion is right, that Colbert is a comedian not a Satirist, that there were weapons of Mass destruction and the Swift Boat Vets really had a valid beef...These are the No voter left Behind poster children, who unfortunately make up the 23 percent of this country that consistently keep this country in the below average performance percentile in leadership. Can we get a standard IQ test for voting? The GOP would have withered before Ronnie. We all would be wealthier and empowered today. Tax cuts are fine for the apostles, not GOP CEOs,
When there's corporate greed "trickle down" needs more than a plunger.
Boomsandra777 | 07.12.06 - 1:33 am | #

Gravatar Ok. so there are those who believe the hilarious Onion is right, that Colbert is a comedian not a Satirist, that there were weapons of Mass destruction and the Swift Boat Vets really had a valid beef...These are the No voter left Behind poster children, who unfortunately make up the 23 percent of this country that consistently keep this country in the below average performance percentile in leadership. Can we get a standard IQ test for voting? The GOP would have withered before Ronnie. We all would be wealthier and empowered today. Tax cuts are fine for the apostles, not GOP CEOs,
When there's corporate greed "trickle down" needs more than a plunger.
Boomsandra777 | 07.12.06 - 1:33 am | #

you took a mildly funny article about abortion and made it into the funniest abortion related web topic in years. congrats, pete!
aborted | 07.12.06 - 1:34 am | #

The truly pathetic aspect of his whining is that his peeps have controlled the Congressional, Judicial, and Executive branches for six years, and still haven't overturned Roe v. Wade. The Christian-Right isn't even smart enough to recognize that the creeps they support couldn't care less about abortion, but keep saying what they want to hear to steal their votes.
ChefboyRD | 07.12.06 - 1:41 am | #

Gravatar gods wicked gay babies are homos suck them faggots out!!!
jed | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:49 am | #

People, give him a break. Some people are brand spanking new to the internet. He also probably doesn't know anything about the Flying Spaghetti Monster, so you really should spell things out instead of just talking about the FSM.

He's bashing college education because of you people. So yes, I agree that this guy is a moron
Detrius | 07.12.06 - 1:52 am | #

Gravatar bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks
seven | 07.12.06 - 1:59 am | #

Its people like you that make the pro-choice movement look hip, and sophisticated. Keep up the good work.
ProDeath4Life | 07.12.06 - 2:04 am | #

Dear lord! how stupid are you? I mean really? DAMN! stupid religious right douche bag, get a life and a job you society draining prick.

Those familiar with his show, I'd say this is a case of Real life copies the Phil Hendrie Show.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 2:05 am | #

I jerked off into a sock, nana told me that was the equivalent to abortion and that i'm doing the dark lord's work... she gimped me and forced me into a full body rubber suit with an open seam near my butthole. Some1 help me I think she invited her prolife buddies to pillage my buttsack!!!!
captblack | 07.12.06 - 2:11 am | #

That was the best thing ever. And I'd say you were an Elevator Operator as well - but in a one story building!

Oh, by the way, just to let you in on a BIG SCOOP...Bigfoot is the father of Angelina's baby.

Shhhh, don't tell anyone!
Neener Neener | 07.12.06 - 2:13 am | #

Well first off this is an adult talking to adults.
All this is free form. Meaning that I don't give a damn about spelling or grammar. So if that is a problem for you then this probably ain't for you either. It's off the top of my head stuff, trying to sort out emotions. Call it therapy.

OK, now what????????

I find myself asking this question alot lately. This thread has been started because of a mistake a very well-meaning man made. He's on the path of life and it's his journey. and a few of you may think that journey is wrong or backwards, but I won't get into any of the nitty gritty now, he's just a human being, like all of you.

Like many of you, I'm not sure if I like the term "pro-aborts" either. I prefer to think of myself as an "open lifer", so maybe we can call the debating side "open aborter".

What's the difference. I don't know. I guess I still have a lot of the Catholic hang-ups about sex and women having rights.
William | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:23 am | #

Gravatar Hmm... It's ok honey, I forgive you for making an ass out of your self.
mike | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:26 am | #

Gravatar You are one dumb son of a bitch. I take solace in the fact that people like you will eventually die out.

Oh and since you are a dense idiot let me point out that I just alluded to Darwin.
Topher | 07.12.06 - 2:32 am | #

I am very happy to see so many devout Pastafarians in the world.
Keep up the good work my bretheran!

Oh, and Pete, your an idiot.
Rivaltuna | 07.12.06 - 2:32 am | #

Gravatar omfg....thx for that. someone should nominate you for douchebag of the year.
bgrillz | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:38 am | #

William -- It was started because of a mistake. The problem is, after he made the mistake, instead of admitting he goofed, he roughly tried claiming that the Onion article wasn't satire and that pro-choice women are often just like or similar to Caroline Weber. He then used an anecdote to try to prove it. I'm not surprised this tactic has landed him more ridicule, in fact, I would be surprised if it didn't. I feel bad about the flames but I kind of think they are to be expected.

Ohya, try getting over those hangups, especially the "women having rights" one.

Peace whether or not you're just joking around.
June | 07.12.06 - 2:39 am | #

Gravatar Tnank you for proving that Christian fundies are too stupid to recognize or understand satire.
KatMar | 07.12.06 - 2:46 am | #

Amazing. Totally fucking amazing.
Mara | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:53 am | #

Gravatar Dear Abby,

There's this idiot blogger who got taken in by a satiric article by the Onion, and I have this overwhelming urge to mock him.

What should I do? On the one hand, you know the old saying about how if you can't say anything nice about someone. On the other hand, I might not see a more clueless person for the rest of my life, and I feel that I should write something to commemorate this.

Sincerely,
Snickering in Seattle | 07.12.06 - 2:53 am | #

This has to be the best thing I've seen happen on the internet.
PandoraMaggot | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:58 am | #

Gravatar Folks, when you're reaming out Mr. Prolife PeaBrain here, please do not use sarcasm or satire or irony or parody. Do not speak quickly. Do not use big vocabulary words.

Talk. Very. Slowly. And. Throw. In. A. Bible. Verse.

Anything else is wayyyy over his poor little Bible-banger head.
CourtneyMD | 07.12.06 - 3:02 am | #

We have a winner!
Zedd | 07.12.06 - 3:06 am | #

Gravatar lol @ you
thomas j servo | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 3:06 am | #

Gravatar This spectacle (ie. the post AND the commentary) is truly one of the more sad and absurd things I've seen on the web. I had assumed that this was meta-satire until I saw some of the other posts on your blog.

Pete, I may not agree with your politics or your belief system, but I'm not gonna slam you the way some of the people above have. Not only would it be horribly rude (for which I would like to reprimand those above for such a lack of respect and human sympathy), it also would be totally counter-productive in trying to rectify the problem that made this post (and others like it) possible.

You made a mistake, Pete--a pretty big one--out of what amounts to ignorance, which is not necessarily your fault. That's understandable, however, please take this as a lesson that there are many things in the world that you are also ignorant of and that you may be equally mistaken about. I encourage you to broaden your perspectives, learn as much as you can, and read more. Especially read and watch and listen to things that confront you with opinions that you don't agree with so that you can better define and defend exactly what you believe. Trust me, you'll be a better person for it.

Aside from that, do your best to ignore the snarky commentary from the folks above, who are of course, in their own way, as big of jackasses and idiots as they accuse you of being. After all, if they had more productive, worthwhile lives, they'd find something better to do than troll the internet spewing coward's catcalls and lording their supposed superior intellects over others during those brief moment that they're not wanking at meaningless, unfulfilling porn.

Good luck, Pete.
Bengoshi Bear | 07.12.06 - 3:17 am | #

Gravatar Where's this nihlistic porn you're looking at? My porn is very fulfilling and quite meaningful. If it wasn't, I wouldn't spend hours a day doing it.

Holy shit, Bengosi. Get over yourself. You're posting in a blog's comments for Christ's sake. What could be more meaningless than that?
AbortBengoshiNow | 07.12.06 - 3:35 am | #

Fuck it, I have nothing better to do. LOL! You win on the internets.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 3:38 am | #

You are quite possibly the best case study for post-birth abortions ever. Congrats on being stupid enough to make my ears bleed.
NightGod | 07.12.06 - 3:46 am | #

I think you just single-handedly pushed back the pro-life movement a few years. Next time check to make sure the people you call down your self-righteous indignation on actually exist.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 3:46 am | #

@bengoshi

"lording their supposed superior intellects over others"

Talk about hypocricy... It's been a long time since I read such a pretentious blogcomment.
Oersoep | 07.12.06 - 3:46 am | #

Gravatar Pete, I've got an idea, why don't you blog about all the dead children unborn and born who have been killed in Iraq by your crusading Christian leader, George B*sh?
sin_bad | 07.12.06 - 3:47 am | #

Yeah, I don't think 'winning' on the internet tends to mean anything. And it's a huge time-waster. I can't believe I'm still up. I mean, I've said before, I feel for the guy (Pete), though I totally disagree with him and think it's kinda crazy that this wasn't handled better on his part. Then again, this is a personal blog. People must post silly gems fairly often. It's just that this one got so much attention, probably because it has to do with abortion and the Onion. He got around 90,000 hits today? I wish I wrote something that would inspire that many visitors a day! Then again, I'm not sure I'd want to be infamous.
June | 07.12.06 - 3:47 am | #

Gravatar You say that you "wrote the blog in a way that was meant to point out how psychotic the pro-abortion movement is". So this "way" that you wrote it - did it have anything to do with accepting at face value an invented personification of every pro-life stereotype, exaggerated beyond the point of ridiculousness? If so, how would this approach do anything other than "point out how psychotic the pro-abortion movement is"? Admit it, you fell for it, and the reason you fell for it is because you actually believe that people who get abortions are inhuman and ignorant of ALL scruples. That's the root cause of your mistake. This isn't Christ's teaching. If you imagine that the world is filled with devils, you'll see devils. If you think it's filled with angels, you'll see angels. In fact, every person has a bit of both, and the trick is to minimize the devil and maximize the angel. Christ taught that spending your time looking for evil in others leaves you that much less time to see it in yourself. I think your heart is in the right place though, so I wish you a peaceful resolution, may you please forgive the mean people who criticize without love, they are as mistaken as you were. Anti-abortion folks are folks too, and it's rare to see a family undivided by the issue. Why focus on unresolvable issues that divide us when there are so many things that need to be done in areas where we can agree. Just remember, it's the dehumanization of those you disagree with that is the real mistake, understanding this can perhaps help you forgive the misguided people who are trying to make you feel bad. You can't blame them because you were doing the same thing, trying to make people feel bad. Except you were trying to do it anonymously and with apparent good intentions. Nevertheless, you held your antagonist up for ridicule, and in the end karma was instant. It's rather poetic actually. Live and learn!
Thomas Gardner | 07.12.06 - 3:50 am | #

You also should use your own copy of the image, you leech.
Pierre | 07.12.06 - 3:54 am | #

Gravatar I can't believe how that girl likes abortions. She pretends that she is lucky but I know deep down in her heart she is a very sad little girl. Why is it that she pretends to love murdering unborn babies? Because she thinks it looks cool but it doesn't. Once in a while she might think back on this whole killing and regret it. Especially when she goes to hell. Even if she asks for forgiveness she probably won't get it because Jesus is against abortion. Anyway she should apologize for all the pain she caused all the people who know about her murder because she is a liar and killer
When she goes to Hell she will know that I was right.
John Edwards | 07.12.06 - 4:01 am | #

*Pete-thetic.
*Pete-fall.
*Pete-y.
Please 'choose' the one you like ...
toto113 | 07.12.06 - 4:13 am | #

You, my kind sir, are a full cans short of a six pack.
Greg | 07.12.06 - 4:14 am | #

Reveal thyself, oh great genius Pete of the anti-choice movement. Reveal thy true nature! Who are you? Where are you?

Seriously, the only thing that outweighs the utter obnoxiousness of your argument and your beliefs about women is the utter hilarity you have induced in hundreds of thousands of people on this great day.

Your mother's amniocentesis didn't go well, did it? Carrying to term the likes of you was a truly regrettable decision.
Kittens | 07.12.06 - 4:27 am | #

Gravatar John Edwards, go back to dribbling in front of Fox News!
Simon | 07.12.06 - 4:27 am | #

Gravatar Pete,

You're the man! You're the poster child for the Christian right. You have it all: arrogance, ignorance and iniquity.

Give yourself a pat on the back; you've single-handedly converted at least dozens, probably hundreds, maybe thousands who were on the fence to pro-choice.

No one wants to stand with a pathetic laughing stock like you.

Keep up the good work. Don't ever stop failing!
Joe | 07.12.06 - 4:44 am | #

I just want to say thank you for your efforts on behalf of the anti-choice movement and the Republican Party. America needs more people like you to speak up and explain what they would like to do to our nation. Bravo!
fnord from cruel.com | 07.12.06 - 4:45 am | #

Gravatar I think you just made the case for the pro-abortion crowd!!! Imagine a world where we could screen out the retards like yourself.....
Stunned | 07.12.06 - 5:03 am | #

Guys.

GUYS.

We have been duped!

This is a satire site too.

Oh man. Fooled me.
Keep the faith | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 5:08 am | #

god bless you for this hilarious post
hohum | 07.12.06 - 5:24 am | #

Abortion is giving a child the opportunity to bypass hell and go straight to heaven without ever having to experience dealing with morons like you. How can that be bad?
LOL | 07.12.06 - 5:35 am | #

lawl.
anonymous | 07.12.06 - 5:44 am | #

This person fails at life desu.
DESU | 07.12.06 - 5:50 am | #

although i prefer fingering, i will engage in deep and vigorous penetration with the man who maintains this site. maybe he will impregnate me. maybe he will make me into his female slave.
observer | 07.12.06 - 5:54 am | #

Gravatar We need your help protesting against bonsaikitten.com! They kill kittens!
anaphylol | 07.12.06 - 6:04 am | #

Ah, stuff like this is what I made my blog for.

Thanks for reaffirming my faith that the Christian right is doing more to cut down its own cause than the left ever could. Ta-ta!
Hanoko | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 6:23 am | #

I did consider this may be a double bluff because, you know, the onion being satire and all. Turns out you are just stupid!
MattyT | 07.12.06 - 6:38 am | #

Gravatar How could you possibly think that The Onion was a serious site? Their headline today is - "UN orders Wonka to submit to Chocolate Factory inspections"

Do you think thats true too?

Ass
Honestly! | 07.12.06 - 6:39 am | #

I'm glad I read that piece. "Un chef d'oeuvre", nothing less.
Kuro | 07.12.06 - 6:40 am | #

It's funny now because everybody hates you. :D :D :D
You = Lame | 07.12.06 - 6:42 am | #

Wow. That's all I can say. Seriously my friend, I'm definitely pro-life, but tilting at windmills calling them giants won't help your cause any.
Robert | 07.12.06 - 7:00 am | #

I'm assuming you don't have the mental capacity to breathe for yourself.

If so, did it take long to drag the oxygen tank to your 'pooter? Be careful that you don't expend too much of your valuable breath-in-a-bottle, otherwise you face the risk of running out of oxygen on your way back to the commode.

And your death from asphyxiation would be a VERY sad loss to the internet, to democracy, and to office workers in need of a good laugh around the world.
VoodooMike | 07.12.06 - 7:02 am | #

I wish your mother had aborted you and saved us all from the STUPID
hmm | 07.12.06 - 7:13 am | #

You are joking, right? I refuse to believe that anyone can make such a ridiculous mistake. Ha Ha
Al Myles | 07.12.06 - 7:22 am | #

Gravatar Pete said: "Sorry ma'am, if you hadn't had sex you wouldn't have gotten pregnant, it's not the HMO's fault for not supporting your promiscuity while not married."

Married people don't have abortions? Maybe someone does not want a child born during wartime, under the rule of an opressive government. Maybe I want to wait until a 'happier' time when I can think back when my child was brought into this world and not remember thousands of innocents being murdered by our government.

Oh I sounded serious there. Hey Pete, the Onion is FAKE!
The Hermit | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 7:31 am | #

You are SO dumb!
Chris | 07.12.06 - 7:42 am | #

Dumb? That would mean there is some part of the brain left working. I would say braindead!
Polo | 07.12.06 - 7:58 am | #

Gravatar What's scarier, that you believed this article or that you believed this article??!!!
With people like you running the show it’s no wonder we are going to hell in a bucket!

We are doomed, doomed I say!!
Lee | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 8:00 am | #

Gravatar I would think you may be embarrassed, but then again…
Dorian Gray | 07.12.06 - 8:02 am | #

*stares at screen*

*blinks*

*blinks again*

You're for real, right?
schlager_lout | 07.12.06 - 8:15 am | #

You are not removing/deleting/aborting the post?
This means your article is a fake one as well ... Good joke, you smart guy! Thanks for the laugh.
toto113 | 07.12.06 - 8:16 am | #

Gravatar Is there some sort of contest for world's stupidest person and this is the winning entry?
Confused | 07.12.06 - 8:18 am | #

Gravatar LMAO. Thanks for the laugh...no, not your serious comments on this piece of satire, but for allowing to finally know the most ignorant man on the planet. Truly, I hope they pickle your brain in formaldehyde after you're gone...scientists will have a field day studying it...or better yet, it might make it on to the carny circuit.
Chris | 07.12.06 - 8:22 am | #

Gravatar Normal people are stupid, and thusly, normal people should not try to be journalists.
asdf | 07.12.06 - 8:26 am | #

Gravatar Hello from the UK! We are all laughing at you here now! This is what we truly believe all Americans outside New York to be like. Keep up the good work.
meat2veg | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 8:35 am | #

Gravatar I always suspected anti-choicers were stupid. Thanks for the very public confirmation.
scott | 07.12.06 - 8:37 am | #

Gravatar I'm sorry but I simply cannot belive that Pete really exists. How can someone really be that stupid and still be able to operate a computer. Even if you didn't know The Onion is a parody news site, read the article in question and it's obviously not real. I refuse to belive that someone with so few working brain-cells could still be breating. Time to admit this is also a parody site anti-abortion sites.
Clyde | 07.12.06 - 8:46 am | #

You're a moron.
Tulsa Pete | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 8:46 am | #

Gravatar Given this and his follow-up post, I'm guessing this is a person who may have an autistic disorder. An inability to identify or understand satire and tone is a pretty common symptom. That is, even when you explain it to him, he can't see why he's wrong. You can make someone look up "satire" in the dictionary, but you can't make him understand it.
A White Bear | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 8:48 am | #

Gravatar Awww... you're a real mensa candidate, aren't you? Sound it out with me: the ON-I-ON...

You pollute the gene pool. Don't ever have children.

Get a grip, grab a helmet, and climb back on the short bus where you belong.
oy... | 07.12.06 - 8:48 am | #

Gravatar Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! YOU'RE SO STUPID!!!
Daniel | 07.12.06 - 8:58 am | #

please watch your grammar. it offends me.

I'm not going to "condemn you to hell",

Commas before end quotes.
pro-grammar | 07.12.06 - 8:59 am | #

Gravatar You are now a double secret moron for arguing your beliefs against a bogus article.

Stop trying to push your beliefs on others. Even if it were real, the fact someone would have an abortion would have no bearing on your life. So live your own life ...and we all hope that the first dumptruck you see ends it.
Moron | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 9:03 am | #

THE ONION IS A FAKE NEWS SOURCE! WRITTEN ENTIRELY TO CONFUSE AND ENRAGE HICKS!
mbent | 07.12.06 - 9:08 am | #

"United we stand - Divided they die - Pass it on"
Very "pro life" indeed...
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 9:13 am | #

Gravatar After over 800 comments, won't you please pull this blog entry? Or do you *want* people to believe this is how women who choose abortion think?
d regina | 07.12.06 - 9:16 am | #

Gravatar Satire on satire = ?
J. Gilooly | 07.12.06 - 9:17 am | #

Gravatar The Onion is a real news site. Good job, Pete!
Stankleberry | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 9:17 am | #

There really needs to be a law that people cannot blog if their IQ is below 30. But, if it wasn't for idiots like this, who else would smart people laugh at.
Against the idiot | 07.12.06 - 9:22 am | #

You deserve to be forever mocked.
You are shining example of the Neocon "mind" at work.

WHAT A STOOGE!
fetus | 07.12.06 - 9:26 am | #

wow. All I can say.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 9:28 am | #

It is interesting how your hate comes out. Does it really matter that the Onion is satire?
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 9:29 am | #

Gravatar thank god that you cant be seen on the web... cause you would look embarrased
Iamataman | 07.12.06 - 9:33 am | #

Gravatar Haha, dummy! The Onion is satire. If you really think pro-choice people would say or believe any of that, you're clearly not open to any rational debate on the topic. You fail the Internets.
The Ascended Daniel Jackson | 07.12.06 - 9:35 am | #

Dude, you put the "E" in "Stupid"
Sarkasba | 07.12.06 - 9:42 am | #

Gravatar I am the king of china and i eat babies. want to write an article about me now?
yomomma | 07.12.06 - 9:49 am | #

I guess by now you have gotten the message that you really did something stupid here. Zealotry and mindless judgement of others will do that...perhaps you can use this as a reminder of how far you will need to travel to live in CHRIST.
i feel sorry for you | 07.12.06 - 9:51 am | #

Gravatar Whooooooooooosh!
James Blacksmith | 07.12.06 - 9:52 am | #

Look at the bright side. Inspite of the landslide of negative comments at least your an internet phenomenom now.
Billy Goat | 07.12.06 - 9:54 am | #

jesus titty-fucking christ that was funny... please can we have more asshattery
JTFC | 07.12.06 - 9:56 am | #

Gravatar I'm sorry, but are you stupid?!?! The Onion is SATIRE. It's not the slightest bit serious or even true!

Go read some of the other articles before you go popping off in your little "I don't like abortion so I want to forbid you from doing it" rag.
Onion Reader | 07.12.06 - 10:08 am | #

Gravatar I have officially lost all faith in not only religion but in humanity as well. Thank you Pete.
segmentation fault | 07.12.06 - 10:09 am | #

I don't need the girl. I DON'T NEED THE GIRL!
Bennett | 07.12.06 - 10:17 am | #

Gravatar Probably the funniest (unintentionally) article I have ever read.

Bravo, stupid.
Tyler | 07.12.06 - 10:19 am | #

Dude, are you going to pull an "Oprah" here? Are you going to post something about "it's irrelevant...what did or did not happen," or "the underlying message...still resonates with me?" Because you know how that story ended, right? Oprah apologizing, and admitting that she was wrong. Resonance is no substitue for Truth. So please just 'fess up, admit you made a mistake by believing a work of satire to be true, and move on.
RobK | 07.12.06 - 10:29 am | #

This is almost as good as the recent blog about the guy who sold a broken computer to some unsuspecting soul through Ebay and wouldn't refund his money. The purchaser then discovered that said moron had neglected to erase all sorts of compromising personal information from the hard drive and has been posting bits and pieces.

How do people who think like that moron and the present one manage to even survive into adulthood?

Oh, wait, it's probably because abortion was probably illegal when they were concieved.
Joining the crowd | 07.12.06 - 10:30 am | #

You should submit this to the Onion.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 10:38 am | #

Gravatar Why yes, I would like fries with that.
wooderson | 07.12.06 - 10:41 am | #

Gravatar HAHAHAHA, you are such a complete fucking IDIOT. oh man, oh man, wait for it wait for it...there you go, your IQ just dropped it's final point, now you are on the same level as an amoeba!
LOL | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 10:42 am | #

Gravatar Please, please, please do the world a favor and don't procreate. And yes, this means a life of celibacy for you. I'm okay with that.
Heather | 07.12.06 - 10:43 am | #

What a loser.
Peeing Myself Laughing | 07.12.06 - 10:45 am | #

Gravatar Abortion is hillarious!!!!
Bill | 07.12.06 - 10:48 am | #

sat·ire ( P ) Pronunciation Key (str)
n.

A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.
The branch of literature constituting such works. See Synonyms at caricature.
Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity.


-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
[Latin satira, probably alteration (influenced by Greek satur, satyr, and saturos, burlesque of a mythical episode), of (lanx) satura, fruit (plate) mixture, from feminine of satur, sated, well-fitted. See s- in Indo-European Roots.]
Peeing Myself Laughing | 07.12.06 - 10:49 am | #

Gravatar I'm not saying that this person is this smart to consider this, but his lack of satire post and everyone's linking to it will probably provide the "MonthlyCallForLife.com" website some very valuable increase in pagerank in google.

The entry is so clueless, I wonder if it's just a ploy for attention and/or traffic.
conspiracy robot | 07.12.06 - 10:51 am | #

This is funnier than the Onion ever was.
Ken | 07.12.06 - 10:51 am | #

Oh, man. That was seriously funny. Thanks for the laughs. I don't think I've ever seen anyone so completely miss the point of an Onion article before. Frankly, I didn't think I'd ever be *able* to see such a thing, given what I consider to be the incredibly obvious nature of the comedy therein. I guess there's no underestimating human intelligence and perceptiveness.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 11:01 am | #

Gravatar wow, you must feel so stupid, you totally made my day. I'll pray for you.
dia fram | 07.12.06 - 11:03 am | #

Normally, I don't join pile-ons.
But for you, I'll make an exception.

Were it a crime to be a clueless fucktard, you'd be serving ten consecutive life sentences. Without hope of parole.

Oh, and no-one is "pro-abortion". It's just that Bible-humping asshats such as yourself don't allow anyone to be "pro-birth control" which would, you know, prevent the conception which would have to be aborted to kill the cat that swallowed the rat that lived in the house that Jack built.

You do know where babies come from, right? Just checking.

Smooches and stay out of the sun.
Dick Mangler | 07.12.06 - 11:05 am | #

Gravatar God hates your blog.
Nölff | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 11:06 am | #

Gravatar I believe my morning glass of milk comes from cats.
Lawrence Orbach | 07.12.06 - 11:12 am | #

Miss Caroline Webber is totally HOT. I so want her to abort my baby.
Derek | 07.12.06 - 11:15 am | #

Gravatar Congratulations!

You're officially the stupidest person on the internet.
Chad Riden | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 11:16 am | #

Classic...
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 11:17 am | #

Gravatar Hahahahahaha! You Right-to-Life morons once again prove how fucking STOOPID you are. No wonder you losers believe all those half-baked Hebraic fairly tales about "God." Your tiny little brains can't even distinguish satire from reality. You obviously believe everything you read and don't have the intellectual maturity or capacity to make rational, adult choices. Sorry, but morons like you don't even deserve to vote - let alone try and tell the rest of us what should and shouldn't be legal. You are the dumbest fucking hillbilly shitheads on God's green earth, and proof that what America needs are MORE abortions, not less. Morons like you should be wiped off the fucking earth for your stupidity alone.
Fetus- Eatin' Freddie | 07.12.06 - 11:18 am | #

all amerikan women are whores that need to be made slaves of arab
abdull | 07.12.06 - 11:19 am | #

Gravatar Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies"
SimmerDown | 07.12.06 - 11:22 am | #

You stupid. fucking. assbag.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 11:24 am | #

Gravatar Wow, you rightwing Christianist lunatics just get dumber and dumber, dontcha?

This kind of stupidity is exactly why sane and civilized Americans want you nowhere near our laws.
Fetus- Eatin Freddie | 07.12.06 - 11:27 am | #

You're a moron.
Jade | 07.12.06 - 11:31 am | #

Gravatar I didn't think it was possible for anything to be funnier than The Onion. Thankfully, you have proved me wrong. You're high-friggin-sterical!

Here's hoping you haven't already passed on your obviously inadequate genome. If not, here's hoping the unlucky woman is "pro-abortion!"
geejit | 07.12.06 - 11:31 am | #

Jesus still loves you.
gerg | 07.12.06 - 11:32 am | #

HA!
What rock did you crawl out from under?!
Who the hell doesn't know that the Onion isn't a satire site ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD!!?? They've been profiled on NBC's Dateline and the satire piece they did on Mohammed Atta immediately after 9/11 was one of the most forwarded articles on the web EVER!
Their books are frequently on display in every major book store chain and.......oh, but that would require reading skills and a desire to actually walk into a bookstore. Nevermind.
Idon'tbelieveyou'rethisstupid | 07.12.06 - 11:36 am | #

Gravatar Are you f**king kidding me? You are an idiot!

Seriously, don't leave your home anymore - the sophisticated world out there may be too dangerous for you!
dumbstruck | 07.12.06 - 11:41 am | #

Gravatar Oh for Lord's sake, it's a joke.
gail | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 11:50 am | #

you fucking idiot.
screwsan | 07.12.06 - 11:52 am | #

HONEY,
Get a life. The Onion ISN'T REAL, in case you haven't figured that out yet. YOU ARE STUPID.

Here's another story from The Onion, "Kim Jong Il Unfolds Into Giant Robot" http://www.theonion.com/content/...28&special=2003
Tom | 07.12.06 - 11:56 am | #

Gravatar She has a good point. She should take her own advise. She sucks. pro-choice. SSD RULES!!!!
SSD | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 11:59 am | #

With ignorant actions like this, the next thing you know, he might start criticizing films that satire religion (Like Kevin Smith's "Dogma") before even SEEING the film first.

Oh wait... the Religious right DID do that. My bad.
Dave | 07.12.06 - 12:00 pm | #

You are dumber than a box of rocks.
Thank God I'm Not You | 07.12.06 - 12:03 pm | #

Ignorant blogging
Opinions fly from your ass
Millions point and laugh







That was a haiku, by the way, just in case you've never heard of them either.


Personally, I think you should get all your material from the Onion.
Keep 'em coming | 07.12.06 - 12:03 pm | #

Gravatar How does Pete manage to get along in society without a brain or any critical thinking skills? I seriously wonder about people like Pete, who are so pork stupid that they can't understand a parody when they see it.
Sara | 07.12.06 - 12:11 pm | #

WOW, you have to be the dumbest fuck wad I have ever seen.
Steve | 07.12.06 - 12:13 pm | #

Gravatar If people like this Pete had been aborted who would we laugh at? I say put a bang on coat hangers. God bless.
Sheepdog | 07.12.06 - 12:13 pm | #

Wow, you're an idiot. The Onion is not a serious publication!
Hooves | 07.12.06 - 12:17 pm | #

I believe this guy is the posterchild for retroactive birth control that I've been looking for.
Amesha Spenta | 07.12.06 - 12:22 pm | #

Gravatar Pete, When you awaken from your heroine high, read your post. I recommend a high dose of Dramamine just prior to that event though. Death by laughter is nothing to laugh about.
Hayseed | 07.12.06 - 12:23 pm | #

Gravatar "We call, email and/or march to let our representatives know that we will not stop until they stop the killing of innocent human beings!"

You so called "pro-lifers" better get your hypocritical asses to Iraq then.....innocent human beings are being killed by the score there daily and yet you support that. By the way, if you do go...pick up this thing called an IED. It's a.....toy! Yeah...that's the ticket..it's a toy. Have fun assclown. In your honor, I'm going to go get a woman knocked up and force her to have an abortion, just like your "hero" Georgie Bush.
Otisburg | 07.12.06 - 12:24 pm | #

Gravatar well...all comments aside...there are FAR too many people to feed, take care of, etc...there are MANY babies and children without care, or parents who care...so what i want to ask, if you really value the sanctity of life, please adopt...you know, the children who are already here...otherwise as i see it, your passionate beliefs are without substance.
Stephen Windsor | 07.12.06 - 12:24 pm | #

Pete says that The Onion is "Fair and Balanced"
nonimportante | 07.12.06 - 12:26 pm | #

u r dumb
fatrobot | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 12:31 pm | #

Oh muh gawd. I feel so sorry for you. Obviously, critical thinking skills are frowned upon in christo-fascist republican circles. This just in...Ken Lay and the Bay Boy team up for Metropolis CRIME SPREE! I read it on the internets so of course it's true!
MYRNA MINX | 07.12.06 - 12:35 pm | #

Instead of praying for the forgiveness of a fictious person in a satirical article...pray real hard for a brain.
Kim | 07.12.06 - 12:38 pm | #

Gravatar Pete should have been an abortion.
bob | 07.12.06 - 12:43 pm | #

The Onion is a terrible tool of left-wing propoganda.

A few years ago, Fred Phelps cited this article in exposing the reality of The Homosexual Recruitment Drive:

http://www.theonion.com/content/...tent/node/ 28970
Kumbafu Kuma | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 12:47 pm | #

You're quite a moron. Way to go!
LOL | 07.12.06 - 12:47 pm | #

Moron.
Ed | 07.12.06 - 12:48 pm | #

Hahah. My "Right Wing Quarter-Wit Believes Onion Article, Is Enraged" article that I was writing for The Onion has had to be aborted. I'm coming after you, buddyboy.
Beepape O'Ropaps | 07.12.06 - 12:49 pm | #

you are the dumbest piece of shit i've ever seen. you don't know what the onion is, and you're using this as your eVIDdence! this is why you are so so wrong, always.

go be a fucking lemming!
hahah | 07.12.06 - 12:51 pm | #

Awesome!
Kent C. Johnson | 07.12.06 - 12:52 pm | #

Gravatar I think you meant this as a satire of a satire, right? Promise me you did!
Yikes! | 07.12.06 - 12:54 pm | #

Immortalize the evil, abortion lovin' Ms. Weber with a commemorative t-shirt, beer stein, poster, more!

http://www.cafepress.com/ feralvi...isions.65565584
sum dim | 07.12.06 - 12:54 pm | #

Gravatar Man, are all you pro-bots this thick, or are you just a special case?
The Concordian | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 12:55 pm | #

Gravatar You may well be the dumbest motherfucker alive. Jesus Christ you suck.
Kyuzo | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 12:57 pm | #

I can't help but feel quite guilty though. Peteyboy's wishing he had been aborted now. Aww.
Beepape O'Ropaps | 07.12.06 - 12:58 pm | #

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Dustin | 07.12.06 - 1:01 pm | #

This doesn't really prove that the poster is an idiot. It just proves the point we on the other side keep trying to make--that these anti-choicers can't understand a full argument. They can't see the whole picture. They are easily taken in by buzzwords and demogagic politicians who manipulate their beliefs and then wind up just stealing money from them. Pete here is the epitomy of the Bush supporter--can't tell the difference between truth and satire, and unquestioningly believes everything he wishes were true.
Justsaying | 07.12.06 - 1:04 pm | #

This is what happens when bottom-feeders learn to type. Back away from the computer and return to sitting on the couch with your World Weekly News, idiot.
SoCal Mic | 07.12.06 - 1:08 pm | #

Gravatar How is it that no one's deleted this yet? Are the webmasters of this site still so busy examining the insides of their own asses that they haven't noticed how retarded this makes them look and hurts their cause?

I hope it's 'cuz they're out adopting all the babies they've saved from abortions. You know, the ones now neglected and in foster care. No? Didn't think so.
Kathi B | 07.12.06 - 1:08 pm | #

It's on THE ONION, moron.

It's called SATIRE.

Wingers are too stupid to live.
Terry C, Patriotic Dissenter | 07.12.06 - 1:10 pm | #

What is it with you people? You are dumber than a bag of dirt!

The Onion is satire...you stupid wanker.
Frank Zappa | 07.12.06 - 1:10 pm | #

"If my HMO wouldn't have bowed to their pressure not to cover oral contraceptives, I never would've gotten pregnant in the first place."


Sorry ma'am, if you hadn't had sex you wouldn't have gotten pregnant, it's not the HMO's fault for not supporting your promiscuity while not married.



No one should get any because you can't, right?

Moron!
Anonymousse | 07.12.06 - 1:10 pm | #

Maybe fetus fetishists need to spend more time on their reading comprehension.


Stupid asses!
SCARY VAGINA | 07.12.06 - 1:12 pm | #

Holy shit are you sheltered.
Kevin | 07.12.06 - 1:12 pm | #

Gravatar Hey, ease up on the guy. This is obviously a subtly nuanced ironic bit meant to poke fun at satire. No one would be dumb enough to not fact-check a story they plan to source on their blog. Pete, you're a hoot, keep up the good work. And thank God you weren't aborted, the world needs more comic geniuses like yourself.
John | 07.12.06 - 1:14 pm | #

Gravatar I am reminded of the immortal words of Bugs bunny: "Whudda maroon!"
Impeach Cheney first | 07.12.06 - 1:14 pm | #

Pete here is the epitomy of the Bush supporter--can't tell the difference between truth and satire, and unquestioningly believes everything he wishes were true.
Justsaying



Why are these people allowed to breed?
Terry C, Patriotic Dissenter | 07.12.06 - 1:16 pm | #

Gravatar I just wet myself reading this. Holy wow.
William Rivers Pitt | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:17 pm | #

pwnt
E-roc | 07.12.06 - 1:17 pm | #

I hope it's 'cuz they're out adopting all the babies they've saved from abortions. You know, the ones now neglected and in foster care. No? Didn't think so.
Kathi B



When "Pete" can get pregnant, THEN he should talk!

Till then, he should STFU
Embarrassed American | 07.12.06 - 1:17 pm | #

Gravatar wow, if you aren't smart enough to realize satire when you read it...you're probably a crazy pro-life douche...oh wait...
adam | 07.12.06 - 1:20 pm | #

Stupid,
Check your references
DUH | 07.12.06 - 1:20 pm | #

Oh dear. It seems you've confirmed the stereotype that pro-life nuts are out of touch with society, NAY MORE REALITYYYYYYYYYYY
Chachi | 07.12.06 - 1:21 pm | #

Gravatar Your really are as smart as a box of hair aren't you. As you probably have figured out by now, THE ONION IS A SATIRE site.

On the bright side, I'm sure your fame will rival that of "The Star Wars Kid"
K. Restoule | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:21 pm | #

Gravatar Keep up the god werk!
George Dubya | 07.12.06 - 1:23 pm | #

Gravatar Let me get this right.
2300 years ago, some itinerant desert dweller decided that Yahweh wanted his tribe to be a big one.
So now, 2300 years later, when overpopulation is a serious world issue
and people are starving everywhere, we are running out of resources and dumb idiots like you Pete are getting hysteric about the possible loss of some hypothetical (and satiric) germ plasm??
remind me again, why? no, never mind. I know you're so full of shit. Oh surprise, I bought you a subscription to the ONION!
college graduate | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:25 pm | #

Gravatar *Sniff sniff* I smell a blog comming to an end.
Don Quixote | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:25 pm | #

I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said. Quite honestly, I just want to take part in this glorious trainwreck of a blog.
Kathryn. | 07.12.06 - 1:25 pm | #

Are you fucking kidding me? LOL It's from the Onion! Jeez the headlines alone there are so ridiculous that only a dunbass like yourself would believe that they were actual news.
James | 07.12.06 - 1:27 pm | #

I don't know who's funnier, you or The Onion?

You want to save a life? Why don't you go adopt some orphans? And I'm not talking about the brand new, healthy, white ones. I'm talking about the troubled teens, the ones with illnesses or the thousands of children who's parents die of AIDS in Africa because our country won't give aid to programs that aren't abstinence only.
Stefanie | 07.12.06 - 1:27 pm | #

Gravatar I always knew they were idiots.
KT | 07.12.06 - 1:28 pm | #

No one could possibly be this dense. Clearly this is a satire of the mind-numbing idiocy of the far right.

Right?
benefit of the doubt | 07.12.06 - 1:30 pm | #

Gravatar You are A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

God, what a tool! Yipes.
Lee Greenwood | 07.12.06 - 1:30 pm | #

You. Are. An. Asshat.

All my best,
Your Lord and Savior
Jesus | 07.12.06 - 1:31 pm | #

Moral of the story? Don't believe everything you read; that includes THE BIBLE! Go and live your life, but stop trying to tell others they're going to hell, let "your" god take care of that (not that she will, since she's as real as the tooth fairy, but I digress)

In conclusion, eat it.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 1:31 pm | #

He is doing his part for the pro life movment. The coathanger will now be used to pull his head out of his ass.
Squeetard | 07.12.06 - 1:32 pm | #

Sofa king we todd ed.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 1:35 pm | #

Hello,

Me name is Svetlana.
After birthday of my girlfriend after all my girlfriends have left to meet
with the husbands and guys I has decided, that the friend with whom I might
connect all further life too is necessary for me, but such person with whom
I would not be happy is not necessary for me.
I shall tell to you slightly about myself, me 29 years, I live in city of
Perm in spite of the fact that it is very beautiful city, here very
difficultly to find the good person with which it is possible would be to
connect the life, the purposes of people in our city very much low, and the
girlfriend has advised me to look same people as well as I in the Internet,
I and have made I have gone to the Internet of cafe and have found a site
which to me the girlfriend has advised, at her mum as has got acquainted
with the person from Germany. From all countries which were offered me on a
choice, I have decided to choose , on films and under stories I know, that
people for which his personal honour and decency is appreciated more than
any petty interests live in this country. After short viewing structures I
have seen yours which most approaches me, and have decided to write to you
in hope that I shall receive from you the answer. Excuse I has distracted
from the story about itself slightly. As I to you already spoke me 29 years
I live in Russia, city of Perm, my weight makes 64 kgs at growth of 170
centimeter. At me higher education on a speciality the ecologist, but on the
trade I do not work, as on it it is very difficult to find work. I work to
help the bookkeeper in the company which is engaged in sale of home
appliances. I live one without parents, my parents were lost at a fire of 6
years back, my grandmothers and grandfathers communists, my relatives were
noblemen when Russia king corrected earlier, but there was it for a long
time. I never supported ideas communists, they have resulted the country
which once was great power, in full route. But about it I shall not continue
to me this subject not so it is pleasant have shot.
I live together with mine cat Murka, she my best friend! She also likes to
ask to have a meal black color at me, in exchange on it she may sit next
hours me and purr. Unfortunately I badly know the English language so I the
first time shall be to use the translator, but I go on rates, on studying
language. With impatience I wait from you for the answer. Your new friend
Svetlana.
Please write me on my personal e-mail:svetochka-konpetochka@russian.ru
So it will be more convenient to me to write to you and I can send you the
photos!
Svetlana | 07.12.06 - 1:35 pm | #

HarHar! Let's keep writing "moron" and "dumbshit" and making sure that everyone knows that, unlike Pete, we knew it was a parody article. Look at how smart WE are compared to HIM! The pinnacle of intellectual endeavor is apparently to write line after line copying the same puerile insults that have been repeated over 900 times now.
n815e | 07.12.06 - 1:36 pm | #

Wow pete you're becoming immortal on t-shirts now

http://www.cafepress.com/ feralvi...isions.65565584
jo | 07.12.06 - 1:37 pm | #

Gravatar I have an altar to Pete in my living room where I light candles and pray for zygotes twice a day.
Leishalynn | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:40 pm | #

Please read Pete's followup, instead of shutting up, he makes himself look like even more of an idiot...


----
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Summing up the "Onion" flap
The hate mail continues to flow in like water. The "intellectual left" continues to throw every cuss word in the dictionary at me. (yes, I said "cuss", not "curse", that drives them nuts too...past experience, believe me)

I won't be responding to any more of the hate mail so don't bother writing it. I created a mail rule which will automatically trash it. No, we won't open up our comments to you people who have nothing better to do than fill our comments up with your hate. Funny, how come you members of the "intellectual left" can't say two sentences without cussing?

Oh well, about the Onion article

99% of that satirical piece is purporting to describe (in a "satirical" way) the physical and emotional pain of the abortion to the woman, not the baby. This statement really tells it all:

"The funny thing is, I actually have the pro-life movement to thank for this opportunity. If my HMO wouldn't have bowed to their pressure not to cover oral contraceptives, I never would've gotten pregnant in the first place."



Do you see how they slip their agenda into a "satirical" piece? Oral contraceptives cause abortions too, just at an earlier stage than hospital abortions. Contraception is the direction of the pro-abortion movement, because they know America is waking up to the fact that abortion kills human beings and it should not have been decriminalized by the Supreme Court.

posted by Pete at 8:35 AM
----

http://monthlycallforlife.blogsp...onion- flap.html

Again, live your own life, and don't believe everything you read here, or in your precious BIBLE. Would Jesus hate like you do?
FollowUP | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:41 pm | #

This post isn't even to the writer of that stupid ass blog. Who the fuck is the person that wrote the HarHarHar post? You are an even bigger douche then the blogger. I am sorry that everyone had to make fun of your stupid fucking boyfriend you dipshit.
Todd | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:42 pm | #

http://monthlycallforlife.blogsp...onion- flap.html
Anonymous | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:43 pm | #

Pete...you are a perfect example of why animals eat their young.
Yvette | 07.12.06 - 1:44 pm | #

Pete, perhaps you should consider another profession. A brainless and yawn-inducing moron like yourself would be far better suited as a children's party clown, raving lunatic on the street or even an aluminum can collector. Good luck in your new job search.
Shelina | 07.12.06 - 1:49 pm | #

I love The Onion! Caroline Weber rocks. You rock that abortion girl!!! w00t w00t!
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 1:49 pm | #

Gravatar Hahaha. I just got the link to this emailed to me. Pete, whoever you are, you've gone WORLDWIDE! I live in Toronto. Thats *Canada*, Pete, not *Mexico*. So be sure to comdemn *Canada* to hell, and not *Mexico*, Por-fa-vor (Thats french, Pete)
skip | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:49 pm | #

FYI:

The Onion is a completely fake newspaper.

And yes, you just have the pro-death people a good laugh. Please, next time-- please check your sources before blogging.

You just made mockery of our Pro-Life movement.
Some guy | 07.12.06 - 1:51 pm | #

Gravatar hahahahhaa pete you suck. id be really embarrassed. so embarrassed id stop blogging all together.
nate | 07.12.06 - 1:51 pm | #

Oh dear. What a dingbat.
Did you know that about 70% of embryos fail to implant in the womb?
If we accept that an embryo is a human being, This makes failure to implant the most common cause of human death. Why is the 'pro-life' industry doing nothing about this?
brainburger | 07.12.06 - 1:51 pm | #

This is not satire, this is blasphemy! I will pray for your souls.
Obviously Ms. Weber has been taken in with the devil.

Thank you Peter for shining the light of god in this dark demonic place.
Warrior4Christ | 07.12.06 - 1:52 pm | #

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.

It's a series of tubes.

And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska)
Sen. Ted Stevens | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:53 pm | #

Gravatar Do you LIBERALS think you are fooling everyone?

It is obvious to anyone reading this that THIS IS THE WORK OF THE DNC! HOWARD DEAN AND HILARY CLINTON HAVE TOLD THEIR SATANIC SUPPORTERS TO SPAM MY BLOG! LISTEN CLOSELY, LIBERALS! THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT IS COMING! YOU AND YOUR ABORTION DOCTORS AND YOUR HOMOSEXUALS AND YOUR FEMINISTS AND YOUR TERRORIST LOVING, AMERICA HATING LIBERALS WILL BE DEALT WITH BY GEORGE W BUSH! I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THE CAMPS!
Pete | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 1:57 pm | #

Dear Pete,

Please die.

Thank you.

Lots of Love, Jay.
Jay 138 | 07.12.06 - 2:02 pm | #

Gravatar It's a joke, the whole Webber article. Another thing, you're not going to change anyone's mind about abortion aside from the fact that more people like me will hate you for trying to push your ideas on me and others.
Eddie | 07.12.06 - 2:04 pm | #

Gravatar Satire, sarcasm or not, the point is that radical pro-abortion forces are so deranged, so thoroughly dedicated to their sacrament of extermination that the sentiments expressed in this womans article are quite believable as honestly held conviction. In short, these people are so goofy, no one would be surprised if the most bizarre statements were indeed closely held beliefs. Gee, shouldn't that make them proud.
D. Book | 07.12.06 - 2:04 pm | #

Gravatar Wow Pete, I was going to say that you need to relax, but after reading your last little "Do you LIBERALS think you are fooling everyone?" post I can say I think you are sick, very very sick.

It is clear that something bad happened to you at some point. Not sure if it was your uncle that touched you or what, but you are now well.

I hope to god someday you get over your issues and you open your mind to the world...

I am sad for you...
Marq | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:08 pm | #

Should I even bother commenting anymore???
Chris | 07.12.06 - 2:08 pm | #

Gravatar Don't laugh too much, these people can still vote. God help us.
Lumpenprolitariot | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:09 pm | #

Gravatar let's just hope and pray that you never breed. we sure don't need any more dumbasses.
somebody | 07.12.06 - 2:10 pm | #

Gravatar "It is obvious to anyone reading this that THIS IS THE WORK OF THE DNC! HOWARD DEAN AND HILARY CLINTON HAVE TOLD THEIR SATANIC SUPPORTERS TO SPAM MY BLOG! LISTEN CLOSELY, LIBERALS! THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT IS COMING! YOU AND YOUR ABORTION DOCTORS AND YOUR HOMOSEXUALS AND YOUR FEMINISTS AND YOUR TERRORIST LOVING, AMERICA HATING LIBERALS WILL BE DEALT WITH BY GEORGE W BUSH! I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THE CAMPS!"

This reminds me of that crazy woman from Wife Swap who blamed everything on the devil.
GloriaSmith | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:13 pm | #

Who would have thought one could get so much attention by posting a serious response to a joke article? But is Pete serious?

Who would believe that a Monthly Call For Life is for real? I mean, does Pete hope to end menstruation now and forever by making sure that all women are always pregnant? That can't possibly be a serious goal, can it?

Christian Warriors, beware - I suspect this link of his is loaded with spyware that will steal your credit card information & harness your computer for evil uses. Do not accept his invitation at risk of your financial safety.

I had 2 abortions when I was a young, foolish woman. Now I'm an older foolish woman, but I haven't suffered at all from those stupid mistakes. You can pray for me and my lost genetic material all you like. I'm happy, you're not - oh, well; that's life. Get another hobby, fellas.
Astonished | 07.12.06 - 2:14 pm | #

Gravatar Pete, Do me a favor and shut the hell up. We Republicans are not doing real well here in Washington. You see, we can't govern, in other words, we suck at running the nation. Your post is only showing America the truth, that my, I mean, Bush's, supporters are morons.

So trust me Petey-boy, I, I mean Bush, need you to stop posting stuff like this, because you make us all look like dumbasses.

Thanks
GW

PS, Pete, you better get use to Hillary, she is going to rule the roost soon... Because I, I mean Bush, sucks.
G. W. B. | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:15 pm | #

What satire? Show Ms. Weber and her godless commie pals that we won't stand for their type here in the U.S. of A. with t-shirts, beer steins, posters and more!



http://www.cafepress.com/ feralvi...isions.65565584
sum din | 07.12.06 - 2:16 pm | #

I think you're all missing the fact that the Bible clearly and explicitly supports Pete on this, as should we all:

"Thou shalt opposeth with equal vigor any infidels, real or imagined, literal or satirical, whosoever may deign to cast doubt on even the most stretched or torturous interpretations of my Word."

Book of Moron 2:13-15
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 2:21 pm | #

Gravatar Pete,

The Onion is satire.

You are a disgrace to the Internet. Please call your ISP immediately and cancel all of your online services.

Fool.
slackmaster | 07.12.06 - 2:22 pm | #

Gravatar Bwahahahhahaaaaaaa!
Sinner | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:24 pm | #

Gravatar Does your own stupidity ever embarrass you? It should.

Considering the fact that you're incapable of recognizing blatant satire, you most certainly should not be forming or sharing opinions on matters as ethically and morally complicated as the abortion issue. It really would be best for the rest of the world if you and idiots like you would kindly remove yourselves from public debate about anything important. And please stop procreating.
wow | 07.12.06 - 2:25 pm | #

Pete, just admit you made a mistake, that you didn't realize, and move on. Your ateempt to cover yourself is ridiculous.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 2:27 pm | #

Please send me your voters registration card for immediate burning. Thank you.
deargodareyouthatstupid | 07.12.06 - 2:28 pm | #

Gravatar the onion is a stiric news paper, just like the daily show, why would you write a whole anti-abortion article on a satiric newspaper? you really are pretty dumb, and you sir are the reason why the world is going to end!
Jeremy S. | 07.12.06 - 2:29 pm | #

Gravatar The author of this blog might be stupid but most of the posters on this blog are far from intelligent. I bet 80% of English speaking people don't get the onion. Go to a comedy club and you'll see what they laugh at. Here's another article about retards not getting it: http://www.vnunet.com/vnunet/new...ks-terror- alert

And there's a whole section in Wikipedia here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion

Humor is subjective and some people just don't get stuff. It doesn't mean all of their ideas are bad. Are all Chinese people stupid because they believed an Onion article? (read the article in the link.)

There is also a long history of people not getting Satire, here's another one: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ A_M...Modest_Proposal

Jonathan Swift's "peers" probably weren't completely stupid they just had trouble getting his humor.

In conclusion, (and an all together different point) all pro-life people might be stupid but since they have double(maybe triple) the children, they're going be the ones in power possibly until 20 years after abortion is make illegal. All of you are so smart you can’t even replace yourselves, handing your country to people like this blogger (not to mention the Chinese).
Friendly Stan | 07.12.06 - 2:29 pm | #

I believe Pete demonstrates better than anything I could come up with why we should enact minimum IQ regulations on who gets to vote in this country.

God in heaven, man - I'm surprised you haven't died yet from forgetting to breathe.
Justin | 07.12.06 - 2:31 pm | #

Heck, there's an entire article in wikipedia devoted just to his blog.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Mar...gether_For_Life
jack | 07.12.06 - 2:36 pm | #

You're quite the douche - it's call satire, so lighten up, Francis.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 2:37 pm | #

You should see if conservative pundit Stephen Colbert wants to interview you on his show.
simuvac | 07.12.06 - 2:37 pm | #

Wow. Is there really more to say than that? I mean, even other pro-life people are giving you grief for your sheer stupidity. And this was stupidity at it’s best. What the hell were you thinking? WERE you thinking? Or were you so wrap up in self-righteousness and zealous indignation that you failed to see what’s so amazingly obvious about The Onion? Man, you’re a sorry-ass bag of meat aren’t you? I agree with the others here who say your just sucking up precious air and wasting valuable resources which should go to humans far more deserving than you. At least we all got a good laugh at your expense.
MR | 07.12.06 - 2:41 pm | #

Gravatar Pete,

In all seriousness, the fact that you could have taken the piece in The Onion as serious indicates how poorly you understand how most real people who are pro-choice think about about abortions.

Nobody thinks it's wonderful to have an abortion, Pete. Nobody.
Nick Danger | 07.12.06 - 2:43 pm | #

Gravatar You guys are assholes....I'm never blogging again...NEVER!!!!!!
Pete | 07.12.06 - 2:44 pm | #

Caroline Weber is a monster that must be stopped.

Here's food for thought: What if this is a satire of a satire? What if the joke is on everyone else?
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 2:47 pm | #

Abort your blog douchenozzle.

Love,
Disco
Disco | 07.12.06 - 2:48 pm | #

Also in the news on the onion....

Kim Jong Il unfolds into giant robot

Jesus suprises 700 club with walk-on appearance (home you caught that one pete)

Senator Mix-a-lot sponsors Titties on glass legislation
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 2:48 pm | #

Jeez, talk about not getting it!!

And if you want fun surgery while awake. Have a spinal cord stimulator implanted!! Its fun, fun FUN!!!
LOLLer | 07.12.06 - 2:52 pm | #

Gravatar You are a fucking moron for trying to pass off an Onion article as fact. Just like a typical propagandist, you twist and distort facts to try to spread your misinformation. Abortion is legal and your mother should have seriously considered it when she was pregnant with you.
YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN AND HAVE NO RIGHT TO INTERFERE WITH THE CHOICES THEY MAKE WITH THEIR BODIES!!!
DoomsDave | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:52 pm | #

Gravatar whenever i hear about pro-lifers doing something stupid, or bombing something, or protesting something i think this... how pro life would they be if it were their W.A.S.P.y little daughter, mother, or wife that needed the abortion, say she'd been brutally gang raped by a group of minority members, say that between these rapists she contracted aids, hepC, and herpes, maybe even that to get her to stop screaming they dosed her making her and her newly concieved child both addicts, and because of some recessive gene trait the child would be born with horrible defomities costing the family hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills, and causing the child to die before the age of ten... plus the fact that with such a brutal raping it wasn't sure if the mother'd survive the delivery, and if she did she'd never be able to have children again... i realize this is a horrible way to look at it but seriously... how many of theses pro-lifers would put up with it? choke it all down in support of their cause, force their mother wife or daughter to have this child at great risk to not only their life but the childs, with the knowledge that any joy it may bring would only end in heartache, on top of which you add the psychological scarring of the gang rape and the father husband brother or son's forcing them to have this child... anyone who after all that would still stick to their guns, well while i can't agree with them at least i can say they stand up for their beleifs, problem is that i don't ever see it happening...



i'm not even going to jump on the band wagon with the whole satire angle, too easy, and i'm not going to start ranting as to how much of a clown this man is for his views or stupidity, i'm not going to call out any of his defenders because they too are too lost to understand, i'm not going to blame this on red vs. blue states, or IQ level, or religion, or upbringing, i'll simply leave it at this... i know that somewhere out there there is a pro- choice (possibly gay) couple that would adopt and raise the child from the above stated worst case scenario, not expect any help from the government, and love it like it were their own... and i know that living in that same town there is a pro- life family that would send their daughter, wife, or mother out of town, possibly out of the country even to have that same child aborted...

that's america folks... where we watch COPS to laugh, and forget that if you think really hard about it, that's the average voting american... time to stand up for what you believe in, not what you've been force fed from childhood, and do something about this vapidization of the american landscape
Rev. -as in ordained minister- | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:54 pm | #

Gravatar "You guys are assholes....I'm never blogging again...NEVER!!!!!!
Pete | 07.12.06 - 2:44 pm | # "

Please do us the favor you moron. Seriously, this is as stupid as it gets. You are an internet laughing stock.

Good work there Pete!

Oh man does it get any funnier?
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 2:55 pm | #

What is wrong with you people? You call yourselves activists, but the only goal you have is purely opposite. You only want to take away rights that are so fundamental to our citizenship of this country. You can tell me that I am wrong, but what do I know? I know that the Constitution, the Supreme Law of the land, gives us these rights, and the only 9 people in the country, who are given the privilege of interpreting our rights, tells us so. The last I checked you were not a U.S. Supreme Court Justice.

Also, for you to tell someone that abstinance would have prevented someone's pregnancy is more than absurd. I might be mistaken, but as part of the homo genus, human beings are naturally programmed in their DNA make-up to engage in sexual behavior. To promote abstinance is only to oppose the existance of man.

You cannot blame a man (or woman) for engaging in activity that is natural to their chemical make-up. Just look at all the Catholic Priests, who just happen to be known to abstain from sexual activity. Over the last 20 years they have been accused and even admitted by some of them, that they had engaged in sexual activity with young children, mostly boys. If you can't find a direct correlation between abstinance and moelestation and human bio-chemistry you are probably uneducated.

If you don't find any rational basis in my scientific truth, I would not be surprised or even offended. All of you Pro-life bastards only regard your religious teachings when discussing this issue. I could of course explain to you why your religion is is a hypocrisy, but I will leave that for another day and another website.

Leave these women alone. They are only engaging in their natural behavior and have the right to do so.
Neil | 07.12.06 - 2:56 pm | #

Gravatar Do you LIBERALS think you are fooling everyone?

It is obvious to anyone reading this that THIS IS THE WORK OF THE DNC! HOWARD DEAN AND HILARY CLINTON HAVE TOLD THEIR SATANIC SUPPORTERS TO SPAM MY BLOG! LISTEN CLOSELY, LIBERALS! THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT IS COMING! YOU AND YOUR ABORTION DOCTORS AND YOUR HOMOSEXUALS AND YOUR FEMINISTS AND YOUR TERRORIST LOVING, AMERICA HATING LIBERALS WILL BE DEALT WITH BY GEORGE W BUSH! I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THE CAMPS!


Guy you are freaking hysterical. Keep it up. I may read you all afternoon if you keep this up.

Face it moron, you have humiliated yourself. Now own up to your own stupidity FOR CHRIST'S sake!

Moron Takes Onion For Factual Reporting. News At 11!

Try this:
http://blasphemer.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

You will LOVE it.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 3:01 pm | #

Gravatar idiot.
AnDrew | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 3:01 pm | #

Gravatar as it appears my homepage link failed in my previous post... for any further rantings or to view my views... http://www.myspace.com/boredominc
Rev. -- E.R.Brown | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 3:02 pm | #

Gravatar Have another kook-aid Mel Gibson
Bryan | 07.12.06 - 3:08 pm | #

Todd wrote: "This post isn't even to the writer of that stupid ass blog. Who the fuck is the person that wrote the HarHarHar post? You are an even bigger douche then the blogger. I am sorry that everyone had to make fun of your stupid fucking boyfriend you dipshit."

You must be a Harvard man.
n815e | 07.12.06 - 3:08 pm | #

Gravatar BWAHAHAHAHA! You are not smart.
Cristal | 07.12.06 - 3:09 pm | #

Pete, thank you so much for speaking your mind. This post, and the ones that have followed it, have given me so much joy. Even now, I have the distinct feeling that you don't get it, and I can't wait to see what happens next...
toasty | 07.12.06 - 3:10 pm | #

Gravatar Neil,

Some people are sexually driven to molest children, do we not expect them to control their impulses?
The question is wether or not the unborn human being is a human person. If having sex could result in you killing a person then one would expect you to refrain from having sex just as we expect pedophiles to refrain from molesting children(which is also horrible). The question is, is it a human person. Scientifically it is a human being, a young human being but is it a human person.
Friendly Stan | 07.12.06 - 3:11 pm | #

Gravatar Congrats Dork! You Are Nor A Wikipedia Entry!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Mar...gether_For_Life

You may end up bigger than that Guy Goma.

Must suck to be known as this dumb for all the world to enjoy.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 3:12 pm | #

YFI. HAND.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 3:15 pm | #

Oh yes, it's so nice to see the internet uniting against stupidity.

Not the crusade you expected, eh?
Kyle | 07.12.06 - 3:27 pm | #

Gravatar I had to read this article twice before i hanestly beleived that anyone could be so stupid. I later asked My 10 year old neighbor what he knew about the onion. his responce was something along the lines of "Isn't theat the fake magazine that makes fun of people" Congratulations. you have proved yourself dumber than a 10 year old.
Aria | 07.12.06 - 3:29 pm | #

LOL! do you know that this is getting passed all over through emails now? I'd never even heard of you until 5 mins ago. Pete, thanks for the laugh! When will you post again!?!?
Christina S. | 07.12.06 - 3:36 pm | #

Gravatar Dear Friend.

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone will die someday.

My name is Peter Lawson,a merchant in Dubai, in the U.A.E.I have been diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer which was discovered very late,due to my laxity in carrying for my health. It has defiled all forms of medicine, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts.

I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone not even myself but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focus on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it.

Now that God ! has called me, I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended family members and as well as a few close friends. I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul and so, I have decided to give arms to charity organizations and give succour and confort to the less priviledged in our societies, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth.

So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Algeria and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this my self anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization and to the less priviledged in Bulgaria and Pakistan, they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of twenty four million dollars that I have with a Security Company in Europe for safe keeping. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and disburse it to some charity organizations and to the less priviledged.

Please send me a mail to indicate if you will assist me in this disbursement.

I have set aside 10% for you for your time and patience.

You can e-mail me at:plawson@hknetmail.com

While I await to hear from you, may God be with you and your entire family.

Remain blessed.

Mr.Peter Lawson
Mr.Peter Lawson | 07.12.06 - 3:53 pm | #

Dear Pete,

I'm sorry for all the abuse you have been getting today. I know where your heart is......

GOTCHA!!!!!

You're a moron! Thanks for laugh.
Dookie | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 3:54 pm | #

Gravatar "Here's food for thought: What if this is a satire of a satire? What if the joke is on everyone else?
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 2:47 pm"


Nah. I've read some of Pete's other commentaries. He really is that stupid.
John | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 4:06 pm | #

Gravatar I now notice 2 things:
Pete is trying some insanely desperate backpedalling spin, trying to pretend that his comments were satire - but there is no way to comment on those new articles of his.

He is also answering the comments in the same spirit he claims to deplore.

This says even more than the original screw-up on his part.
Susan Cohen | 07.12.06 - 4:22 pm | #

Gravatar Wow. with this many hits, you should have sold advertising space... hmmmmm...
Rob | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 4:25 pm | #

Satire? Fondlt reminisce about the heresy of the crazy godless abortion lover Ms. Weber as how she was outed by our fine patriotic pro-lifers--immortalized on t-shirts, beer steins, posters and more!

http://www.cafepress.com/ feralvi...isions.65565584
dim sum | 07.12.06 - 4:29 pm | #

http://www.cafepress.com/ feralvi...isions.65565584
dim sum | 07.12.06 - 4:31 pm | #

SOMEBODY SHIT ON THE COATS.
Ricky D. | 07.12.06 - 4:38 pm | #

The claim that his original post is joke is hilarious. He doesn't realize that, if it were a joke, the message of the joke would be "Pro-lifers are so stupid that they would believe an Onion article"

He doesn't realize that he's trying to get us to believe that he decided to post a pro-lifers are dumb joke.
Who are you fooling? | 07.12.06 - 4:45 pm | #

Gravatar Dude, All I can say is you reap what you sew. I don't feel sorry for you in the least. Try taking the blinders off.
Me | 07.12.06 - 4:51 pm | #

Gravatar Dude, All I can say is you reap what you sew. I don't feel sorry for you in the least. Try taking the blinders off.
Me | 07.12.06 - 4:51 pm | #

Petey,

You're a true patriot...just know how much hilarity you've added to the American workplace as of late.

BTW, my younger sister is having her 1st Abortion Ceremony on the 15th. We're looking for a finger-wagging hatemonger to brighten things up at the reception. Are you available?
Matty M. | 07.12.06 - 5:05 pm | #

Gravatar SO now you're all "wah wah wah" it was a joke.... "wah wah wah" i quit blogging... "wah wah wah" i had to turn off the comments and ruin the fun for everyone....

AND you're too dumb to even turn all the comments off!!! So FUCK YOU, you abortion-hating piece of shit! Go abort yourself, pig.
Dumbest Person Ever | 07.12.06 - 5:05 pm | #

Hail Satan!!!
trey | 07.12.06 - 5:09 pm | #

Coward.

We can still find the comments thread and add to it. Believe me.

You are an idiot.
j | 07.12.06 - 5:22 pm | #

Democratic Underground sucks big hairy balls. Stupid mother fuckers, your website blows. Fucking censors, true liberals don't censor.
Fuck Democrat Underground | 07.12.06 - 5:22 pm | #

I can't believe you are trying to claim that the original post is a joke, Pete. O_o

If it was a joke that means your entire site would basically have to be a joke. You'd have to be trying to play the part of a pro-lifer who is too misguided to see that the Onion is satire.

Don't get me wrong, I started out thinking that you were really a pro-choicer, Pete, who set up this site to try to make some outrageous claims. But it's really too large a site for me to think that's the case, anymore.

It's not cool that people posted your contact information. At the same time, I'm willing to bet that most people could just find your information online with minimal effort. You have to be really careful about putting up too much personal information in this day and age.

Best of luck, I hope people aren't harassing you at home anymore.
June | 07.12.06 - 5:22 pm | #

Pete...you are the most famous idiot in the world; you have surpassed Dubya. Congrats!
Tazo Passion | 07.12.06 - 5:24 pm | #

Dude, I know you mean well, but stop publishing this fucking blog. If you keep this up, even Thomas and Scalia will be voting pro-choice.
Anonymous | 07.12.06 - 5:34 pm | #

Gravatar Joke? haha, nice try. Though it's entertaining watching you put your foot even farther into your mouth - I didn't think it could be done. But if anyone can, it's you. Congrats. You should call Ripley's. Or Guinness.
SloppyC | 07.12.06 - 5:45 pm | #

So nice, there is a back door into the comments on your site...

Seriously buddy.

YOU. ARE. A. RETARD
Grammy | 07.12.06 - 5:58 pm | #

You are the dumbest human I have ever run across on the InterWeb. You are a tool. "Intellectual left?" So I guess your side of the fence is the "Ignornant right?" You're such a dense Rush Limbaugh/Dr. Laura cloned sheep that you even buy into that horse shit! The average American is centrist and they don't buy into your fictional morals! The Bible is a novel, for heaven's sake. Stop trying to live as if it's 2000 years ago. We have science and smart people now. The shit on your blog is just rehashed FOX news crap. There isn't an ounce of original thought on it.

You're a laughingstock, Petey! You will be receiving comments like these for weeks. If you had any sense at all you could leverage the attention to help your cause, but obviously you lack the intelligence to do so. Which is great, because your "cause" is baseless and stupid to begin with.
Rich | 07.12.06 - 6:16 pm | #

PETE, PLEASE READ:

You wrote something today that shows you don't understand what everybody keeps trying to tell you.

You wrote,
"Do you see how they slip their agenda into a 'satirical' piece?"

By definition satire has an agenda. If it did not have an agenda, it would not be satire. The Onion does not "slip their agenda into" their articles, they schmear it all over their articles with a trowel. Satire always has an agenda. Sometimes it's subtle, sometimes not. In the onion, it is not subtle, ever. It is always obvious.

I think the poster five hundred or so posts back who said you might have a form of autism makes more sense than all these people who are calling you names. You're not stupid, but you're missing something that is really really blatant to most people. Your politics did not make you this way, but you being this way may have something to do with your singleminded dedication to your politics.

Anyway, who cares: you seem to have some good friends and you seem to have a purpose and you seem to be enjoying life. This stuff will blow over presently and you can get back to doing what you do. I hope you don't end up even more scared of the opposition because everybody's yelling right now. Also, if you think the previous poster and I are right and you have autism, there are whole huge support groups for people with autism. You can learn how to empathize just like you learned how to add, subtract, multiply and divide. It might make you a more effective persuader, if you don't think of the enemy as Completely Impossible To Understand and if they don't think of you as Completely Impossible To Talk To. I mean, it FEELS better to be always preaching to the choir--talking to people who already agree with you. But what good does it do you?
snorks | 07.12.06 - 6:23 pm | #

Gravatar No need for me to rehash the obvious point about Pete's cluelessness, but ishe also a liar?

"Then came the commenter Bill. He decided that I don't have a right to say what I want to say because obviously I am too stupid for him. So what did he do? He posted my personal information online, inviting all to call me and let me know. Others joined him. A total of 5 people posted my personal information.

So these people ruined the fun for all & I had to shut down the comments section. "

Anyone see any postings on personal info here? I didn't. No deletions either. He may have thought it was a safe attack because he shut down his comments so no one could check, but I don't see any evidence of people posting personal info. Unless posting that Pete is number than a pounded thumb is personal information.

I think Pete is playing the RW victim card. And he's not much of a Christian if he's bearing false witness against people.
Innocent Bystander | 07.12.06 - 6:41 pm | #

This is one of two sets of comments. The other comments had his personal info a bunch of times. He ain't lying. I wish I knew whether somebody somewhere linked to that other HaloScan comments list because I wanted to check on a fight my sockpuppet is having in there with a guy named Evan who is only 18 years old and still lives with his mother.
Toucan Playadat Gaim | 07.12.06 - 6:47 pm | #

Killing people: is it wrong?

According to the Bible: no, it isn't. God kills people and God's people kill people. In the end, Revelations has God killing more people.

It is open to interpretation, really.

10 Commandments? Sure, it says "Thou shalt not kill." So what? What about all those other hundreds of Commandments prior which were reduced to a measely 10? "Those were the 'old rules' for a different time" is the typical reasoning of the Scriptures.

But, if you want to really reason with the Scriptures, do yourself a favor: learn Hebrew, learn Greek. There is a WHOOOLE different meaning to the Bible modern Christians are completely clueless about.

So in light of that fact, please stop speaking for God. And, if you're not speaking for God by telling everyone what is "morally right", please stop enforcing your morality on people. After all, what makes you so special? So, you don't believe in abortion? That's great, don't abort then. But, shut up and let everyone else make their own choice. What about the babies' choice? Who's defending the babies' rights? We're talking about something that has never seen daylight. Do you get so upset about "putting down" animals (which is the humane thing to do)? Because they have lived and experienced and actually thought about life. A full grown cat or dog has about the intelligence of a 2 or 3 year old child.

Still concerned about something that's whole existence can be summed up as floating in stew for less than a year? Well, then let God worry about that one. People can only do what they think is right and growing up in an orphanage is not considered "morally right" in many people's eyes, nor is having a child you don't want.

Raising a human being to be a great person is a task most parents are not up to. After all, that is why we have so many control freaks (like you) demanding people behave a certain way-- just like mommy and daddy taught you: selfish, self-righteous, stubborn, disapproving, meddlesome, controlling and with an honest-to-goodness personality disorder. Get a better outlook on life.
Nate | 07.12.06 - 6:47 pm | #

I saw his address information, it was actually in a post at the top of one of the other threads. I'd skipped over that comment about 20 times before someone pointed it out and then I went back and found it, so it was definitely there. I'm not sure if anyone actually called him or anything--I tend to hope not.
June | 07.12.06 - 6:50 pm | #

Pete,

Stupidity travels fast on the internets....thanks for laugh chucklenuts!

K & K
K & K | 07.12.06 - 7:58 pm | #

I posted the address information. It wasn't exactly hard to find - Google "marchtogether.com" and it's right there on the first page of results.

Pete seems to feel it's his God-given right to intrude on the privacy of ordinary folks out for a nice walk in the park, or out to have a legal (if emotionally traumatic) medical procedure. Why shouldn't we feel it's our right to intrude on his privacy, too?

Sorry, Pete.

(Oh, and by the way, my name isn't really "Bill O'Loofah." That's a joke, too, though one you obviously didn't get.)
Bill O'Loofah | 07.12.06 - 8:15 pm | #

Gravatar Yes, Pete is a liar. Or the most unfunny man in the world.

My article was a joke, which obviously thousands of you didn't get, all the while accusing me of being the stupidest person on the planet.

Personally, I think he's a liar. I think he doesn't have the testicles to admit when he was wrong. Then he makes fun of the people who point out his errors to him.


He's a coward. The personal info wasn't posted by anyone who knows him. It was all publically available info accessible to anyone who knows how to do a sensible person search. But printing this public info has terrified him so much that he's "removed" the comments section! (Heh, didn't anyone ever tell him that there is never really a "delete" button on the internet? We'll be able to add comments to old threads til the 'net shuts down.)

And he's a creepy Daddy. So these people ruined the fun for all & I had to shut down the comments section. It is often the case that one person ruins the fun of many isn't it?

Yeah, and someone broke a window playing ball outside the house, so that's why we won't be going to Disneyland this year.

Pete, we were never "going to Disneyland" anyway. You were just looking for an excuse to stop the conversation and spare yourself embarassment. And you wanted to be able to blame your "Enemy" as you did it.

Coward.

Well, without comments, no one will come to your blog. You have to be a damn good writer to get people to read a blog if there's no opportunity for discussion. And you have proven that you are a terrible writer, even if you don't use "cuss words". You're gullible and mean-spirited, and you have no sense of sympathy or imagination.

With guys like you at the helm of the anti-abortion movement, abortions will remain safe, legal and rare in this country for many decades to come.

And calling some testicularly-challenged conservative bozo who doesn't get a joke a "Pete" will be the new phrase.

Thanks, "Pete"! You made us all feel much better about the future of Choice in this country.
Louise | 07.12.06 - 8:21 pm | #

Gravatar Lets get tp the heart of the question here. If Pete a liar. A weasely, spinelss litte liar?

There is no doubt that our new friend here is a lying sack of shit. The case is simple.

Most recent claim about his stupidity:

"Point one - My article was a joke, which obviously thousands of you didn't get, all the while accusing me of being the stupidest person on the planet."

Previous admission of his stupidity:

"Needless to say, a few people wanted to let me know that I was a dolt for thinking that her article was real. As a matter of fact, call me a dolt, because in the beginning I really did think it was real."

As these two statements are clearly in direct contradiction of each other, one by definition MUST be a lie and both MAY be lies.

I happen to think the first admission was true and the follow-up was the most transparent and feckless attempt to save face this loser could come up with.

So Pete where'd you find that article anyway? I know you weren't just browsing old back issues of the Onion.

It makes God cry when you lie, Pete.

Repent Sinner!
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 8:28 pm | #

I don't think there really is a Pete. The only person I can think of that could be this wrong and not admit it... is Bill O'Reilly. Bill is that you?
KYK | 07.12.06 - 9:00 pm | #

it's easy to look at pete and think he's representative of the christian nationalist movement - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominionism - however, it would be a huge a mistake to assume they are all redneck morons. they are well funded, well organized, increasingly well educated, and of course, they have god on their side.

here's a quote from a book i recently read - Eternal Hostility: The Struggle Between Theocracy & Democracy by Frederick Clarkson (1997)...

A few years ago, a group of researchers and activists (including the author), subsequently called the Blue Mountain Working Group, met to discuss the challenge of the Christian Right and released "A Call To Defend Democracy & Pluralism." This expression of democratic values states in part, "The leaders of the anti-democratic right wave the flag, wrap themselves in the cloak of religion and claim they speak for God and country. We are not attacking God when we confront those who pridefully presume to speak for God. We are not attacking religion when we challenge those who imply that only persons who share their specific narrow theological viewpoint can claim religious or moral values. We are not attacking our country when we rebuke those who peddle a message of fear, prejudice, and division... The time has come to stand up and vigorously defend democracy and pluralism against the attacks orchestrated by cynical leaders of the anti-democratic right."

The time has come to mobilize for democracy. The Christian Right's cynical analysis and exploitation of the crisis in democracy - epitomized by the lack of voter participation - is a serious threat. This well-disciplined minority is able to exert political power greatly disproportionate to their numbers and resources. Of course, our fellow citizens have every right to do so. However, that does not mean that they have the right to go unchallenged. That is a privilege extended to them by the rest of society in failing to adequately defend democratic values and the public policies and institutions that reflect them.

The threat is great and the time is now - and probably for the rest of our lives.

/end quote

furthermore, i also think it's a mistake to think roe v wade will continue to stand. and even if it does, the legality of abortion is quickly becoming a moot point. 87% of counties in the US do not have abortion providers, which means for a woman of little means, it's becoming difficult, if not impossible, to take time off work and find/afford transportation to and from a clinic which could be many miles away. not to mention the waiting periods mandated by law in most states. and of course, the cost of the procedure or drugs. some women in this country are already resorting to back-alley days of old. either that, or being thrust even further into poverty by baring a child she can't afford.

our right to chose is key to our independence, and we're losing the war.

here's an excellent series frontline did on the s
honey | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 9:47 pm | #

truncated!

.....here's an excellent series frontline did on the subject: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/fr...ontline/clinic/
honey | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 9:47 pm | #

Bill - Yeah, I had a feeling it was all public information. I still feel crummy about people going after him about this at home, even though I'll admit it's delicious in a kharma sense.

Ah, well. People should be more careful about publically posting their information...
June | 07.12.06 - 9:48 pm | #

Gravatar The problem here is that first, he quoted a very well known parody newspaper called The Onion under the impression that it was a real article.

His response to that article clearly shows that he took the article seriously. Then, after realizing that it was a parody, he reversed gears and tried to play the "I knew it was a joke all along you idiots!" angle and fell flat on his face in doing so.

He's completely destroyed his credibility. If he really cared about the cause he's fighting for, he would turn out the lights and let someone else carry the flame.

The good thing about the internet is that, if you truly fark up, you can pick a new moniker and start a new blog and carry on forward.

Learn from your mistakes and be a man.........
Hahahahah | 07.12.06 - 9:52 pm | #

Someone suggested Google bombing.

"Clueless douchebag" would be appropriate.
j | 07.12.06 - 9:54 pm | #

Pete, give up.

Anyone who read your original article knows you were not kidding. Your inability to admit you were duped is precisely how you got to be this ignorant in the first place. Seriously, you need to admit to yourself just how clueless you really are before you will ever begin to get better.

You can't fool us Pete. You see, we AREN'T that stupid. So stop embarrassing yourself. As funny as it all is, I am beginning to feel pity for you.
tkmorris | 07.12.06 - 9:56 pm | #

"The Feminist movement was taken over by proDeath women who believe that killing their children is more liberating then doing what women are supposed to do, namely deliver their children into the world."

~Pete

Pulled from one of his old posts.
June | 07.12.06 - 10:16 pm | #

Gravatar To the Anonymous idiot who responded to me- I'm just as stupid as Pete? He couldn't realize The Onion wasn't real, and you couldn't realize my post was meant to be funny. Are you Pete's son? Hold tight- I'm going to create a post all for you on my blog.
Caitlin | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 10:59 pm | #

Gravatar I used to be anti-abortion, too. Then I turned 14.

I realized, one day, after some actual introspection somehow slipped through my angry young conservativism, that the only reason I was so opposed to abortion was that I felt people, the bastards, who were actually having sex should have to pay consequences. Unbelievably petty, bitter jealousy, plain and simple.

A realization that echoed an earlier one I made when I was even younger, on watching the X-Men cartoon series: though I, of course, loved the farking X-Men, there was always a shadow of a feeling that maybe they deserved to be persecuted, those lucky farkers with the awesome powers. Make it fair for the rest of us normals, by ruining their enhanced lives. Though realizing the folly of those ideas was a little more gradual (and passive -- they took the farking show off the air, the bastards!), as I grew and matured.

Anyways, this epiphany triggered a wholesale reevaluation of my beliefs and attitude towards life and the universe. It took several painful years to open my mind, but I can barely imagine the profound miserable life I would live if I hadn't shed such rot from my foul.

So Grow/man the fark up and accept your shortcomings, "pro-lifers". Don't let your bitterness ruin the world for everyone else. And maybe women/men won't find you quite so repulsive if you aren't ruled by bitterness and inherently immature, ruin-it-for-everyone jealousy. It'll be hard, but you;ll be a better, much happier person, for it.

Oh, and the conclusion I eventually came to, specifically, regarding abortion:

Pro, though I think "woman's choice" or "its my/her body" as main arguments and slogans is a thoughtless, selfish load of shiat: if it was, indeed, a thinking, feeling human, then its a whole other debate. But abortions, as they are currently legal, are practicable on organisms which are not sentient. The line between mere life and sentience is not clear, but the current law is certainly beneath it.

And even allowing some grey area, there, being a believer in euthenasia, I see this as analogous: if a child will be unwanted, brought into unwilling, unloving or incapable parents, it may be better off dead, and is certainly better off preempted before it's basically capable of knowing misery. I have no basic problems with death: I do eat meat. But a cow is a closer being to a born human than a month-old human fetus*, and if I have little problem with the death of the former for my selfish sake, I certainly don't have a problem with the death of the lesser for its own sake and, to a lesser extent, the possible ruination of all invlolved adult lives.

Basically, if a woman has, or a man asks a woman to have, an abortion without truly and deeply considering the issues involved -- the "impulse abortions" conservative mouthpieces jerk off about -- then they are a horrible person and not fit to classify themselves as human beings. Abortions, as they are currently legally pra
Adam Louis | 07.12.06 - 11:39 pm | #

Gravatar Abortions, as they are currently legally practiced, are a major, lifechanging decision, and must be considered, in the deepest recesses of those faced with the decisions' souls, as such. But they are very often the right and righteous thing to do, in most cases where it's even considered.

*I also do not believe that humans are special in any way other than that: a) We won the species race on this planet, and b) I am one, and I will usually take my own side in a fight; but that's a subject for another post
Adam Louis | Homepage | 07.12.06 - 11:44 pm | #

Haha.
This article has become talk of the internet-town.

But, oh, the irony.
even_Jesus_thinks_you're_stupi | 07.13.06 - 12:32 am | #

Excellent Petey. Disable those coments because all those "crazy libruls" don't get YOUR sarcasm.

LOL

Moron.
Woman's Body, Woman's Choice | 07.13.06 - 12:33 am | #

Pete is the gift that keeps on giving!
DakotaBoo | 07.13.06 - 12:41 am | #

Gravatar Uh oh! Your lord and savior works for the baby- killing newspaper! What now?!

http://www.theonion.com/content/...tent/node/ 49844
craziecurlz | 07.13.06 - 12:51 am | #

Pete ~ Please Join me teaching these Anti-Christian Folks. This whole new way of thinking scares me so with homosexuality and free sex/abortion without thought. It sicken's me and I fear for them. This whole country is going to hell in a hand basket faster than we realize.

Where did family values go? It's Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve. IMO the whole down fall on everything is accepting homosexuality. Once that's done abortion is nothing since they are the same homo's voting for the rights. Heck! They can't even Have Kids! Why should they have a Right in Vote!


In the town that I live in (I'm ashamed to admit) they have allowed the Chicago-Gay-Games! They will be doing their rowing on our lake...Please come and show them the errors of their ways. Show them your Penis ~ Which is the same size as your brain and make them want to lust for a real Girl!

You can do it!!!! I'm sure, if they are into miniscule things.

LMFAOPIMP!!!!!

Pete, you Male~Pig! Once you spit a baby out your penis, then come talk to me about childbirth and abortion. I've only had the former (childbirth) but I will never have someone take away my right or someone else's right.


All this BS on what is right and what is wrong makes me sick.

Who are you to be judge and jury...Did GOD come down and appoint you to do so?

~Signed~

A very Proud Momma!
KerstyfromCL | 07.13.06 - 12:54 am | #

I love how Pete's latest post ends with how "one" person ruins things for many. ONE person, Petey? Come on, there has to be several hundred of us laughing our asses off at you AT LEAST.

Also, for anyone STILL reading comments, PLEASE nominate Pete for this week's edition of "CONSERVATIVE IDIOTS" at http://www.democraticunderground.com by emailing to earlg@democraticunderground.com with "conservative idiot" in the subject line and linking to the cached version of this post and comments section. I'll bet Petey could be number 1 if we really try.
Woman's Body, Woman's Choice | 07.13.06 - 12:58 am | #

Gravatar Come on Pete! Which of the following statements is true ans which one were you lying through your teeth?

Most recent claim about his stupidity:

"Point one - My article was a joke, which obviously thousands of you didn't get, all the while accusing me of being the stupidest person on the planet."

Previous admission of his stupidity:

"Needless to say, a few people wanted to let me know that I was a dolt for thinking that her article was real. As a matter of fact, call me a dolt, because in the beginning I really did think it was real."


Come on Pete. You're a good Christian. You should be able to own up to yout lies. God does not like Liars Pete. Just admit it already!

Did you check this link yet Pete. Dying to know what you think:
http://blasphemer.cf.huffingtonpost.com/
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 3:15 am | #

Pete. You are really a very silly man. What would Jesus Do? I bet he'd try to slap some sense into that head of yours.
Stop bothering the women at family planning clinics, Pete.
readerbroad | 07.13.06 - 4:19 am | #

The left-wing leftist liberals and the pro-murder communists refuse to acknowledge it but this article is the Truth. Even if it has been written as a satire, this is what pro-murderers really believe. Abortionists and their clients show no hesitation for their odious crimes. They might as well be celebrant.
A concerned Christian | 07.13.06 - 5:21 am | #

Gravatar Poor little wanker Pete thought everyone would go away and stop laughing at him because he disabled his comments. I bet he still has the links to his actual comment pages, and keeps watching them. I bet he really enjoys the attention he's finally getting.
nemo0037 | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 6:30 am | #

Gravatar "The left-wing leftist liberals and the pro-murder communists refuse to acknowledge it but this article is the Truth. Even if it has been written as a satire, this is what pro-murderers really believe. Abortionists and their clients show no hesitation for their odious crimes. They might as well be celebrant.
A concerned Christian"

It is pure BS like ths statement right here that got that article written in the first place. Anyone that thinks people are happy about abortion, or pleased to be getting one is so screwed by their own propoganda they have lost touch with reality.

Maybe that's why you want to defend this moronic freak. You are both deluded.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 8:15 am | #

You want to know reality Distressed anti-American? Abortion is the wanton murder and disregard of the life that God has given you. Those who wish to protect this barbaric act and to spit on God's greatest gift hold no value in the individual.

This attitude leads to murder.
It leads to fascism.
It leads to Communism.
It leads to liberalism!

You go ahead and laugh about this article all you like but murder is not a laughing matter.
A concerned Christian | 07.13.06 - 8:41 am | #

Gravatar You know what concerned Christian. You are whacked. No one likes abortion. Your assertions to the contrary are pure crap. Just right-wing fundie propoganda. Like we party in the streets for abortion. Get a freaking clue.

Abortion leading to Murder, fascism, communism and liberalism? Are you really so stupid to think that somehow communism and fascism are even remotely compatible? They are ideological opposites ad opposed as fundied and atheists. The fact that you would assert that all that is the result of abortion tells the whole world you are just as stupid and gullible as our buddie Pete.

Go look up the to systems and do some reading you moron.

Do you make it a regular practice to defend liars? You know full well he lied. The proop is right there up thread. I guess that lies are fine with you as long at they are attacking a woman's RIGHT to choose?

For the record, I'm not laughing at the Onion article. I though it was in poor taste myself. I am laughing at morons like you and Pete that would actually take it as real, then having done so, try to lie their way out of the embarassment they so richly deserve to further their anti-choice agenda. Spineless cowards.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 8:54 am | #

Gravatar So Concerned Xtian:

Which of the following contradictory statements by lying fundie Pete do you think is true and which the lie?

Most recent claim about his stupidity:

"Point one - My article was a joke, which obviously thousands of you didn't get, all the while accusing me of being the stupidest person on the planet."

Previous admission of his stupidity:

"Needless to say, a few people wanted to let me know that I was a dolt for thinking that her article was real. As a matter of fact, call me a dolt, because in the beginning I really did think it was real."

You tell me. You are defending him and his lies afterall.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 8:59 am | #

Gravatar Hey Pete,

I doubt you trying to move on to the "evils of (life-saving) stem cell research" makes you think you are moving past this embarassment.

Try again. You are a blog-star now. Embrace your embarassment Pete. Don't just try and sweep your gullibility under the rug buddy!
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 9:03 am | #

#16!!!

You are a douchebag!
YT Fan | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 9:05 am | #

Gravatar pickles = geigh
John Wexpler | 07.13.06 - 9:27 am | #

Gravatar Ah, some fun new terminology!

1. Geigh 17 up, 1 down

Unfortunate, or lame. Geigh is the loophole out of Homophobia, and by not insulting gay people (Gay does not equal Geigh), now you're a valiant liberal!

That math test was so geigh....No, Julio, I'm not offending homos!

by Poppa z Apr 25, 2005 email it
permalink: del.icio.us
Send to a friend
your email:
their email:



2. geigh 8 up, 2 down

Unimpressive; lame.
See teh suck

The prior examples are geigh.

by k2 Jan 18, 2003 email it
3. geigh 7 up, 5 down

(adj) Pathetic or unfortunate.

1. If you can't do that, you must be geigh.

by QZkotL Apr 9, 2003 email it
4. geigh 3 up, 2 down

PC term coined for people who are lame. See also, Pickles.

Pickles is so geigh, Michael Jackson won't sleep with him.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 9:37 am | #

Gravatar A Concerned Christian,

You're at least partly wrong.

Conservatism leads to Fascism.

And if you have such great respect for the life that God grants us, I assume that you do not support the Bush Administration and any other government that advocates war, na?
chromium | 07.13.06 - 10:00 am | #

Gravatar Where'd you go Concerned Xtian?

I thought you wanted a debate? You certainly rolled in here like you did. Come on. Lets hear more on your theories about the fascist/communist liberals!

A link for you as well. I keep asking Pete for his thoughts. Maybe you'll give me yours!

http://blasphemer.cf.huffingtonpost.com/
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 10:00 am | #

Gravatar Last I checked, weren't fascism and communism opposite ends of the political spectrum? So, us evil liberals are going to be both extreme left wing *and* extreme right wing if we continue to exercise control over our own bodies?

Oh! I get it! It's one of those 'Yo Momma jokes!
"Yo Momma is so fat, she's both a fascist and a communist!"
chromium | 07.13.06 - 10:06 am | #

Gravatar My favorite? Referring to pro-choice as 'pro-abortion'. SURE! That's it! Just because I think women have the right to decide if they want to give birth I am all for killin' babies! Get real. I ADORE the children in my family and am still pro-choice. Why? Because far be it from me to place judgment on a woman who is in a situation I have never been in. Far be it from me to decide FOR HER that she should struggle for the rest of her life to support a child who she may grow to despise because of the hardships. Or, there's the health angle. What if it puts the woman in danger to give birth? Who am I to tell her that she should risk her life for a pregnancy she didn't intend to have? NO ONE is pro-abortion. That statement is ignorant. We are pro women's rights. Get it straight.
Danielle | 07.13.06 - 10:10 am | #

Gravatar "NO ONE is pro-abortion. That statement is ignorant. We are pro women's rights. Get it straight."

You are absolutely correct. That BS propoganda is the reason the Onon put out the article in the first place and it is the reason that Our buddy here was so very willing to assume the article was factual. It supported his totally scewed worldview to such a degree, he never though it may be satire.

Faith-based hate of liberals.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 10:34 am | #

Gravatar actually I dont really care if its referring to gays (homosexuals) or the new term that is coming out of the old insult to straight people. See the term is changing to an something it wasnt. Like the original mean for gay which was joy or happy. Now its connotation has changed just like moron has changed. Do you know what moron used to mean? It was one level of mental retardation. So please before you start throwing around liberal this and liberal that get a clue...
John Wexpler | 07.13.06 - 10:37 am | #

Gravatar Ah, I was having a bad day until this...thanks, Pete.
rogar131 | 07.13.06 - 10:54 am | #

Gravatar and pickles = geigh has nothing to do with this topic
John Wexpler | 07.13.06 - 11:01 am | #

I laughed so hard I miscarried.

Up to you whether you want to hold yourself responsible for that.
SoVeryAmused | 07.13.06 - 11:08 am | #

Gravatar I had never heard the term Strikes me as just as offensive as "gay". I can't say I feel that a respelling make a damn bit of difference to the meaining. Clearly insulting to homosexuals either way. I believe that means we agree on this one.

Not sure what brought it up. Certainly has little to do with ths discussion.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 11:09 am | #

Pro-Choice and Pro-Abortion are not the same thing. Why can't you idiot fundies see that? You take the Bible verbatim as black and white and you view the world in black and white. Sadly, it's anything but. Your blatant idiocy is remarkable to say the least.
Pete's a moron | 07.13.06 - 11:30 am | #

Gravatar Some new definitions for you all:

"Pull a Pete"

verb.
1. To publicly humiliate oneself by being immensely gullible.

Related term:
"A Pete"

Noun.
1. A person so deluded by their own worldview that they publicly humiliate themself as a result.

See "A Pete" here:
http://www.seedsofdoubt.com/dist...Shinn- Small.jpg
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 11:50 am | #

People like Pete kind of scare me.
tremendous | 07.13.06 - 12:09 pm | #

Gravatar "People like Pete kind of scare me.
"

They should. They vote!
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 12:39 pm | #

"Save Baby Weber" - hilarious Distressed!
Caroline Weber | 07.13.06 - 12:52 pm | #

Gravatar Don't worry, Pete, you aren't the only one to get duped.
1 billion Godless commies fell for The Onion, too.
Good company. Goooood company.


Man, it's so tempting to post my "Menstruation is Murder" screed...
Owen | 07.13.06 - 12:55 pm | #

Gravatar Peter Shinn you must do something about this:

Massachusetts Supreme Court Orders All Citizens To Gay Marry http://www.theonion.com/content/...28&special=2004
Flying Spaghetti Monster | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 2:06 pm | #

Gravatar Sigh. Pete and "concerned," please stop. You're not only making all Christians look bad by association, you're turning hundreds (thousands?) of people even farther away from Christ with your fear and hatred.
FARfetched | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 2:56 pm | #

Gravatar This is the funniest thing I have seen in just about forever. Pete, you are, without question, the dumbest fundy I have yet to encounter. And, that's saying something! I live in a red state!

Kudos!!!
Midlodemocrat | 07.13.06 - 2:59 pm | #

Gravatar Dude!

You don't work for me, 'cause God don't hire no knuckleheads.
Jesus | 07.13.06 - 3:14 pm | #

Gravatar Pete is my kind of 'Merrikin! I bet he voted for me 12 times! He's helpin' me keep 'Merrika stupid just like Karl told me I should!
George W. Bush | 07.13.06 - 3:20 pm | #

Gravatar Hey Pete,

If we're the intellectual Left, what does that make you, the imbecilic Right?
Corrina | 07.13.06 - 3:38 pm | #

I don't need to respond to your satanic, liberal drivel. God is on my side, and that is all that matters. You, Distressed, are a puppet for the Devil.
A concerned Christian | 07.13.06 - 4:01 pm | #

Kudos to Pete for sticking it yet again to the Abortion industry. Don't let these butchers dissuade you. You are fighting to protect God's greatist gift, and one day those who find it funny to mock this matter will realize the error of their ways, whether through an epipthany or through Hell fire.

Thou shalt not murder. It is one of the Ten Commandments.

Those who allow the government to permit the murder of the unborn are as guilty as those who gleefully butcher, carve and mutiliate their babies. They are as evil as pedophiles and terrorists.
A concerned Christian | 07.13.06 - 4:14 pm | #

Gravatar The ENTIRE series of posts are mirrored on a site here:

http://www.prolifeblogs.com/arti...ves/commentary/

You can still comment if you have a typekey ID.
Peggy Archer | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 4:15 pm | #

Will you stupid, shrill, extremist nuts shut the hell up? Seriously, shut up or learn how to debate without resorting to the holier-than-thou idiocy, you're not doing the conservative movement any favors.
Anonymous | 07.13.06 - 4:22 pm | #

#Thou shalt not murder. It is one of the Ten Commandments.

You don't understand the full context of the Bible, so please don't selectively quote passages to support your morality. Learn Hebrew and Greek in order to grasp the full meaning of the Bible and do a whole heck of a lot more thinking than you have done up to this point, including a cross-comparative analysis of religion, in general.
Jim | 07.13.06 - 4:34 pm | #

They don't let you vote, do they?
jeremy | 07.13.06 - 4:37 pm | #

this silly fuckwad has to be related to the president. Christ on a crutch i actually think that this has surpassed Monty Python and Dave chappelle as the funniest thing in the history of the human race. Someone shoot the silly fucker... we'll call it late term abortion.
deathonastick | 07.13.06 - 4:53 pm | #

Gravatar Owned.
switchride | 07.13.06 - 5:01 pm | #

I don't need to respond to your satanic, liberal drivel. God is on my side, and that is all that matters. You, Distressed, are a puppet for the Devil.

See, this is what I'm talking about. If you really understood the Bible, you would understand the Devil, but as is quite apparent from your statements that you don't. Rebellion/Satan is part of nature and, certainly, part of "God's plan." For, you see, God is omniscient and omnipotent and created everything from Nothing; there is nowhere God is not, and God's plan is perfect and God is perfect. Do you know what this means? It means that God is the dark and the light, the alpha and omega, the giver of life and the causer of calamity, just as it says in the Bible. All things are a manifestation of God and all things are made of God, God's spirit resides in every living thing, the implicate order of everything-- and that would, necessarily, include Satan and every other "evil" thing in existence. When people don't fully grasp this concept, it causes them to put up barriers between themselves and the world, to see things in very narrow-minded ways, because everything they were not taught by their simplistic Sunday school Christian upbringing is considered "evil." Well, guess what? Sunday school is for morons who can't actually read the Bible for themselves in its original languages and do a little thinking. If you read the actual Bible for yourself, you can clearly see the development of Satan from the Old Testament into the New and it becomes very clear who the real cause of "evil" is: Man. And you and your narrow-minded Christian cronies are the perfect example of this evil. Throughout history, "Satan" was used to specifically villify groups of people who were not deemed "God's chosen ones" and whose actions did not conform to the group identity. But, this is not how Satan was used in the Old Testament at all.
Dave | 07.13.06 - 5:05 pm | #

Gravatar Come On Pete! Click this link and tell me what you think. You seem like you want to smite folks for their evil.

Start with George Bush! Come on Pete.

Click it:

http://blasphemer.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

You'll love the power!
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 5:15 pm | #

Gravatar "Comment Successfully Posted

You're serious, aren't you?
Kevin T. Keith | Homepage | 07.06.06 - 4:02 pm | #

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

What a douchebag. Ever heard of satire?
Freedom Girl | Homepage | 07.07.06 - 1:55 pm | #

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

Pete, I hate to tell you this, but The Onion is a humor publication where all of their interviews and articles are made up. But I'm glad you took it seriously.
Cinnamon | Homepage | 07.07.06 - 2:36 pm | #

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

*cough*satire*cough
TexasHornyToad | 07.07.06 - 3:08 pm | #

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

That's beautiful. I mean, the Onion is consciously working to create satire and yet you outdid them by writing an absurdly funny article without even knowing it!

How on earth did you learn to use a computer?
puck | 07.07.06 - 3:30 pm | #

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

AHAHAHA! Totally missed the boat, huh? You are so smart, S-M-R-T!
Anonymous | 07.07.06 - 4:13 pm | #

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

Check it out: http://sufficientscruples.com/bl...tinuing-series/
slattern | 07.07.06 - 4:14 pm | #

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

Oh Pete, I am really blown away with your sheer lack of a clue. I am sorry that you fell for the Onion's satire.

I hope you do a bit more research next time before you fly off the handle.

Best of luck with burning and creating your lynch mob for this fictious woman.
stormtoys | 07.07.06 - 4:38 pm | #

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

Wow, you're obtuse! But I won't criticize you; I'll pray for you.
WestEnder | Homepage | 07.07.06 - 6:24 pm | #

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

You are a dumbfuck.
Kala | 07.07.06 - 6:52 pm | #

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

And in your banner, is the sentence "We will end abortion through our unity and the Monthly Call for Life" a reference to a period? Serisouly, I didn't not know that the shedding of my unterine lining was actually a pro-life rally. I'll let my right-wing fallopian tubes have it later.
Kala | 07.07.06 - 6:54 pm | #

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

I promise you, I'm honestly curious. Are you a little bit embarassed for misinterpreting The Onion? Who pointed this article out to you? Or have you read the e-magazine before, always taking it seriously? Do you believe us when we say it's not? Please, drop me a line.
Jessica | Homepage |
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 5:31 pm | #

Gravatar "I don't need to respond to your satanic, liberal drivel. God is on my side, and that is all that matters. You, Distressed, are a puppet for the Devil."

Whay's the matter Concenrned Xtian? Can decide which of Pete's totally contrabictory statements is true and which if the lie (is they are not both lies)?

You Concened Xtian are a tool. A spineless, gutless little tool of other people's oppression.

You come here to defend a liar (as liars do) and you fail miserably.

Now answer the question you tool. Which of this contradictory statements do you think is the lie? Or are you just gonna stick with your lying buddy and make Satan laugh? He loves liars (for lunch)!

Answer my question loser. You want to defend this asshat. Defend him.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 5:37 pm | #

God, save us from your followers! Religion stops a thinking brain.
Steve | 07.13.06 - 6:29 pm | #

"Thou shalt not murder. It is one of the Ten Commandments."

Yes and the fourth commandment says that the 7th day is a sabbath to the Lord and should be a holy day.

Have you ever not worked and gone to church on Saturday? Gee, probably more Christians have broken this one than any other commandment in history.
ccrevival | 07.13.06 - 7:07 pm | #

(Scarecrow)
I could wile away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain

I'd unravel any riddle
For any individ'le
In trouble or in pain

(Dorothy)
With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'
You could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain

(Scarecrow)
Oh, I would tell you why
The ocean's near the shore
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I'd sit and think some more

I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain
Jesus H. Christ Herself | 07.13.06 - 7:21 pm | #

Holy crap, I almost peed my pants when I found this. Thank you so much for giving me something to blog about. Sometimes I have a hard time coming up with something, but you gave me more than enough. Thanks!
Pascha | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 9:38 pm | #

Gravatar Hey Pete, You Have More Fans!

Immitation is the sincerest form of flattery!

http://marchtogetheragainst.blog...t.blogspot.com/

Still waiting some commet from you. Are you even aware your comments still exist?

Also still waiting for Concerned Xtian to get back to me on which of your contradictory statements is the lie. Maybe you'll fill us in.

http://blasphemer.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

Your Wiki entry is growing:
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 9:40 pm | #

You're homeschooled, aren't you?

I could just tell.
Fab | 07.13.06 - 10:17 pm | #

DA Pete's posts are irrelevant in the larger scheme. You are supporting murder. You are supporting the sacrifice of the individual to the altar of convenience. Why don't you answer for this unpardonable act instead of making such a fuss over this trivial matter?
A concerned Christian | 07.13.06 - 10:41 pm | #

And another thing Distressed American, I am familiar with your DU/LU haunts. Us Freepers have you exposed.
A concerned Christian | 07.13.06 - 10:53 pm | #

And Fab, there is nothing wrong with homeschooling. Better to teach your children God's vision than the secular, pro-abortion, socialist views of the Government school system.
A concerned Christian | 07.13.06 - 10:55 pm | #

Gravatar Why are you afraid to answer the question Concerned Xtian? It is a simple question.

Which of the two contradictory statements made by the guy you are defending are the lie?

Another question, why do you chose to defend a liar?

So far your dodging and ducking do not explain your position in anyway. Do you have anything of note to contribute?

Probably not if you spend a lot of time at freeperlandia.

Stop being a wesel. Answer the questions.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 11:10 pm | #

Gravatar Of course if you spend a lot of time at the freeper sites. you are probably well versed in defending lying wingers. The truth means nothing to the right. Not as long as you can shove your religion down everyone's throat. Isn't that right.

It is clear as day you are defending a liar here. Typical winger.

Exposed me? Get real. You are the one here backing a proven liar. Expose that you fundie nutcase.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.13.06 - 11:13 pm | #

I'm sure you pro-lifers will be happy to know that I plan on donating profits from the merchandise to non-profit orgs such as Planned Parenthood and the ACLU. Thanks Pete!

http://www.cafepress.com/ feralvi...isions.65565584
dim sum | 07.14.06 - 12:02 am | #

With more stem cell research, it may become possible to clone new brain cells to fill in your multiple lesions.
Leon Radish | 07.14.06 - 1:36 am | #

I am the alpha and I am the omega.
God | 07.14.06 - 2:23 am | #

I am the alpha-linolenic and omega-6 fatty acids.
Chum | 07.14.06 - 2:30 am | #

Okay, I'm going to pull a pete of my own.

Distressed American, I'm dissapointed in you.

http://hannity.com/forum/ showthr...182#post2451182
A concerned Christian | 07.14.06 - 6:58 am | #

Just posting to emphasize, one more time, how easy some of you play into the stereotypes.

Here we have an idiot named Pete who happened to live up to it and now the DUmbasses, the CUmstains, the FReaks and the rest of the parrots from stage left and even some on stage right are going to use this as a portrait to paint the same shit they always paint. Emphasizing blunders like this does nothing to solve the real debate that this is but a miniscule part of.

Yeah, accuse me of pissing on the party but my piece is said.
Rationality | 07.14.06 - 7:13 am | #

Gravatar You, sir, have truly disillusioned me. It is said that My Father never makes mistakes. But he has made one, and that is you.

Please resume blogging after you have developed enough brain matter and nerve cells to form a synapse.

Thank you.
Jesus Christ | Homepage | 07.14.06 - 7:16 am | #

Gravatar Why does it suprise me that Concerned Xtian is really Rationality? Just one more freaking lie from these right wing douchebags. Hey, asshat you've been banned at nearly very site you have visited. Maybe that has something to do with your apparent pathological lying. Even your own have soundly rejected your crap.

Now he comes here lying like his buddy posing as a sock puppet to defend one of the stupidest wingers of all time. Classic!.

Like I said asshat, if you hang at freeper sites, you are well versed in defending other right wing liars.

Now, since you are still ducking, which of Pete's statements is the lie? Why can't you answer the simple question Rat? Just can't admit that you came here to defend a dumbass and a liar?

You really are the stereotypical winger. Always defending dumbasses and liars (frequently rolled into the same guy).

You can not come here defending a liar with more lies and think that earns you points or something. You are a pitiful hack.

Answer the question you lying little weasel.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.14.06 - 8:50 am | #

Gravatar "Emphasizing blunders like this does nothing to solve the real debate that this is but a miniscule part of."

Apparently it is a big enough part that you feel the need to come here as a lying sock puppeter to defend this ass and his stereotypical winger ignorance and total lack of a sense of humor.

Find this guy an embarassment do you Rat, the often banned?

Trying to sweep him under the rug ASAP?

Sorry Rat, Pete is one of your's. Live with him (or keep lying for him matters little).
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.14.06 - 8:54 am | #

Gravatar Hey Pete,

You have one defender and he is as big a liar as you are! That must make you proud.

I guess lying weasels love to defend other lying weasels.
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.14.06 - 8:59 am | #

Distressed, you dipshit, I have no need to defend those I don't agree with.

I was only out to prove that you and your DU/CU ilk is every bit as fucking retarded as Pete is.

It was proven. And you continue to prove it.
Rationality | 07.14.06 - 9:18 am | #

I mean, you calling me a right winger... coming from a DUmbass, that's quite a compliment. Everyone else that has ever spoken to me however would disagree with that assessment, except perhaps other DU and P4C robots.

Get it through your thick, $kimmer-meets-KKKGator programmed plastic ass of a head: if you think what I said was to be taken seriously--I mean come on, "I have god on my side, you're a devil puppet blah blah blah" seeing you buy into that and posting it on the DU as you try to "pwn" it... you and Pete are two sides of the same dulled coin.
Rationality | 07.14.06 - 9:27 am | #

And I do support abortion rights by the way. Had your mother made that choice, the Democrats may have had one less embarassment to deal with.
Rationality | 07.14.06 - 9:30 am | #

Oh wait, I can't compare you to the p4c losers anymore... shame.
Rationality | 07.14.06 - 9:42 am | #

There is no such word as "miniscule."

The word is correctly spelled (and pronounced) "minuscule."

(I learned that at my librul college, in between the "how to become a communist fascist" lessons.)
Bill O'Loofah | 07.14.06 - 9:47 am | #

I think this project needs to be continued. Poor Pete has disabled comments on his blog but that doesn't mean we can't continue his work. Say here:

March Together For Life - Or Else
Rusputin | Homepage | 07.14.06 - 9:58 am | #

Gravatar Sort of pathetic... Pete has added yet another bit to prove that he is unable to connect with reality. Check out the new, edited version of "...without conscience." He thinks to this day that we're laughing at abortion.

Yo, Pete! You are the clown! We're laughing to the clown! It's YOU.

BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Yep. Still too damn funny to be true, even after over a week of self-embarrassment!
nemo0037 | Homepage | 07.14.06 - 10:27 am | #

Oh why thank you Bill for the spell check. Now try making a point sometime.
Rationality | 07.14.06 - 10:58 am | #

Gravatar You are a riot Rat. A douchebag riot!

You think that sockpuppeting and acting an ass proves us all as gullible as fundie Pete? Does that even begin to compare with the nonsense Pete took for real?

I have no knowledge of what retarded sock puppet you push in the door. I usually assume posters are not lying sacks of shit. And that is what you think is comparable to Pete's gullibility. LOL!

I guess I should have assumed it about you. Yeah, you really got over on us libs with this new lie! You are the master. Be very proud of your skills as a lying sack of shit. You are good art it. Must reflect practice.

I can't believe you are stroking it to this silliness. There is no comparison between an idiot believing a well known satire paper as real and my not calling out your sock puppet in three posts.

Funny, that you can only defend this liar with more of your lies. And you actually think that makes you smarter or better than anyone else?

That is liar logic at its finest.

Why don't you take your ass back to the one lamse ass board (Hannity LOL!) that you has not been kicked off of and talk to the wingers that are also laughing at this jerk off. They would find your BS as silly as I do.

Keep defending winger liars with your additional lies. You are good at it (although it does not change the fact that this guy is all YOURS). You are a fucking joke. Sadly, you are not as funny as the ass you are here to defend.

What's the matter Rat? Does Pete embarass you? Are you ever going to just answer the question about the liar you are here defending?

No balls? No honesty? No brian?
Distressed American | Homepage | 07.14.06 - 11:01 am | #

Gravatar Posted this on the other set of comments, but:

Since the Pete-meister disabled the comments on the blog, I figured we would all like to add comments to his new posts of idiocy

March Together V 2.0
dtordini | 07.14.06 - 11:54 am | #


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